how can my partner leave his family?

Question

i am in a relationship with a man who has tried to leave his partner, but he cant find the courage to do so, we are in love but his two youngest children are in pieces and his two eldest have threatened to turn his whole family against him.He cant understand i cant wait forever!

Answer 1

You`re a selfish cow, leave him to his family. If i was the mother of his kids and you were trying to nick my bloke you wouldn`t have much of a face left.......

Answer 2

It depends. If he can't spend time with the family because he's busy working to provide for the family, then that's something that should be admired. Sometimes times are tough and we need to be understanding of the people we love. That being said, I would have a talk with him, and gently explain to him that as much as we need the money, his family needs his company, too. Especially if we have children: his being there for them physically is important, too. So I'm sure that he could make the most of whatever little time he has, even if it's 5 minutes a day. I'd make sure the kids understand that their daddy loves them and is doing the best he can. But if the family isn't undergoing some financial crisis, and his work is still keeping him away from it, then that would concern me, and I'd help put things in perspective for him. It's easy for us to get carried away with our work lives and forget what really means the most to us. On the other hand, if he doesn't make time for the family for a reason other than trying to help his family (which should be his #1 priority), then I'd be pretty irritated. And I'd do everything in my power to set things right. That being said, I'd doubt I'd leave my husband over this issue. I'm operating on the assumption that I'd only marry a man who would love his family truly and above all else, so I'd never have to doubt his familial devotion. So if he did get distracted by other things, it could easily be remedied. It wouldn't point towards a lack of love on his part (like I said before. People make mistakes; people get carried away). I'd never leave a man unless he didn't love our family at all, or unless the two of us fell irrevocably out of love with each other (which is unlikely; if I ever fell in love with someone enough to marry him, I'm not likely to ever fall out). Marriage is a serious commitment. It should never be entered into, or "exited", so to speak, without serious reason.

Answer 3

I am sorry for u!!!!

This man has no right to be using u or his wife that way. It is not all ur fault he is to blame more than u. He should have never cheated on his wife. The sad thing is that if it wasn't with u it would have been some one else.

As a woman u should have know what u were getting into. He will never leave his family for u he may leave his wife, but his kids they will always be around. R u shore u want some one that has so much s*th to deal with. Remember if u and him ever get together that will be ur problem 2.

His wife is the last thing u need to wary about it his kids......
What u need to do is go out and explore the world for ur self and find out what u really want. This so called (MAN) can't give u that.. There r more men out there just find one that does have to much on his plate. We always think that there r no more men out there, the Truth is we don't really look around. Don't cheat ur self out of someone who will be willing to give u what u deserve and more. Just choose the right one.... No one is perfect we all make mistakes, But we all so have to own up to them. Remember that old saying what goes around come around. Live is to short to wait for any Tom Dick Or Harry.

Answer 4

Sorry, but you are not getting any sympathy from me. You went into this relationship knowing he had a partner and children. You should have had enough control and respect for yourself and his partner to wait until he had left her before embarking on a new relationship.
I'm sorry, but if he really wanted to leave his family, then he would have done so. He obviously doesn't care much for them to have betrayed them like this anyway.
He has got it made, wife and family at home, and bit of stuff on the side. Why would he want to leave?
Get some respect and finish it now.

Answer 5

I'm not going to take the moral high ground with you - I've had a fling with a married man but I did it with my eyes open - I never expected him to leave his wife for me.

If someone wants to leave they will find a way. So I'm with most people here, he doesn't want to and poor you have got your fingers burnt.

I suggest you don't wait but move on - that will force his hand one way or the other and at least you get to stop being 'the other woman' and be sure that if your lover says he's gonig to turn up a problem with 'the kids' or 'the wife' won't keep him away.

Answer 6

If a married man welcomes another woman into his life, it shows his true character.....I don't care HOW much this behavior is accepted anymore, it is JUST WRONG. Those kids have no choice, do they? If their dad chooses to cheat on their mother, it's a cowardly way of hiding from issues that NEED to be addressed between he and his wife, and NOT to seek "comfort" from YOU! There are plenty of single men, so address your OWN actions.....you are allowing yourself to tresspass into someone else's life, and to possibly change their futures FOREVER! This exact situation has happened to me and my family.....my kids are 27, 23 and 16, NOT babies, and still, they are broken. They hurt. They will NEVER be able to have a Christmas together, sit down at the dinner table together, experience joys and sorrows together. Damn you, and damn my husband of almost 30 years and his little homewrecker. He has taken advantage of the weakest and most vulnerable time of my life to justify his choice to leave. They never considered MY kids, just as YOU are not, let alone considering me or the wife of your "boyfriend"......that person was right, telling you that YOU are NOT his partner, his WIFE IS! Get out.

Answer 7

You have to stop thinking about yourself. I know how difficult that can be but his children come first and if that means that he needs to stay in his marriage no matter how unhappy that makes him then he must do so, you can't expect him to just leave them behind and to be with you. I know it's difficult for you to understand from your point of view, falling in love with someone who is married is the worse thing because you can never truly have that person the way you want, you have to steal time together and if you love him then you would wait forever.

Answer 8

That was your first mistake. Getting involved with a banded man with committments and responsibilities to someone else. Personally, I don't understand why ANY woman wants to try to build a relationship with someone like that from the very beginning on such a shaky foundation. If he is messing around with YOU on her, what makes you think the next better thing that comes along won't replace YOU? I don't want ANY man I have to steal out from some other woman.

Answer 9

There is no need to wait forever. Encourage him to stay with his family and you move on.
You cannot build a happy relationship on someone elses unhappiness.
He will always regret hurting his children and will come to resent you for making him.
It is always the woman who has to be strong so think of your own future and find someone without all this baggage.

Answer 10

What is it that you love most about him? Is it the way that he can lead a dishonest life in order to do whatever feels good for him?

If he wasn't happy in his relationship, why didn't he make an honest, respectful break with his partner?

Answer 11

Unfortunately, that's one of the biggest headaches about being involved with a married man. He may not really WANT to leave his family. And even if he does succeed, and you get him in the end, what have you really gotten? A man who is known to cheat. He did it with you, what are your assurances he won't ever do it to you? Can you ever really trust him?