It boils down to my marriage, I have been married for 10yr and right now (well passed month & half) its been crappy.. Quick story my dh has been in business w/his brother for 17yr and bil wife is involved and never liked my dh well things got out of hand w.the business and she decided to kick dh out. (my dh is not a fighter quit person who goes w. the flow) anyway at the end of this month is his last day. Well she (bil wife) has been treating him like crap she is making all the shots etc and treated dh like a red headed step child.. I have talked to my dh repeatley about this he needs to talk to them etc and fight.. Everytime I talk to him he tells me I dont have time for this right now or I dont want to hear it... I am to the point where he doesnt want to hear from me his own wife but he will suck it up and listen to them... I just want to pack my crap and leave and maybe he will get the point. Am I just being to crazy over this? Selfish? Sorry so long.. Any advice?
2007-03-22 05:44:53 · 4 answers · asked by Alexis221 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes I have asked him why he doesnt want to fight etc, he tells me he isnt that type of person. Which is fine I cant stand when he gets stepped on by this people I guess I get pissed because I care for him and he just sucks it up.. I have worked with her thats why I quit because she is soooo bad. I understand he deals with her and comes home to me. I am there for him I guess I feel he pushes me out and takes there side..
TIA for the advice after reading it I think I need to suck it up and deal with it for another week...
2007-03-22 05:58:49 · update #1
You already know that he has to deal with a crappy work environment, he knows this as well. Yet, he is being a responsible husband and is taking care of business even though he's miserable. He has to deal with a less than desirable work place and he most certainly doesn't want to deal with more crap when he's home. You should be supporting him in his time of need, remember it is your husband that has to deal with all the disrespect out side of the home, please show him respect when he is home from the one person that should always be by his side. I understand that you don't feel he is standing up for himself, but as a man- hearing that from your wife would make me feel pretty small. Let him eventually come up with his own conclusions and/or options when he is ready to. There's no doubt you are doing what your doing out of love for your husband and out of frustration that he is in. Keep the love part, but give him peace in his home. May God bless you both.
2007-03-22 06:00:41 · answer #1 · answered by Micah 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay get this. You are supposed to be his PARTNER. His "soft place to fall". He goes to work, and deals with a mega b*tch all day long, then comes home to you ripping him a new one too. He's probably just dealing with it, cuz it gets the bills paid. I don't think it's worth throwing a marriage away. He's the one having to deal with the crap, not you, right? And he tells you he doesn't have time for it, and does not want to hear it because he's been ragged on all week every day by Cruella. Why don't you try doing what YOU'D want your hubby to do for you if you had a crappy job you hated, but needed the money, so you stayed. When he comes home, have him something hot cooked. Have dinner, and don't make him feel like crap, because he's already gotten his fill of that from work. THEN rub his shoulders, and let him know that you're sorry he hates his job, and that you know he can do so much better, but you're there, and help him relax some instead of joining the "pack" and going for the throat. TAKE A CHILL PILL, SISTER! :)
2007-03-22 12:53:55 · answer #2 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it's just crappy because of his work sometimes it's best not to work with or for family.
He my know your right, but may feel like not working where hes not wanted.
I know I wouldn't be some place where I'm not wanted.
I know your up set and understand the felling of just packing leaving, but that's not a good reason for ending a 10yr marriage.
Your not being selfish , your just looking out for him ..
If he's been good to you stand by him he'll love you more for that then if you stan up and fight for him.
If that 17 year business with his brother was set up right, I'd sell out my part ( there must be away to get something out of it) and open my Owen business.
Maybe you can work with him that way.
2007-03-22 13:24:01 · answer #3 · answered by ღ♥ஐcookie1ஐ♥ღ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried understanding the situation from your husband's point of view? Asking him why he doesn't want to fight? Getting to the root of his fears & feelings, then helping him to find a way to deal with it all?
I'm sure this sucks for him, too. But, you can't just will him to be someone who he isn't, to fight when he doesn't want to do it.
2007-03-22 12:49:52 · answer #4 · answered by Maureen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋