My boyfrnd of 7 mnths told me I can't meet his 5 yr old daughter until his baby momma gets a man. He pays child support but not through the court. Him and his ex agreed he would pay a certain amount. He told his ex about three months ago that he had a girlfrnd and she was "hurt." Even though she was the one that broke up with him and it had been a year since. It infuriates me that we cant incorporate his child into our relationship. It is a serious relationship and I believe him when he says he's in love with me but he's scared that his ex will not let him to see the kid. I think he's letting her play a bigger part in his life than she should. I already told him that I do not agree with it and it bothers me and he said he loves me and it does not matter how long it takes for me to meet his son, eventually things will work out. It's something I think about b/c what if it's a year into our relationship and I still have not met the most important person in his life? What do I do now?
2007-03-22 02:31:07 · 9 answers · asked by mandysmith789 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Sorry, it's daughter. I'm just all confused and stressed about this. I was writing so fast. I do think that he should take her to court but what can/should I do? Is this something worth arguing over about? Should I let it be? I guess I need advise on what I can do to better the situation. Thanks.
2007-03-22 02:42:51 · update #1
He has to go to court and sue for joint legal custody. This way, she cannot refuse to let him associate with his daughter.
The way its being handled now is just a disaster waiting to happen.
2007-03-22 02:36:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be patient with your boyfriend if you really love him.
It can be difficult for a child to live with parents who are separated, and especially young children can easily become attached when there is a new person in their life (especially if it is a kind young woman who is excited to meet them). Introducing your child to your significant other is a BIG event for the family, and it is not to be taken lightly. You wouldn't want to let your child get attached to one woman only to end up breaking up within the year (not to say that will necessarily happen with you). What if there was a series of women over the next ten years, and the child became attached to each one in turn? By the time you find the right woman, maybe the child will no longer be able to connect with your new spouse. Or maybe he will not be able to properly connect in his future relationships.
It is a smart thing to recognize that your relationship with the woman may not last as long as your relationship with the child and to proceed with caution. If you two have been together for two years, and are talking about marriage, and you still haven't met his son, then maybe you will have a problem, but be patient in the meantime and try to understand where he's coming from.
2007-03-22 03:31:45 · answer #2 · answered by tertiahibernica 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't get it? why do you have to WAIT to meet his daughter 'till SHE has a man?? Make's NO sense!Why should he care,to accomidate her?? If he has visit's(?) w/ this child, why can't you meet her w/ him?? Sorry, but, I've had my own experiense w/ custody issue's& I don't think he's telling you everything-Be careful,you've only known him 7mths. & that's not alot of time to really now what someone's all about-H***, wene I left my EX. I found out HE was married to an illegal for 4 mths. BEFORE we (so called) got married, & i KNEW him for 3 years!!!I had a child w/ this idiot to top it all off!!! I love my girl, don't get me wrong-best thing that came of it ,but, you really need to investigate more about his, so called, arrangment! Good luck!!
2007-03-22 06:06:36 · answer #3 · answered by mgle3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is probably just trying to protect his daughter, not the mother.
He probably doesn't want his daughter getting attached to you, then you guys end up breaking up a few months down the road. Let him set the pace, he is looking out for his #1, his baby girl.
2007-03-22 02:39:55 · answer #4 · answered by hello 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is allowing this woman to manipulate him through his daughter. The only way around it (as I see it) is, he needs to go to the court house and seek joint custody. This way, his ex will have no power over him.
2007-03-22 02:48:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend needs to get a custody order in place. You say 5 yr. old daughter then later say son which is it?
2007-03-22 02:37:10 · answer #6 · answered by mnwomen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These are all his decisions and you need to stay out of it. They are the parents and they will make the decisions for their child. If you can't handle being on the side lines when it concerns the child you need to walk.....
2007-03-22 02:56:26 · answer #7 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get mad at him for not letting you meet his kid..that's pretty serious and he probaly don't wanna bring just anybody around...has to make sure you're aorund to stay. Don't say "well you won't let me meet him so you don't trust me". guilt trips are for losers.
2007-03-22 02:54:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
* Tell him you want to meet his son if not then he doesnt trust you *
2007-03-22 02:43:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋