help no sex drive?

Question

please help.. after having 4 children i have no sex drive at all...my husband and i are fighting all the time over it...we have tryed alot of things but nothing...all i want to do is sleep, love him to bits dont want to lose him over this....its all my doing... any ideas people??????????

am only 24, just had a baby 11months ago

Answer 1

OH MY GOD! i can't beleive some of the sh'itty answers you've had! Look at the end of the day sex isn't the most important thing and your man needs to realise you got a lot on your plate and your not a machine. Ask him to have some patients and if he helped you out with the kids a bit more then maybe you would have a little more energy and willing to show him some lovin. At the end of the day nothing is a bigger turn of than a man sulking cos he aint getting enough! so it aint all your fault at all huni! x

Answer 2

Wow - you are a busy beaver. 4 kids and you are only 24? You are not going to gain your drive back without allowing your body to recuperate. You need to be getting 7 to 8 hours sleep every night, making sure you are eating properly, and exercising lightly every day. Start by getting a full check-up with your doctor and talk to him/her about what you are going through.
There are some dietary changes you can make that may help short-term. Evening primrose oil will help get your hormones back in order (use the gelcaps - the liquid form tastes terrible! - and start out at a low dosage -say 500 ius for the first week and then bump up to 1000 the next. You shouldn't need more than that). If you are breastfeeding make sure you okay this with your doctor/pediatrician. Work out a deal with your husband. He helps out with the kids more (if he doesn't already) so you get more/better sleep in return for an assurance that he gets sex on a routine basis (work out a schedule with allowances made for kids being sick, you being sick, etc.). Make sure it's not robotic - it can be on a 'date' night, kids shipped off to relatives, etc.
Reassure him that you love him and it's not that you don't want sex but your body has been through a lot. That will go a long way toward helping him understand. Also make an agreement not to fight about it. Effective communication will go a long ways toward you both feeling better about your relationship and the stresses that go with it. Get counseling - professional or through a pastor, etc. - if you feel you have trouble communicating with one another without fighting or yelling. That will be a great gift for your children as well, and teach them that communication is key to most things in life.

Answer 3

First of all it isnt all your doing. Being a mother of 4 children myself I understand where you are coming from. Sometimes at the end of the day we are just too tired for sex after working, taking care of the kids, cooking, laundry, etc. Having 4 children also takes a toll on our bodies so your husband needs to try to be more understanding..after all he wasnt the one who carried the pregnancies or went through childbirth. If you feel it could be something other than just being tired from a hectic day speak with your doctor. There are medications that can help but I think you would be more into having sex with your husband if you two werent fighting about it. I know I wouldnt want to be intimate with my husband if he and I were fussing over me being tired and not having the sex drive I once had. Try asking hubby to put the kids to bed one night a week while you pamper yourself with a hot bubble bath and you may be surprised how replenished you feel when you have an hour that you can devote to YOU. Good luck and God bless!

Answer 4

Goodness ,24 and 4 kids - no wonder you don't feel like sex.

Do you still get turned on watching movies or reading sexy books (you probably don't get much chance to do either with 4 kids around)? Do you find you just have absolutely no interest in it at all or is it interest in your partner tht is lacking? Or are you feeling 'horny' at times of the day when he is not there?

If all you want to do is sleep and you never feel like sex at all you need to talk to your GP - this could be very mild depression especially after so many kids so quick. OR it could just be pure physical exhaustion - no-body wants to have sex when they are just plain knackered - but your GP will be able to tell you which it is - if either of those.

A holiday without the kids would be a good place to start - a bit of R&R for you and your partner. It doesn't have to be expensive - just time for yourselves.

Do you think part of it might be that in your sub-conscious you are worried about becomming pregnant again? Would either of you consider a longer term/permanent form of contraception to help allay any fears you have in that direction?

I think you need to tell us a bit more - so that we can help you work out what might be happpening to you or talk to your GP/health visitor.

Answer 5

Try the website down below!

I found out yesterday I have a thyroid problem. Which can cause you to not loose weight the way you should, Hair loss, sleepyness, depression, and a whole bunch of other stuff. I just started having problems with it after I had my son like in November. Talk to your doc and have him run some test to see what might be wrong. It could be a number if things. I know now I am horny now more that ever before in my life I want it every day. But that comes from the extra hormones my thyroid puts out. Yours could be doing the oppisite. Im not saying it is your case. But really check with the doc and visit this website!!!!
I hope maybe this helps!!!!!!!

Answer 6

All your doing? Honey you have four kids, work is pretty tough looking after them. Having them in the next room is not the greatest thing to think about to turn you on when you go to bed. (Hubby should be doing that bit anyway). Maybe you need a night away together to rekindle your love and passion for each other. Although that can put presure on you to have to 'do it' while you are away. talk to each other let him know how you feel and see what he says. Its hard to find the time and the mood for sex when you have kids and other jobs to do. He should be a bit more understanding especially if you talk to him. If he loves you he should understand and give you space, and help the situation. Good luck. xx

Answer 7

Oh honey. . .you must be so stressed. You have 4 children - that's a lot of work, of course you just want to sleep. It's not all your doing either, there are two people in this relationship. Try spending some quiet time together - once the kids are in bed - try having a relaxing bath, sharing a bottle of wine, massage, I'm sure once your feeling really relaxed you'll feel better. You really, really need to spend some 'us' time - once you feel closer it'll all come good.

Good luck - feel better.

Answer 8

Four kids takes a lot of energy to raise. I have six.
Of course the sex drive diminishes due to lack of energy!
I told my ex once. Notice I said it once. If you helped me around the house some. I wouldn't be so tired at bed time.
My day started at 5 am. I had laundry, cleaning, cooking, doctors appointments, putting kids on the school bus, getting kids off the school bus, kids home work to help with, wash the car, mow the lawn, grocery shopping, cleaning up messes after every one, including my husband. My day ended at 9 pm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And then I had to get up in the night with a baby!
You tell me how a person would have a sex drive! LOL
Ask your Mom, sister or a neighbor to help you out once in a while. It does wonders just to get to sit in a hot tub at night.

Answer 9

the male hormone implant will definitely help and it is so much fun. It lasts about 6 months and cannot be removed once inserted under the skin. Well worth it if you love the man do it for his sake. Suprise suprise you may find that it's good for you as well. Also do it for the kids. This way everyone is happier so go to it. You need a doctor's referral to a gynaecologist. The procedure is fairly quick and is not painful so you have no excuse-----for him and for the kids and last but not least for you to be the happy energetic person you used to be !

Answer 10

My spouse's dropped off after each and each youngster, for extra or less 12-18 months, yet picked up gradually and he or she is now plenty extra lively (young toddlers 9 and eight) than till now. She started exercising (working) 3 hundred and sixty 5 days after our 2nd, which will have helped. She's fit than till now (although not aggressive/athletic). The lull after each and each youngster is infamous and blamed for a large style of marital problems (alongside with sleepless nights, no time on my own, and so on.). purely be certain you do not forget approximately to do issues for yourselves, spend time, flow out, destroy one yet another, presents, and so on. preserving up with those romantic issues will make helpful that as quickly as your physique is waiting, you nevertheless love one yet another and prefer to get it on. you will possibly desire to do your ultimate to muster some enthusiasm interior the period in-between.