Is it common for men to just up and leave there wife and unborn or new born baby? has this happen to you? why did he leave? did he come back and is so did you take him back or make him leave?
2007-03-22 04:04:41 · 13 answers · asked by I♥Karma 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Some men freak at the thought of a baby. You need to have a strong relationship before the baby, and the man needs to be responsible. If his frame of mind is too immature, then you will be raising the child by yourself. Regardless of what some people think, having a baby does not make relationships better, but can have quite the opposite effect. You can't force a man to "man up"
2007-03-22 04:12:25 · answer #1 · answered by April 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Common I don't know. I did not happen to me, but to 2 friends of mine.
One friend was cheated when she was pregnant and they officialy got the divorce when the baby was 9 months.. He left for his secretary.. And never came back. It happened about 12 years ago and they did became friends eventually. He has also 2 children with his secretary. I have to add that he went to see a priest at that time, problems with his conscious, you know. And he has never made a problem of supporting my friend. He still pays alimentory, even fo her. But she had very very though years in the beginning.
The other friend was left with a child of 3 and a baby of six months. It happened about 3 years ago and they got a fighting divorce. Big problems. But she would never want him back.
I think that a woman has to be very carefull before taking back a person who drops her being pregnant or having a newborn. It's a very vulnerable moment in a woman's life, emotionally, fysically, in any way and career possibilities also or little, so all that makes you even more depending on a man.
A man getting away with such an act will get an unspoken message he gets away with everything. When you want to go for a second chance, do it with help of counselling or someone trustfull like a priest orso.
Good luck if it's your case.
2007-03-22 11:17:22 · answer #2 · answered by belgium 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes i hate to say it this is happening alot nowadays... This is a very sad but true statistic. I had a guy leave me and we were planning on marrying and he took off within like a week or two of finding out i was pregnant and he never came back to live with me again and he never has seen his daughter even one time except for a picture that someone showed him and he sitill is not wanting to see her. He came back once when i was pregnant just to get his stuff and leave me again. I dont worry about it though as my husband is her daddy and has raised and loved her as his own since she has been two months of age and alomost nine years later he is still her loving daddy so her real father can suck rotten eggs for all i care. It takes a man to be a father and sleep with you one night under the hot sheets to make a baby BUT it takes a REAL man to be a daddy and to be there for you and your child no matter what!
2007-03-22 11:21:59 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This sounds like an insecure, immature person and you can't change that, he has to. If he left once.....
I think you may want to play this out a little before you have to cut your losses and move on. Don't become a "Doormat" for no one though! I'm a married man and have a 1 year old daughter and I couldn't possibly conceive of walking out on my family. Try some family oriented counseling? If he won't take part he isn't interested in changing or resolving his issue(s) and you have to take that into consideration which will have an impact on your decision you'll inevitably have to make. Good luck!
2007-03-22 11:15:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
it really depends on the man and why he left, as to if he will come back. my first ex use to leave all of the time, and return alot, i was younger than and so naive. its not common but does happen sometimes, especially when they are having an affair. it does show u what kind of man u are dealing with, and what is really on his mind. one who leaves a pregnant woman shows his true self when he does things like this.
2007-03-24 21:28:31 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This happened to my best friend. Their daughter was 4 or 5 months old and he just decided to leave. He did try to come back but she had lost all trust and faith in him. They were only married for 10 months
2007-03-22 11:48:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, unfortunately it is common. I didn't happen to me, but it happened to my parents. He left my mother at the age of 16 and 4 months pregnant. My father came back eventually, and they got married, but that was after my brother was born. My father left for about a year. He even went and lived several states away just to escape the situation. UGH!!! MEN!!!
2007-03-22 11:12:28 · answer #7 · answered by Lila 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It depends if you already had problems before the baby. And if you got pregnant on purpose. And if he comes back then thats a sign that he is trying to make things right.
2007-03-22 11:13:06 · answer #8 · answered by My two cents 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This didn't happen to me, but I think it happens pretty often. Having a baby puts a lot of pressure on a strong relationship, so I think that if a relationship is weak to begin with, it's sure to fall apart with the new addition.
2007-03-22 11:09:14 · answer #9 · answered by Trisha 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well my mom's ex did that and he left before he even knew she was pregnant and then he never came back. And then just last year I figured out that he raped her when they were dating and threatened that if she told anyone he would kill her and then she went and lived with my grandparents and my grandma raised me most of the time and me and my mom fight a lot because I kinda look like him and my grandma but nothing like her it's weird.
2007-03-22 11:09:39 · answer #10 · answered by alwaysandforever 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋