Pregnant and not sure my boyfriends happy ?

Question

I was told i couldn't have children a few years ago, i met my boyfriend in August last year and love him with all my heart,and i know he loves me. I recently found i'm pregnant but i don't think he's happy, we are both shocked which is understandable what should i do, i really want this baby but i want him to.

I was told i couldn't have children a few years ago, i met my boyfriend in August last year and love him with all my heart,and i know he loves me. I recently found i'm pregnant but i don't think he's happy, we are both shocked which is understandable what should i do, i really want this baby but i want him to.
He already has a daughter by a previous marriage that ended last year, although he sees her every weekend and we go out like a family, i love his daughter and she loves me. I'm 34 years of age and don't think i will ever get this chance again.

Answer 1

I think that your boyfriend is just in deep shock like they always are. Give it some time and his attitude will change. Congratulations and good luck.

Answer 2

He's probably just shocked, as are you. It's entirely up to you, but one thing I would say is that if you've been told you are unable to have children, then this could be the one and only chance you have to have a baby so I would be very careful before you do anything drastic. If you didn't really want it yourself it would be different.

Although you both love each other now, you can't know what's going to happen to your relationship. I loved my fiance with all my heart and he did likewise, or so I thought, but we were divorced within 3 years of our marriage. My boss was left by her husband after over 20 years of marriage. I guess what I'm trying to say is despite our best intentions, relationships come and go but a baby might never come again.

Answer 3

Doesn't anybody bother to get married first and find out if you will stay committed? A baby can put a lot of strain on a relationship. That strain can either squeeze you tighter together or pull you further apart. The key is the relationship between mom and dad. Being in love with each other is not enough. You have to be in love with each other and in love with the relationship, too.

Be a person who loves marriage and marry someone who loves marriage. It is the missing ingredient that results in divorces.

Many outside forces are at work on your/mine/every body's relationship. I have been married many, many years and I can tell you there have been many opportunities for me to have other women, there have been many times where it would have been way easier to quit, there have been many times when my wife had issues that made me miserable and there were times when it was the other way around. The glue that held us together through the worst of times and helped us resist all temptation was our commitment to the marriage. It is bigger and more important than the two of us individually.

Thank goodness that when I come back from being an a-hole there is still someone there to apologize to.


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Answer 4

I am 9 weeks pregnant, this is my 2nd baby, but my boyfriend's first, and I found out on Valentines day, just 4 days short of our 1 year anniversary. Although my boyfriend is really happy about our baby, he doesn't say anything at all unless I bring it up. This really worried me at first, until I sat him down after he'd come back from the pub (he always talks better when he's had a beer) and asked him why it seemed he wasn't interested, and he told me it was basically because he doesn't know what he's talking about and doesn't want to sound daft. Good luck!!

Answer 5

You have just learned that you are pregnant and your boyfriend has learned that he needs to use a condom even if the woman he is with says she is on birth control or otherwise infertile.

He is not your husband. Short of him telling you today that he loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you and the tike, you must make this decision alone. With input from boyfriend, family and other friends, but ultimately by yourself. Because you are the only one who seems interested in committing to this child. Do not make your decision with the idea that he will change. Make the decision with the idea that the main lesson that he has gotten out of this is that he should have used a condom. If he changes-fine--just don't count on it or expect it.

I'm not sure why doctors tell women they can't have babies. I have known too many incidents in which it turned out not to be true. The better thing to say is that the odds are small, but people play the lottery on smaller odds every day.

Part of committing to a baby is putting anyone who isn't similarly committed in second place, third place, etc. BF does not have the luxury of taking a lot of time here. And you don't need anyone who can't deal the facts as presented.

Good luck.

Answer 6

Don't give that child up for anything! If you lose the guy, then he isn't worth it. You are being given a VERY special gift (even more special than most because you were told you couldn't!). Most men do go through a time of shock, I believe that is how most of them react in the begining. If he is a decent guy he'll come around in a week or so. You have the baby and spoil it rotten! At the very least give the guy a bit of time to adjust and then sit down and have a heartfelt conversation with him.

Answer 7

Well the two of you have only been together for 7 months I can understand his shock. As far as him being happy, I think he will come around. You love him and he loves you I think things will work themselves out. Right now the two of you just need to have a talk about the changes your going to go through as well as what emotions he is going to go through. My husband and I were only together for 4 months and oops I got pregnant. Wasn't something I wanted right then but things worked out. 5 years later we are married and I'm pregnant with our 3rd baby. We are very happy so I think you and your b/f can work things out too. Good Luck and congrats!!

Answer 8

You both just need some time to accept this life changing situation... talk to him and make sure that this is what he wants... if its not what he wants but is what you want then maybe you two weren't meant to be together. Having children is a blessing even though you may have not been quite ready-can you imagine how you would feel 10 - 15 years from now if you still couldn't have children?!?

Answer 9

I am sure this will have to grow on him. Give him time to sort things out in his head. Soon as he sees that little belly growing and feeling the kicks .. he will come around and realize that this is a good thing. Don't force him into anything at the moment.. it will only scare him more. But in a few weeks start asking him to help you pick some things out for baby.. and make him involved with everything you can. This is a huge life changing event and will take time to grow on you and him. Don't make any harsh decisions and this child is coming to you 2 for a reason!! Good luck.

Answer 10

He may be unhappy because your relationship is still somewhat new. You havn't been able to be with each other just as a couple for very long. I am no way condoning his behavior but more trying to provide an explanation. Try to include in him a lot of the baby stuff. Schedule your ultrasound and have him come in with you and once he see's that baby and realizes that it is his, he should be thrilled. A lot of guys are skeptical about everything until he sees the baby. Then all his fears go away and he realizes that he is going to be a daddy. :)

Answer 11

Look this could be your only chance at having a baby so I think you should go for it. There's so many people out there being told they can't have children and having to go through IVF etc and would do anything to be in your shoes.

If your boyfriend is understanding and loves you then he'll be fine and if not then maybe he wasn't what you thought after all.

Good luck.