A type of manipulation: does anyone know how to explain this behaviour in psychological terms?

Question

"In either of the case above, there was no malicious intent, but that’s not always the case. You must know of examples in which you were LURED INTO WANTING ATTENTION, especially as children. But sometimes the people who lure you, LURE YOU INTO TROUBLE. There is another aspect of it (I think female children use the tactic more than males do). Suppose you’re a female student at a school. This ONE POPULAR GIRL is VERY FRIENDLY WITH YOU. But after you feel comfortable around her, she goes off and SPENDS TIME WITH THE MAJORITY OF THE OTHER STUDENTS, because THAT’S WHAT BEING POPULAR IS ALL ABOUT! But she IGNORES YOU. So what may happen is that YOU MAY NOT FEEL REJECTED ONLY BY HER, BUT BY THE OTHERS, AS WELL. You must not fall for that, and here's the best way not to: you must realize that this girl does this only to feel important. It’s a weakness, and realizing this will help you to be less controlled by your own weaknesses. "

Especially, explain the behaviour of the popular one.

Answer 1

I don't know about explaining this one in "psychological terms" however, I believe that people use other people for what that particular person provides them with, be it attention or anything else in which they're seeking. When women do what you've explained she's done, especially at high school age, they ARE searching for instant approval that maybe their father (in particular) doesn't give them at home. You are right to think that people who need so greatly to be popular and to be acknowledged by the so called "cool people" are in great need of feeling important. If you ignore her from now on, not acting mad at her, just ignore her, she will be surprised at that and will probably run back to you for more attention. Sad these games are, I know.