So relationship issues are always the fault of the husband?

Question

Many of you say that feeling neglected and unloved justifies a wife's cheating, but if I feel unloved and unappreciated, it's suggested that I seek counselling, or show my wife that I appreciate her more. Isn't that a bit of a double standard?

Why shouldn't I cheat if I feel my needs aren't being met?

Answer 1

NO...I disagree, it is not always the husband's fault. That is part of the problem with America and it's society, we are emasculating our men and then blaming them for everything. If this situation were reversed, and you can check a lot of my other answers, I frequently suggest to women who are complaining about their men, to read Dr. Laura's book, the Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. I suggest that they try a different approach than nagging and whining and being negative to their husbands, so YES, I would suggest to you, to be more appreciative and loving toward your wife to see if that didn't get you what you were missing. ALSO, read the book and then give it to your wife....there's also a companion book called The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage.

Answer 2

When you got married, didn't you say anything on the lines of "for better or for worse???" That includes whatever negligence you are getting from your wife. Cheating is wrong, period, whether its the wife or the husband. If you really feel that bad I suggest that you:

1 Talk to your wife about it (talk about your feelings. I know you men find it hard to do this but give it a try)
2 Found out how your wife feels (Maybe she is feeling the same as you)
2 Get counsel ling TOGETHER
3 Do more stuff together
4 If all else fails file for a divorce

If it were the other way, I am sure you wouldn't like your wife to cheat on you, don't cheat on her

I wish you all the best. Good luck

Answer 3

Relationship issues aren't always the fault of the husband (just usually, lol). Seriously though . . . why would you even want to cheat? Are you referring to your sexual needs, emotional needs, or something else? If that is the case I would work on communicating your needs effectively with your spouse. You will probably find that greater understanding and more effective communication between the two of you will be very rewarding and will bring you closer together. You need to try to recapture what you feel you have lost - try to remember how and why you fell in love with her in the first place. This has to be a two-way street though, too - she has to want to make it work, make the changes required, and feel that it's worth it. It's not a matter of you just telling her 'I'm not getting enough!'. You need to reconnect and she has to really realize how important sexually connecting is for a man. Most women are so overtaxed that sex is put on a back burner and her own desires are just shoved out of the way. Even the 'pampered housewife' (these don't really exist, lol) has a lot more on her plate than most men realize. You have to try to see things from her point of view, too, and be willing to make just as many changes as she does. If you are met with resistance it is probably because she doesn't realize the scope of how these things are affecting you.
BTW - I would give the same advice to a woman as I would a man. I know women cheat on their husbands, too, and I don't condone it no matter what your gender or situation is. There are always better options than cheating or divorce - with the exceptions being cases of physical/chemical abuse, children in the household being abused or neglected (in any way), etc.

Answer 4

Well am not married but i could understand feeling neglected could lean towards unfaithfulness, but that does not justify it at all, if your not happy in your relationship try and fix it, if you cant resolved the issues then leave the relationship there is no need for two people to be unhappy.

Than you could move on to another relationship with out having to cheat, because if you get caught cheating this justifies your wife talking half or all of your belongings.

Answer 5

No, I don't know who you are listening to, but many people on Yahoo! Answers have a few screws loose. While feeling neglected and unloved may explain why a wife cheated it does not justify her actions. Pretending that a spouses actions are anyone's responsibility other than said spouse is just plain stupid. People need to take personal responsiblity, but that's not as fun as cheating...in their minds anyway.

Answer 6

Nothing justifies cheating, on either side. However, people usually cheat because they're unhappy in the marriage and see no way out of it, or because they don't have the courage to get out of it themselves. Which one are you?

It's funny how married people will tell everybody else how unhappy they are, but they won't tell their spouses. If you're unhappy in the marriage, sit down with your wife and tell her you're unhappy. Be specific. If you feel unloved, tell her that. At least give your wife this opportunity to work things out with you, before you start cheating on her. If things aren't working after that, have the courage to leave.

Answer 7

I didn't realize it was OK for a wife to cheat. My husband suffered terrible PTSD from combat experiences and horribly verbally and emotionally abused me during the first few years of our marriage, and I didn't cheat. I would ask him to just go out for a pizza with me and he would say that he didn't have time for me, there would be some couple time for us in about 20 years when the kids are on the way out of the house. Meanwhile, he was going drinking with his friends and he didn't have to tell me anything about when he was coming home because he brought home a paycheck (I work, too, by the way). Yet I remained faithful. I do see your point, though. Some women do excuse cheating my saying their husband's aren't attentive, and I think it's crap. My buddy is going through a divorce right now because his wife cheated b/c he didn't pay enough romantic attention to her and he cheated because he thinks she's fat. Why do so many men excuse themselves for cheating because they aren't sexually attracted to their wives anymore? Both situations are ridiculous and inexusable.

Answer 8

Nothing justifies cheating. If you are not satisfied with your relationship, fix it or get out of it. I think you are over estimating the number of people who would think that cheating is OK. My suggestion is that you talk to your wife and if that doesn't help then go to counseling together. I would give the same advise to a female in your situation.

Answer 9

No, if there are issues.It is the fault of both people in the relationship.And anyone whom says that it is o.k. to cheat.Would find a fault in their spouse no matter how good a person they were.Because they are wanting to find reasons to make it o.k. that they are or are going to cheat.And they need someone Else to blame to make themselves feel better about doing something they know is wrong.All of these woman on this site asking questions.On if this or that is a good enough reason to cheat on their spouses.Are doing just that making excuses to make themselves feel better about being morally bankrupt and cheating on their spouses.If they didn't already know it was wrong they wouldn't bother asking other peoples opinions on it.If they thought it was right to do to their men they would just go out and do it.

Answer 10

Nobody says relationship issues are always the fault of the husband. What I am thinking is. Whenever either side feel his/her needs are being met, what they should do is 'communicate'. There is no excuse for cheating wether it's the wife or the husband. You cheat then you are LOUSY. That's just it.