How do I get over something bad I've done?

Question

I did some very bad things. I didn't hurt anyone except me. I do a lot of things which I really regret later. My problem is that once I've done something wrong, I keep on getting tense about it, for e.g I still get tense about something I did in grade 7!!! Now, to get someone to console me, I shared it with my friend. What he did was, after we had a fight, started to tell people about it. It hurt me a lot. I have no idea what I should do. Can someone tell me some ways of getting over things? Whenever I try to divert my mind from it, I keep getting tense. I cant go to a psychiatrist (social issues), I dont take drugs and I dont hurt my self. This seriously affects my social life as some of my friends were making fun of me. Can you please tell me how I can get over ALL the things I've done and stop doing everything that I do? And the last thing that happened was by accident. It was nobodies fault. Just a matter of bad timing. PLEASE HELP ME!!!

Answer 1

If you feel you've already learnt your lesson from the experience, let it go and don't brood too much over it. It's always worst the first few days, but you should be able to get out of the doldrums afterwards. Your friend was wrong to tell other people about what you confided. Some people could be cruel, but that's not a reason why you should go on blaming yourself for the past.

Answer 2

You have to realize that everybody does "bad things" in their lives. Some choose to forgive themselves and realize they are human and move on. Those people who made fun of you are far from perfect. In fact, nobody is perfect. We all have our skeletons. You can go to a psychiatrist. At first it might be scary, but they are there to help you. The help a lot of people maybe people in worse conditions than you. They know how to help you and to get you to move on in life and succeed. Make an appointment because they are legally not allowed to leak any information from you to others. As far as trust, sometimes we trust the wrong people. Your friend was VERY wrong to leak info to others. They probably just wanted attention or to feel good about themselves by making you look bad. It was none of their business and your friend will have to answer to God one day for why he/she did that. Good luck with a doc!

Answer 3

First, find a real friend who respects you wish for secrecy. Once people know stuff and harass you over it, there is nothing you can do except wait it out. Eventually, someone else will become the juicy topic of conversation. Besides, real friends will torment you over social blunders, but won't keep it going too long - if they do, it says a lot about the kind of "friends" they are, doesn't it?

Answer 4

Bad things happen. We all mess up. It sounds to me as if anxiety is a problem for you.

I learn a lot every day, and most of that learning is form making mistakes. I still flush when I think of some of the boneheaded things I have done. That is normal to do. If your anxiety about mistakes or fear of making more is a problem, there are treatments out there from counseling to medication. Try getting some help. I bet you will be glad you did.

Answer 5

We ALL do dumb, stupid and sometimes bad things, mostly while we are young, but sometimes as adults too.
You just have to say "Oh well" and go on. Everyone screws up. No one is perfect. And neither are you.
If you knew some of the dumb, bad things that your friends have done, you wouldn't feel so bad.
The only difference is that they have been smart enough NOT to tell anyone what they did.
Now, as to how to deal with the ones who are making fun of you, you look amazed, and say "REALLY? He told me that YOU did that!"
I bet they shut up real fast, and the blabbermouth soon will have a LOT of people mad at him.

Answer 6

I have found for me that the best way to get over something is just to admit it to yourself. If you are feeling hurt by someone, you cannot change it till you tell yourself first.
The next step would be to take the time tell the person directly related to the problem, how you are feeling.

I know that it is embarrassing to go to a physiologist, but more and more people are going now a days just to talk about their feelings. I think that you will grow out of the embarrassed phase!

If you are still in high school, seek help in your guidance counselor. Most of them went to school to help you with problems like this. Just tell your friends that you went to talk to her or him about scholarships. Know that anything you tell them is confidentiality, and they (by law) cannot repeat anything you say.

Basically, talking about it and hearing ideas and having people listen is the best way to get over anything!

Best of luck!

Answer 7

you need to realize WE ALL make mistakes and I don't understand why you can't go to counselling. You may not need a psychriatrist but a counsler , psychologist might help you. If you really want help. Be careful who you tell things to, alot of relationships go bad and they know how to hurt you and with you it is your past mistakes. Alot of people won't like this but prayer helps. I truly believe in it. You need someone to talk to that you can trust, someone who has experience and education. A professional. If not see a pastor if you are into religion. You have serious guilt issues. Noone here can help you. See a doctor. go to group therapy, it really helps.

Answer 8

you are feeling guilty that is why you get tense. If you did something that affected someone else you need to apologize and ask for their forgiveness. You can also ask forgiveness from God. When you think about doing something bad just think before you do it. If you feel uneasy about doing something than your probably shouldn't be doing it. The best way to not to bad stuff is to think before you act. Think of the consequences

Answer 9

wel I think you should start today and do something nice for some one else every day and dont tell any one you did it. also you should start today and do something nice for yourself ., do this every day and just see what happens. by the way never tell any one anything that you dont want the whole world to know even if the person is your very best friend.. you only can tell Jesus and that is only when you are sure only Him is listening. good luck.

Answer 10

you need to remember not everyone is perfect. we all make mistakes, and the best thing to do is to move on with your life. what I do is write down my feelings in a journal, and that helps me a lot. I also tell my parents what I have done , and ask them what I could do to repair the situation.