I have been with my boyfriend for three and a half years and have been mates with him throughout school, we are both 19. He wants a baby and i think that i want a baby. I am just scared of the change and it is such a big step. All of my friend have babys and i would love one. Any advice on how to plan having a baby and how to know that having one is the right decision. Thanks.
2007-03-22 01:52:42 · 19 answers · asked by me 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
If you only "think" you want it, you're not ready. You're still young, there's plenty of time to start a family when you have more experience of life. Wait until you have a home, a steady source of income and a permanent relationship. Children are human beings, not dolls that walk and talk. Once you have it, it's going to be your responsibility, much more than your bf's...he might even disappear when the pressure is really on. Start a new trend--wait till you're actually married.
2007-03-22 02:04:34 · answer #1 · answered by anna 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the person you are at 19, changes to who you are at 21, and even again to 25 and so on. Views change and feeling for people change as you experience more. You may want a baby with him now, but you also said "i think i want". I have friends and family who have had babies this early, some planned some unplanned, that LOVE their children but regret that they missed those times of their lives. If you can not say 100% that you WANT this, then no, it's not the right time.
2007-03-22 09:27:07 · answer #2 · answered by Truth Hurts Get Over It 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This will probably sound a bit mean but I really don't mean it to. Firstly, if you only 'think' you might want one then don't do it just yet. You have plenty of time to be completely sure you want one. And secondly, the fact that you mention that all of your friends have one seems to point to at least part of your motivation for considering this huge step. Having a baby isn't something you should do because your friends all have one. They may love their babies more than anything but I bet they'd give anything to have your kind of freedom back at times. You need to do it because it's right for you.
Also, you're only 19 and when you have a baby you have to think of someone else for ever more and it's morning, noon and night. You should be enjoying a few more carefree and selfish years yet.
2007-03-22 13:40:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, money is the biggest issue in raising a child. Are you both financially strong? If yes, the next question to ask is, are you both ready? To go through the hassles of bringing up a child. Bringing up a child is not a 1 - 2 months or 1 - 2 years courses kinda thing. We are talking about raising him up till like 21 years old? Are you ready for that? If you think the two questions I've raised are not a barrier to both of you, good luck and all the best then.
2007-03-22 08:59:59 · answer #4 · answered by Bun#2 in the oven 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is ask a friend if you could look after their baby over night or for the weekend (some people will be more than grateful for this offer) and see how your patience takes you. Do all the things you would do usually like going out for a meal etc and seeing how different things are with another little one in tow. See how much less time you get to spend with your fella being that the responsibility of looking after a kid takes time away from your partner and yourself!! But thats not to say its all bad, i have one daughter and one on the way and to have one kid i have to say hasnt changed our lives that much, we still do all we would usually but we are looking after every weekend my baby nephew and the difference in having two children is amazing!!!. Are plans after a baby is here going to work out financially etc as in uk u get tax credits but they dont cover all the cost of bringing up that child. At the end of the day if you want to and you think it could work then go for it,, motherhood isnt easy but its rewarding and i wouldnt change my kids for the world and i couldnt imagine a life without them!! i wish i had waited and lived my life more first but if i had the choice to give them up and have that life i wouldnt even consider it!!! Kids are a blessing in everyway hard work, but worth every little bit of it.
good luck in whatever you decide
2007-03-22 09:16:53 · answer #5 · answered by Angie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
19 is young girl. If you and your boyfriend really love each other whats the pain in waiting a couple more years. Here is a good way to decide if your ready. Ask one of your friends to keep thier baby overnight. You and your boyfriend take care of the baby for 24 hours then decide if your ready or not.
2007-03-22 09:32:50 · answer #6 · answered by got all I need 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi at 19 I thought I wanted children, but always knew that I wanted to be married first. I got married about 9 months ago and am now 24 me and my husband are both glad it was a faze (although my then fiance, now husband did try and pressure me into it) as we are now ready to start our family. I admit I am scared and I even asked my mum and dad for their approval even though I am married and we have bought our own home.
Why not wait a bit, after reading what some of the others have said about how they 'thought' they wanted children had them and now wish they had waited, don't let that be you. All my friends were having children around your age some left it but the ones who had them had no time for her friends or even themself.
Don't feel pressured into having a child because your partner wants one, put your foot down.
GL any way what ever YOU decide, don't let others decide for you.
2007-03-22 10:24:11 · answer #7 · answered by Danielle P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well.. you can't just "think" you want one. you have to be sure. It is a big step and it changes everything! You should make sure you are happy with your surroundings..such as. your relationship with your bf, are you happy with yourself?, do you have the finacial means to have a baby?.. a lot of things you need to make sure before you consider having one. Good luck and just think things through completely..
2007-03-22 09:01:18 · answer #8 · answered by JT83 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wait think this decision through make sure you have time to bring a child in your life and don't just do it because everybody else has one. this will not only change your life but change others around you. i noticed you said i THINK i want want to wait until your sure ok. i don't want you to do anything you would regret or wish you could take back. like you im 19 and 11 weeks pregnant and I already now i would have to put my whole life on hold i haven't even told anyone yet. im so scared.
2007-03-22 09:24:10 · answer #9 · answered by Emma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are both still pretty young, if you have been together all that time whats the rush? sounds like you have a strong enough relationship to wait for a while? think of it this way, soon you will be in your twenties, earning more money which will allow you both to go on holidays and enjoy yourselves and see the things you have always wanted to for a while, THEN maybe think about children. Trust me, you wont get the time to do that when they are born! kids take a lot of money and time, best to get yourselves secure both financially and emotionally first.
2007-03-22 09:01:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋