Ok, to be more descriptive, I am 29, he is 32...we are both very attractive and have no problem in that area. I have been use to guys falling over me and not being able to keep their hands off me my whole life. I am very attractive, long blonde hair, nice body, big breast, you name it...lol Husband has never been like most men lusting over me. It has never been a problem until I have reached my sexual peek. Now I want it all the time and he does not. It has been a week now and I am dieing. His thing is, simple things do not turn him on. He wants me to make the first move all the time. I do but would like him to take charge and make the frist move. He is stressed I think, about money, and he may be going over to Iraq for a year. We have also been trying (unsucessfully) to have another baby. He also is addicted to this online video game. He stays up to all hours of the night playing it, instead of me...? go figure. I want more. Dont know what to do. help
2007-03-22 05:26:01 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sounds to me like you've fallen into a rut. It happens all the time in marriage. Sometimes you just get so involved doing the day-to-day things like paying bills, going to work, walking the dog, cleaning the house... etc, that you forget that a marriage takes just as much work as anything else, and the intimate aspect of a marriage is no different.
It sounds to me like your husband has a lot on his plate. Finances usually take a lot out of a person, and throw in a possible tour in Iraq and I can understand why he might be distracting himself with video games. He might feel inadequate because of the money problems, or he might just be really stressed at the thought of leaving a very hot (self-proclaimed) wife behind for a year.
He likes you to initiate... so initiate! Take control! I know you want him to do that, but he might have too much going on to really put the effort out there. It has been a week, and you say you are really frustrated, so why not go ahead and rock his world. Afterwards, talk to him. You'll both have some of your frustrations out and you'll probably feel better, and take that opportunity to have a conversation about all of this... The trip to Iraq, the money, his gaming, and him initiating sex. Don't attack him, because he'll probably just close himself off, but talk to him rationally.
Good luck, but keep in mind that everyone has issues that they worry about, and he's no different.
2007-03-22 05:50:52 · answer #1 · answered by ski4ever1977 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL! I have the same problem. im 18 and my husband is 21. He suprisingly has a low sex drive and I could love on him every day. He also says I should make the first move but then I have to make the 2nd and 3rd too. I say to do what people told me to do, sexy nighties and baby dolls. talk to him. all that good stuff but I have been thinking about meds for my man, I have said things to him but I dont think there is much else we can do. You know some of the things that turn him on just repeat them. I was in the Army and some of the things they say and tell you about Iraq and the pictures they show you, that shut my sex drive off for a week or so.
2007-03-22 05:55:16 · answer #2 · answered by katherinet0805 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry for you that he is acting like this....but you need to talk to him and let him know how you feel. because if you never talk to him how will he know how you feel abotu the subject? You are in a marriage and you have kids I suppose? Well I would say that is you really want to make things better you should talk about it, either to him or a counsler. You are not the problem, you just happen to be inolved. all you wan tis to be close to your husband..I understand...I hope things will work out for you..BEST OF LUCK!!
2007-03-22 05:54:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe if you shake that body in front of him while he is playing the video games he would pay attention to you more. If he keeps playing video games he is gay and you should leave him and find a man who wants sex as much as you...If he starts having sex with you and then decides that after awhile he isn't into it I would start thinking about how hot you really are and maybe you are a bad lay
2007-03-22 05:46:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
So, you're gorgeous and he still isn't interested? Didn't anyone tell you that true beauty comes from within? You think he is stressed about money but you don't know for sure which indicates that you don't communicate too well. Talk to him. He'll have the answers you need. You won't find them here.
2007-03-22 05:45:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well, aren't you just all that? That seems to me to be the problem here... You have to stop throwing this stuff in his face all the time, about how you look, about how other guys go for you -- he's probably scared to death....
2007-03-22 07:13:42 · answer #6 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont know what his problem is. Screw video games if I had a hot wife like what you sound like I would be all over her. I wold take that over hours of video games any day.
2007-03-22 05:46:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, S&M I have not had it in 3 years and I don't know what to do either
2007-03-22 10:02:01 · answer #8 · answered by Pink 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him how you feel. Stress can take the romance out of anything.
Good Luck
2007-03-22 05:40:38 · answer #9 · answered by ~ Just Me ~ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound like you fool of yourself. Sometimes that is a huge turn off.
2007-03-22 05:42:19 · answer #10 · answered by BK thang 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋