What should i do with my 11 year old daughter who doesn't like my girlfriend?

Answer 1

you cant do anything. this is just the way your daughter will feel. you cant make her like someone.

Answer 2

WHY doesn't your daughter like your girlfriend? Have you sat down and asked her why?
She may feel that you having a girlfriend is stopping you from spending time with you alone? Or maybe she feels that you wont get back with her Mum (sorry don't know the details) or that she was the cause of the split.
Have you done things together all 3 of you? Is your girlfriend okay with your daughter?
I think you need to talk to your daughter don't you?

I am not suggesting you split with your girlfriend as your daughter may not like ANY girlfriend of yours (is it a possessiveness thing)

Answer 3

It's a very difficult age your Daughter is at,in my experience you can't really do much-just try to have quality time not only with your girlfriend seperately but also your child,so there is no reason for her to be jealous, also arrange a few activities that the 3 of you can do together-maybe a day trip out somewhere,or bowling,cinema,fairground etc..try and step back a bit & give the girls chance to get to know each other better.

Answer 4

Have you asked your daughter why she doesn't like her.The other way is getting them into a room together and asking open answered questions to both of them.Find out the cause of it even if it leads to a big arguement.
It's either that of try some bonding time all together like games and outing with both you and your partner.Get your partner more involed in your daughters life.Find a common interest eg make up, music, books etc.

Answer 5

Just keep trying. These things have a way of sorting themselves out. I used to hate my step-mother when I was that age. Everyone I knew hated their step-families, in fact. Kids feel threatened by the idea of you starting a new family and forgetting them. As long as you make it clear that you will always be there for her, she will eventually get used to it. It could take a lot of time, but I am sure she will be just fine.

Whatever you do, don't listen to these people telling you to dump your girlfriend! No WAY. If you dump every girl she doesn't like (and believe me, she won't like any of them) then you are letting her dictate your life. Once she figures that out, she will turn into a spoiled little brat, possibly for the rest of her life. Seriously, I know adults who had this kind of control over their parents when they were growing up, and they have NOT turned into pleasant people.

Answer 6

The best advice I can give you is put yourself in her shoes.Just explain to her that life goes on,and it's not like she is trying to take her mothers place.On the other hand remember that she is a child and you are her security.She likely feels that if she has to share you then all her stability goes away.A nice way to handle it would be to take your daughter out to lunch [without your girlfriend]and have a nice peaceful talk with her.Let her say her peas to so she can get it all off her chest,it will make her feel better.And them you can say what you have to say.And then the both of you can come to some kind of agreement.

Answer 7

If your daughter doesn't like her have a talk with your daughter if she still doesn't like her maybe its best if you break it off with your girlfriend. it is better to find someone that both you and your daughter like than to lose your daughter because you like a girl. It is really important to talk to your kid. She needs to understand what is going on in your life. If you have been married before it is going to be hard on your daughter to see you dating someone that is not her mother. She may not be ready for this kind of situation. You also don't want to run into anything to fast. Talk to your daughter and find out why she doesn't like her and explain things to her. Partens don't talk to there kids enough now and so the kids lose touch with there parents. you don't want to lose your daughter so you need to talk to her. I hope everything goes great.

Answer 8

Since your divorced and her mother might not be around she feels confused, naturally she doesnt understand that you have needs and want to be in a realtionship you sit down and tell her as a big girl, that you like this girl and that she is not replacing anyone. Your girlfriend should also put in effort by trying to have girltime. Nail painting, shopping, eating out, and basic family activies so that she sees that this new person can be a good person for everyone.

Answer 9

Your daughter might be like way because she is upset that you are separated with her mother or that she is scared that you might get married with you gf and your gf will be part of her life.

There is nothing you can do about it. We as adults as well as kids have the right to choose who we like and dislike. You should panic about the problem too much now. But later on, when you two really get married and will be a part of your daughter's life, she will have to accept your gf as her step mother and listen to her step mother, whether she likes her or not.

Answer 10

I don't think its a case of what should you do with her, but more of what should you do with both of them! There must be a reason why she doesn't like her, is she trying to be like her mother? I think that you should talk to her and see whats on her mind, and see if there is anyway of them two spending time alone, go out and get to know each other properly without you there. But whatever they do make sure its a fun filled day that they will both enjoy

Answer 11

Encourage them to do things together try to find a common intrest if you only see your daughter at certain times make sure that some of it is spent with you on your own good luck