How to get rid of pent-up anger?

Question

Unfortunately I am forced to be part of a surrounding where I find some people often behave in a surprisingly stupid way. I have faced problem due to their inefficiency and stupidity. The problem is most of the time I remain angry to such an extent that I have lost mental peace. Can anybody guide me how to get myself adjusted in such a society? I am ambitious and expect everybody to be sincere in his/her duty--but this is India and you know you have to suffer because of their insincerity--I am sure every Indian has lots of experiences (in West Bengal particularly). Most of my friends also face same situations as I do but they do not seem to go mad even though they are aware that many malpractices exist here. Why is my reaction not like theirs? What is the secret of their mental peace? I am not arrogant at all. Is it wrong to expect that everybody will be fair and courteous to me? I hope you understand my problem. Please suggest some methods to get rid of this problem.

Answer 1

Try yelling at a tree.. Works for me and it can't yell back....

Answer 2

Some common-sense tactics for reducing anger-

1) Delay
2) Distraction
3) Relaxation
4) Incompatible Response

Answer 3

Pent up anger is from unresolved issues. You have a laundry list of things that you feel are unjust. It is in this injustice that you find hardship in dealing with. I think your problem is one of expectation. You expect people to be fair to you. You expect kindness. You expect a certain way of treatment and when disappointed you’re very angry. You need to decide what it is that you can and cannot live with. What parts of the life you currently have can you change? If you cannot change that which incorporates this injustice then you have to accept that is the way it is going to be no matter how you feel or what you do. You cannot expect that the world’s people will treat any given circumstance the exact way that you would. To expect such luxuries will leave you in your wake of disappointment.

Answer 4

The simplest way to get rid of pent -up anger is "dont pent-up anger"

my answer sounds funny but its true.

the reason u have pent-up anger is ur expectations about other people being fair and curteous, yes its unfair to expect life would be fair.

and when u exptectations r not met u feel hurt and angry.

when somebody does wrong to u dont just pent it up, express it then and there. voice urself then and there.

Answer 5

Choose your battles wisely my friend. You don't want to become a bitter, lost soul who is consumed by one trivial issue after another, the world already has too many of those. Besides, anger is nothing more then a WEAK minded persons, imitation of being strong. Angry people are so funny, they truly make me laugh. Their actions just broadcast how scared they are, and have no control over their emotions.

Answer 6

I know exactly what you are talking about. Dealing with this problem isn't easy and I think you have to be dedicated to solving it. Some solutions could be weight lifting, boxing, karate, kickboxing, listening to soothing music (or rough if your prefer), swimming, reading, movies, various sports, etc. I think one of the most important things is to make time just for you. It's not selfish, everyone needs their own personal space, or just need to be around people when it's not work related. Hope this helps some!

Answer 7

The only thing you can change is yourself, when you start thinking about other people and how they "should" be, you might as well beat your head against the wall. Peace is inside. When you see the good in you, automatically you will see the good in everyone.. I have a friend from India and he says the same things you are saying, what really gets him thinking is when I tell him, "You are taking it personally! Why in the world would you allow someone else to make you feel? You are in charge of your own thoughts and emotions, smile and be happy that you have power, power over YOU!"
Namaste!

Answer 8

when ur not mentally satisfied in a place move out but as ur forced to be thr adjust . whn u can go against the wind go with it. chill and behave as others if u want to survive thr. otherwise try putting a rubber band in ur hand and whenever angry pull the band so it hurts u and it would remind u not to get angry coz its of no use

Answer 9

Use a physical outlet other than
abuse to others.
Try mowing the lawn
Twice.

Answer 10

How to Get Rid of Anger
There are different views on how to get rid of anger. Here are a few steps to help take off the edge.

Steps
Scream into a pillow.
Draw a picture of the person you are mad at and rip it into pieces.
Dance or listen to music.
Kick your soccer ball into a tree or shed. Pretend it's the person you are really mad at.
Write in your diary, or try some reading.
Count to ten, then take deep breaths. You can repeat this, if you have to.
Better yet, take deep breaths, and count them to ten. Then do it again.
Consider the good points about the person who makes you mad.
Breathe.
Go do some kind of physical activity.
Throw a fit (without anyone else around). Scream and stomp and throw yourself on the floor if you want. Bite a pillow, punch a pillow, throw it against the wall.
Listen to some soothing music, or a favorite song.
Lay down
Talk to them calmly and tell them how you feel.
Draw a funny picture about the person you're angry at!
Write a story that uses the emotions you are experiencing.
Think of something completely different.



Tips
Make sure that when you talk to them, your body language shows that you are calm enough to talk it out.
Make sure that when you kick the soccer ball, you are outside and not near any breakables or plants (just so you don't get into any more trouble).
Beat something up i.e. pillow, punching bag, anything! (As long as it's not alive...)
Consider the reason you're angry, and try focusing that rage into doing something about it. Try fixing the source of your anger.
For anger in general, try reading texts like the Tao Te Ching of Taoism or the Dharmapada of Buddhism. These include interesting and logical suggestions about the roots of anger and how to prevent it.
Try looking into calming activities like Tai Chi, Yoga, or meditation.



Warnings
Hitting or punching a tree can result in bodily injury.
Try not to spaz out at all to avoid this mess.





How to Control Your Anger
Controlling your anger isn't easy. Here are some instructions on how you can keep it in check.

Steps
Breathe. When we become angry, our breathing pattern becomes short and shallow. Focus on taking breaths with a shorter intake (4-5 sec) and a longer outtake (6-7 sec). This increases the oxygen content in the blood by alowing more CO2 to escape, therefore allowing you to think more clearly.
Find the "purpose" of why you get angry. Most of the times there is no need to be angry.
Look at the situation from other person's perspective. Get their view before you jump to conclusions.
Look at the effects of your anger on the other person. It spoils their mood, upsets, frightens, and demotivates the other person.
Count reverse from ten to zero till you get back to your senses.
Take a short intake long outake breath. Then another.
Leave and give yourself a "time out."
Identify what you enjoy doing most. It could be painting, reading, exercising, or just shopping. Just involve yourself in it.



Tips
If you feel anger taking over, remove yourself from the situation before things become too heated.
Recognize that sometimes anger is justified, and may need to come out. However, realize that there are productive ways to do it instead of lashing out at others.
Be diplomatic or make a witty comment, instead of just yelling. This way, if the other person overreacts, it makes you look good and them look bad.
Ask yourself if the future recipient of your furor deserves to be blown up at, or if you are just using them as a punching bag to release steam about another person/issue that bothers you.
Sometimes, instead of talking to someone directly, it is more appropriate to write a letter.
Taking yoga can be a long-term solution to anger problems, allowing you to focus on your feelings and release your stress.
If at all possible, remove yourself from the situation. It's amazing the difference 8-hours of sleep or a 5-minute walk can make. Time gives you distance from the issue, allowing you to put things into prespective.
Find a creative outlet, such as writing, drawing etc. where you can expend your energy. Hobbies help elevate your mood and allow you to channel energy that you'd usually spent dwelling on issues that you aren't able to resolve. Imagine what you could do with the energy you expend in anger if you channelled it into something else.
There is a difference between controlling anger and holding it in until later. If you are unable to avoid feelings of anger, try to release your bottled up feelings later in positive forms like art, exercise, or some other hobby.
Try thinking of stuff that you are thankful for. The more specific, the better. You can't be truly angry and thankful at the same time.
Meditation is a useful way to release stress and/or anxiety which are often prerequisites to anger. Do not meditate when you are angry, as this could have a negative effect on your anger. Instead, meditate when you hav calmed down and are in complete control of your thoughts and emotions.



Warnings
If you feel like you lose control when you're angry, seek psychological help.
Anger is never, ever an excuse to strike out at or abuse (physically or verbally) the people around you.





How to Calm Down

Anger can be taken out on anything...We're humans. And when we are stressed, depressed, or mad, we don't know what to do. Here's how to cope with strong emotions and calm yourself down.






Steps
Gently and quietly Breathe through your nose and back out through your mouth as long as you're angry or disturbed. If you feel light headed, slowly stop. However, if you are very emotional and breathing too fast, use a paper lunch bag to breathe into to slow your system down.
Shake your shoulders to release tension.
Lay down in a safe place. Close your eyes and Listen to slow music to take your mind off the emotional pressure. Let all tension in your forehead, neck and hands fade away slowly. Imagine every part of your body relaxing. Start with your head and move to your toes.
Take a piece of paper to write logically about what has happened and list steps of action to sort it out properly.After you write it down, throw it away by shredding. It's a symbol for throwing away those feelings you just want to get out.
Take time to privately relax, meditate, or pray. Great peace comes through purposely focusing on quieting one's being without worrying about distractions of the world.
Squeeze a stress ball at least 50 times, if you have any, if you don't you could use a sponge instead.
Take a walk outside alone. Go to a store or the park or even in your backyard! A good breath of fresh air always feels good.
Hit SOMETHING, not SOMEONE! Kick your sofa or punch a pillow, never a person or animal.



Tips
Good advice for when you are jealous, angry, annoyed, or even hyper active!
If you can not control your emotions at all, seek professional help through a psychologist.
Ask your employer to offer anger management courses if you work in a stressful environment.



Warnings
Be very steady and think twice before you do anything in haste. Calm is steadiness.
Be careful not to take out this anger on anybody. You'll regret it once you are back to feeling good.