These last few months we have been busy, however every time I try to initiate sex he doesn't seem interested. We had a son about 9 months ago and I know my body has changed, but it has just been the last 3 months or so that he doesn't seem interested.
No he's not cheating either. Do you guys have any suggestions? Do guys have "down time"?
2007-03-22 05:45:54 · 29 answers · asked by mysterious_qt 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If this is your first child it could be that he is suddenly seeing you as a mother rather than as a wife. Some men have trouble making love to there wives in this situation because suddenly, in their minds, they are making love to a mother and that can cause problems for them. I would suggest to try to do something to remind him you are still the woman he married and made love to before the baby. Dress sexy for him if that is something he liked before, do whatever you did before that always turned him on. Maybe find a baby sitter for an evening so that you can spend time alone together with no interruptions, maybe even get a hotel room.
2007-03-22 05:53:50 · answer #1 · answered by Kevin J 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He might be afraid of getting you pregnant again. Maybe he thinks it hurt you too much. He may also be having a hard time with getting it up and doesn't want you to notice for fear you will think less of him. It could be stress. And yes, guys do have down time sometimes. Especially under lots of stress. Face it, there is a new baby in the house and you two are both still adjusting to this. Try open comunications with each other...it's very important!
2007-03-22 12:50:46 · answer #2 · answered by globalystic1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey. Guys have off days too. Its stress. Believe me. I've got experience with these things. Job, Mortgage, keeping wife happy, keeping kids happy, Yard, Car, helping around the house. All these responsibilities take there toll after awhile. You forget sometimes (very few times) that that gorgeous woman that you live with actually may want you for a change instead of other way around. Hey, I'm not saying it's okay for him to ignore you. I'm saying being 100% locked on to your needs every day may be asking too much on certain days. Only you can decide what those days look like. I would talk to him and explain that you love him and NEED him and his compliments.
2007-03-22 13:06:22 · answer #3 · answered by prouddaddy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all get exhausted from a new born baby. they need constant attention. I would suggest getting a babysitter and go to a hotel for the weekend just the two of you and enjoy each other like a new honeymoon. I would do this once a month or so, so he feels special to you too. Men get a bit funny when children are in the picture and they actually get jealous of the attention the baby gets believe it or not. Make him feel special and he will start to feel better. I hope this helped, take care Heather
2007-03-22 12:51:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps he was there when you give birth. Men sometime think of the hard time when you are giving birth and seeing you so tired with the baby.. he might has some after birth phobia whenever he think of having sex with you! give him some time.. you both just need time for each other.. just be together reading, watch movie, have some private time with each other but no sex till he ready to make the 1st move,
2007-03-26 09:46:09 · answer #5 · answered by TO 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He peaked at 18, you're probably at your peak now.
The best way to get something going in the bedroom is to start preparing in the morning. What I mean by this is tell him in the morning as you two are getting ready for work that you're going to jump him tonight. Then plant a note in his briefcase (or somewhere) reinforcing the idea. Then in the afternoon text him that you hope he's taken his vitamins. When you two finally see each other plant a big one on him. You won't have a chance to jump him, he'll jump you.
If you wait until the sun goes down to "prepare" him for sex, it's probably already too late, but if you start first thing, then you and sex are on his mind all day. You've got him thinking of what he wants to do to you.
2007-03-22 12:56:43 · answer #6 · answered by Dino 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think you have anything to worry about. My very good friend, after having a baby also though that she might not be attractive to her husband any more when in reality like you said men just have that "down time." Especially when there is added stress and responsibility in the house hold. To him I'm sure you are as sexy as ever so no worries!
2007-03-22 12:50:46 · answer #7 · answered by Leyla 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My and my wife are on the rebound after just such a length of time. Its been almost 11 mnths since my son was born. I think it has something to do with the change in life style of having a kid...i assume this is your first.
2007-03-22 13:31:59 · answer #8 · answered by DOC C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I do believe that guys do have "down time." Talk to him about this and let him know how you feel. He may be under some type of stress or something like that.
You won't know until you start to communicate with him.
2007-03-22 12:50:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
some guys get a complex about having sex with the woman that bore their children - (mother is good vs sex as bad) - I don't understand it but it happens. Plan a quiet romantic evening. Take it slow. Be open and understanding. The passion will return.
2007-03-22 12:51:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋