Before married, when I was dating my husband, I fell in love with this guy who was also attached. We dated on and off for about 2 years. Tried to break off several times but ended up being together again. We treasure our friendship and understands each other very well. We can chat about anything under the sun just like best friends. I told him to have a clean cut one year before i get married and now I am happily married. But he still sms me, even if it is one in a few months, its enough to spoil my weeks. I know I still feel for him, and I cannot forget the happy times we had together. Now, he is staying so near me, I get even worse. The thought of hoping but worried to see him came back again. I want to stop all these, I am unhappy, and do not want my husband to feel hurt at all. The fact that I cheated on him before married was already bad enough. What should I do to this 'ex' of mine?
2007-03-22 05:51:28 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I was in a similar situation, the only way is to be mean to him, no matter how hard it is, or how much it hurts him and (you), it seems like you want to move on and you don't want to be tempted, his absence is the only way that this will happen, threaten to tell your husband that he keeps bothering you. Tough situation. For me, I had the same thing with a very close friend, she had to do that to me and it worked. We're both fine now and I respect her wishes and understand why she did what she did.
2007-03-22 05:57:33 · answer #1 · answered by KidBao 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My question is why did you get married in the first place if you had feelings for this other guy? It seems that people enter into marriage just for the sake they say I am married. You should of never got married if you are still thinking about this man. You never truly got over the obsession of being with the man you cheated with. Ask yourself do I love my husband and want him to be miserable being with me or should I let him go so I can have a meaningless fling with this other man. My feeling is he is wasting his time with you.
2007-03-22 06:00:44 · answer #2 · answered by red1967 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you had feelings for this guy in the first place, why did you marry someone else? If you really wanted to get rid of this guy you could. I think why you havent is because you still have feelings for him. Now you are in a spot that you love your husband and still have strong feelings for another man, tough position to be in. If you dont want to hurt your relationship with your husband you are going to have to get mean to this other guy and tell him you are happy, and you want no more contact with him.
2007-03-22 06:10:54 · answer #3 · answered by dakota_gal_1968 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should just tell him exactly what you're telling us. By not letting him know how you feel, you're stringing him along, letting him have hopes too that he has a chance with you, and he won't go on with his life until you make it clear that you're going on with yours WITH your husband! You're feeling those feelings of temptation, and let me tell you from experience, the best way to deal with temptation if you feel the least bit weak to it, is to REMOVE yourself from it, and avoid it altogether. If you don't put yourself in that spot, you can't screw up. Be the adult, and tell the man you do not want to hurt your husband, that you did care for him, but it's over. Everyone will be better off for it.
2007-03-22 05:58:15 · answer #4 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U were wrong for what you did and you need to cut off all contact right now or tell your husband what's going on. You can't keep stringing things on like this forever you know. Sooner or later things will catch up to you. I would change my e-mail, my phone, whatever it took if you want to cut it off that bad. Are you happy? Be honest with yourself first!
2007-03-22 05:59:08 · answer #5 · answered by globalystic1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF YOU CHEATED AND ARE STILL COMMUNICATING WITH THE EX THEN YOU DO NOT LOVE YOUR HUSBAND LIKE YOU SAY YOU DO. IF YOU DID THIS BEFORE YOU GOT MARRIED YOU SHOULD HAVE NEVER GOT MARRIED. AND NOW YOU STILL HAVE MIXED FEELINGS. YOU NEED TO GET A DIVORCE AND LET YOUR HUSBAND FIND SOMEONE THAT IS GOING TO TREAT HIM THE WAY HE IS SUPPOSE TO BE TREATED. AND YOU NEED TO GO AHEAD AND HOOK UP WITH THE FLING AND LET HIM CHEAT ON YOU AND WISH THAT YOU WERE FAITHFUL TO YOUR HUSBAND. GOOD LUCK TO YOUR HUSBAND. I HOPE HE FINDS A FAITHFUL WIFE.
2007-03-22 05:59:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, you're married to your husband not this other guy. You need to understand that. Look at your finger-that ring means you married ONE man.
Next, I would explain to this guy that you're never going to be able to any more than friends. Keep the friendship going ONLY if you can control yourself and not mentally or emotionally cheat on your hsuband.
2007-03-22 05:55:18 · answer #7 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would block him from messaging you on your messenger or however he is contacting you. You need to make him aware you can't see him anymore that way. It doesn't sound like you are strong enough to be just friends and if your husband knows anything about what happen with him before he isn't going to want you talking to him.
2007-03-22 06:01:22 · answer #8 · answered by Jennifer U 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I agree with inmate36. Either you change your phone number or ignore his sms totally. If you love your husband, give him some respects. Do not create any mess in your marriage, cherish it.
Good Luck.
2007-03-22 19:20:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm wondering why you even married your hubby in the first place.
As for the ex, make a clean break. This is totally unfair to your husband, who deserves to be respected.
2007-03-22 05:57:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋