My friend has lived with her partner for over 3 years now he has one kid for someone else aged 10yrs he's told her that he as no feeling for this child as he has never been there through out his life and he definitely has no feelings or respect for the mother. However after constant pressure from his grandmother he decided to try and make an effort. Which is where the problems started the girl is clearly very needy, manipulative and very good at it, the guy is one of those people who tries to keep everyone happy and can be naive at times although he will never admit it and claims to have his boundaries up. my friend feels that there is no routine in their arrangement with their child and feels that they are using the child as an excuses to feed their own insecurities, for instance the girl only calls when she wants to go out partying or on holiday for him to take on the responsibility of looking after the child as if to rub it in his face that she’s getting on with her life. she has had her friends call him telling him he needs to take responsibility of his child instead of dealing with it on a 121 basis, She acts as if there all good friends but never calls the land line, only his mobile when he's at work. He claims that it is purely innocent and my friend is overreacting or being insecure this leaves my friend feeling not only powerless of the situation but also treated as though she is second best when it come to their relationship and his Childs mothers.
2007-03-22 03:42:48 · 7 answers · asked by Ladyz7 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Well if my guy had a child with someone he used to be in a relationship with and he didn't take responsibility for that child, I wouldn't want to be with him. You say she only calls when she wants to go out partying, well she's probably had ten years of staying in when all her friends are going out, so I think he needs to think about that.
2007-03-22 03:49:15 · answer #1 · answered by livinfortheweekend 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm a little confused by what you said but I'll go with how I understood it to be: your friend has a boyfriend of 3 years who has a 10 year old son that he doesn't care about? #1, that really shows what a stand up nice guy her boyfriend is (that's horrible to abandon your child) real nice thing for him to say. #2 this mother of the child sounds like a complete psycho and SUPER immature as do all that are involved in this situation. I think that your friend should just cut her losses and move on because this guy sounds like he's bringing the drama and that he's not going to be a very good man or father to her and her children.
2007-03-22 03:59:03 · answer #2 · answered by Jersey Style 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand how this could all be frustrating to your friend, but the fact of the matter is that it's not a bad thing that this guy be in his child's life and the fact that he's trying to do that now (even if there's no formal routine) is a good thing and something she should not stand in the way of. Now that he's made the decision to be in his kid's life, the mom is going to be in the picture as well, whether she likes it or not. She has to decide whether or not she can live with this and trust that her partner isn't going to do anything inappropriate with the mother. If she can't then it's best that they go their separate ways now.
2007-03-22 03:51:05 · answer #3 · answered by Vivita 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well this guy has had 10 years of partying at a moments notice without having to worry that his child is being taken care of, let this girl go out - sounds to me like your friend is pretty jealous now his ex and daughter have come back on teh scene.
2007-03-22 03:53:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
anyone that does not love a child, especially his very own, is one to not waste your life with, He is uncaring, and self centered. As far as the "mother" using him, that is what they do,,take advantage of having a kid, for financial gain. I would suggest asking the friend, if this is the kind of man she wants,,,,some one that does not love his own child????????????? Also does not speak well of her, if she still wants him!
2007-03-25 14:46:53 · answer #5 · answered by Steve C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doae your friend really want to have a relationship with a man who has no feelings for his own child, and only makes the effort to please his grandmother???
2007-03-22 06:50:20 · answer #6 · answered by Heather 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree with Fi....she's absolutely right....
2007-03-22 03:54:28 · answer #7 · answered by Dazzlebox 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋