what do you think of this poem that I wrote?
good? bad? needs some thing more?
Tips welcome!! :)
were am I?
Were did I go wrong?
Were did I lose my way
Were did I lose my sight?
When did I step off the path that
was right?
Is that really me in the reflection?
Is that my face full of black make up?
Are those my eyes looking back at me blood shot?
Are those my tears falling like broken rain?
Is that face really mine?
Does that pain I see on it really belong to me?
Did I really fall that far away from the light?
Did I really want to go that far or was I just getting back at some one?
I see that the face in the mirror is me and I cant stand the way she keeps staring at me.
I have to go back to where I fell and fix what I have messed up.
Its going to be hard but I have to get my life back on track. and with the help of Jesus I'll make every thing better.
2007-03-22 05:27:35 · 2 answers · asked by Cat 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Well, no offense, but you misspelled "where."
Otherwise, it's a nice poem. Kind of depressing, but a lot of poems are.
2007-03-22 05:31:39 · answer #1 · answered by pokecheckme 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the poem is good the way it is. I liked the rhythm of words, but you should correct the spelling of the word "were" it is supposed to be "where".
2007-03-22 12:32:55 · answer #2 · answered by PrincessC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋