The reason I ask is that it is only like once every two months for us....dh has been very understanding up until last night because I am breastfeeding. My son is seven months old.
I feel bad for him, but I am just not in the mood.
2007-03-22 02:31:13 · 19 answers · asked by ? 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
I would say it is time to get the spark back. Men have a NEED to have that release every 72 hours. I have an adopted 6 month old and a foster 3 month old and my hubby and I still light the fire about 3 times a week. The first month of being parents we didn't at all, but then I realized I was holding out on him for something that he needed, and I also realized how much I missed that connection with him.
2007-03-22 02:36:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
My husband and I waited three weeks, but it killed us! It was probably way too soon, but we did it anyway. Now that my son is 10 months, we have sex about four times a month. Not often, but more than what you're having. I nurse too, and am still in the mood. Maybe you're focusing too much on the baby. I'm not chastising you because sometimes, the last thing on your mind is having sex, even if you want to.
My suggestion would be to have someone babysit for a few hours. Go to dinner, and then have a little rendezvous. You can express some milk in advance if you're worried, but at seven months, your son shouldn't be completely dependent upon you for food. Good luck. Make some time for romance. You both deserve it.
2007-03-22 09:38:23 · answer #2 · answered by Stephene 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
after my first child, we still had sex about 1 a week. After having my third child, maybe once every couple of months. Sad, I know. I feel the same way. They go to work. We take care of children all day long. Their is no mood setting at all. I have felt bad for my husband too. So as soon as the kids are sleeping, I just tell him let's do it. Which I thought would be weird. Although it turns out he liked it, and for me it was better than sitting around waiting for the rite time, or waiting to get in the mood. I would suggest trying it. If you love him, just try to suck it up, and do it. Maybe that will get you back on track.
2007-03-22 12:00:27 · answer #3 · answered by lilyanna_amora 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand the idea that you need to accomodate him and basically have sex for his sake! People act like men deserve regular sex and if they don't get it then you're a bad partner/wife.
Your husband should be understanding that you're exhausted and not in the mood. If he wants sex he should make it special for YOU too. Let him know that you would love to be intimate more often, but would appreciate if he would take part in the planning. Ask him to set up the babysitter, get the wine and candles, break out the massage oil. Sex is not all about and strictly for the man...the woman can enjoy too. I also think that if men put a little more effort into the seduction and foreplay then a lot more sex would happen.
Good luck!
2007-03-22 11:02:39 · answer #4 · answered by LittleRoo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am going to tell you the best advice I got when I had my first child. My sister-in-law said, " Just remeber why this beautiful baby is here. Remeber who helped you make this baby and why." Everytime I am not in the mood whether it is from the 2 kids driving me crazy or I am so tired from dealing with the day to day crap I think of that. You need to take the time and appreciate that your man is there and that he has been very understanding for the past 7 months!!!!!
Take the extra step and make a night of it. Get a babysitter and go out. Remeber what made you smile, things he did that made you shiver!!! And if you are saying, "I am breastfeeding I can't leave!" Go out and purchase a pump, if you don't have one already. Remember the you need to keep your relationship strong and your husband happy, to a degree, for your marriage to run smoothly.
2007-03-22 09:41:03 · answer #5 · answered by smr122179 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
having sex when new born baby is in the house and breastfeeding him is not a problem you just have to put your son in his own room which will be close to yours or if you don't want to get seperate from your son during the night because your tired to walk in anther room to feed him to get back your mood again you should tell your husband to help you to change the baby when he's home ,you're not in the mood because you're doing all house wok alone and breastfeeding always make new mom to get tired.somewhere you're a little bit upset for not being help that 's why you're not in the mood and not having sex.you've got to talk to your husband and ask him for help because he could think that you're keeping your distance because of your son .he also have sexual needs ...when he helps you ,you will get more time to get some rest and you'll always be in the mood for him.good luck.
2007-03-23 03:50:05 · answer #6 · answered by emma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HIYA.. We waited til my c-section scar was feeling better, about 1 month, but after my daughter was born 3yrs ago we did it about a 1/2 weeks after. hubby was very understanding bout my scar this time round! well i have a 3yr old n have a 17 week old. we have sex maybe 2/3 times week...as my hubby works so hard he is so tired when he comes home? When was the last time u and ur hubby had time on ur own 2 be intimate or go out together on ur own. everybody needs time 2 get their body's back and time alone. i was only saying this 2 my hubby the other day. i am a mum of 2, a wife. just want some time out 2 be myself if i can remember who i am(after having 2 children)
2007-03-22 10:21:42 · answer #7 · answered by dimples 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Completely normal. I have to make a conscience effort and we're still at about twice a month. It does get slightly better around a year... It has alot to do with hormones... i think too much estrogen and too little progesterone?
I found that a glass of wine helps alot(after baby goes to sleep!) and making an effort to actually put my make-up on and do my hair and put on a short skirt... you know, whatever makes you feel good!
Just pick a night and commit to it... weekend afternoons durring naptime are always great too! In the morning after the baby wakes up.. bring him to your hubby and then go sleep in. You will be well rested and your hubby will be willing and eager to take him again the next weekend. Its win-win.
2007-03-22 10:14:06 · answer #8 · answered by Mommy to David 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
In my experience, breastfeeding takes a lot out of me.I feel like i have one latched on to me why would I want another. I had my hubby read about breastfeeding read articles to him about so he understood what i was going through. Maybe you can have a date night once a week or every 2 weeks just so you can be alone. Not to have sex, but just so he knows you still love him.
2007-03-22 11:10:56 · answer #9 · answered by Spring loaded horsie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you know, sometimes you just need that "jump start" know what I mean? you may not be interested until he does a little bit to get you interested. You owe it to yourself and your husband to still have that quality time together.. even if it is during nap time on his lunch break.. get it when you can. My son is 2 1/2 and we still fight to have time together. We went from once ever 2 months to about twice a month though.. but I'm working on that.
Even if it is not for the physical connection, do it for the emotional. You are not just known as mom right now.. you still are the woman your husband fell in love with. Don't forget your identity and your needs because of your child. Make time for both the mom side of you, and the woman side of you.
2007-03-22 09:40:32 · answer #10 · answered by TrixyLoo 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋