Is it true that sometimes a baby comes between a couple rather than bringing them closer together?

Question

My parents divorced 3 months after I was born.

Answer 1

The answer is yes.

Your parents divorcing when you were 3 months - no.
There were certainly other significant issues that led to the divorce. While having an infant child to care for is certainly a stress on a couple, if their relationship is otherwise strong, the newborn can be managed.

When the couple truly want to become parents and are realistic about the needs of children, it can also draw them together. However, children are a poor glue to hold together a shaky relationship.

Answer 2

If you are suggesting you caused the divorce, then NO. Something was broke way before you were born. Make peace with this....find some pictures of you back then and pray for the little baby who felt like the cause and felt like he was responsible for out of control adults. A 3 mon old baby can't hardly hold up his own head much less shoulder the kind of burden these folks put on you. Time to become your own parent and treat yourself with the respect, gentleness and discipline you need to grow and be successful.

Babies dont EVER bring a couple closer together.....they disrupt sleep, eating, jobs. They cost money, time and energy. They are cute, smelly, messy and noisy. They are high maintenance. All babies are a lot of work. Love is the thing that gets you through it. Make no mistake, they did not love each other enough to do whatever it takes to make it work. They may not have know HOW to love you enough...remember they only had 3 mos to try and all the years they put into their adult relationship were not resulting in anything worth saving. Just because they did not HAVE the skills doesn't mean they didn't love you....all parents love their babies the best they know how.

I'm sry your parents didnt get the help and support they needed to figure this out. Put the blame where it belongs...on the adults. Get on with your life, and be happy.
God Bless.

Answer 3

I am so sorry to hear that.
Some women think if they have their partners child, they will hold onto that partner.
Nope. Doesn't work like that.
I have no idea how long your parents were married before you came along but a lot of married couples are not ready to have a bubs in their lives.
Reasons being, Jealousy. The male wants all the attention.
If a baby comes along, the male loses that attention.
A baby is a big responsibility and should be shared between the two partners.
But, Hey, at least you know you were born out of love.
I hope you still see both parents.

Answer 4

This could mean that they were already having problems before you were born. Or someone could have cheated on the other after you were born. I don't think it had anything to do with you. But sometimes especially if they were young when you were concieved, having a baby does add a little strain when your not prepared. Like having to buy baby milk, day care fees, whos going to hang out and whos going to stay with the baby. You'll probably get some kind of clue of what it was if you ask whichever one you think will talk the most. And if your of a certain age where they think you will understand. You'll have to read between the lines of what they say. But 9 times out of 10 it was not you. Unless your mom got pregnant on purpose when she was suppose to be on birth control, even then, that shows it was done from what was already a failing marriage.

Answer 5

Yes, this does happen sometimes. A baby changes everything in a relationship, and if the parents aren't prepared and don't adapt well to the changes, their once close relationship can suffer. Having a child is a huge responsibility, and the first few months are the hardest. There's no instruction book that comes with a new baby, and the culture shock can be overwhelming to some.

Answer 6

One thing that happens with the birth of a child is that the attention that you are used to changes because the child now needs attention. The diaper changing, feedings in the middle of the night, the constant interactions. This takes away from the attention that both parents gave for each other before the birth. If a couple share in the responsibilities, then it really is no problem. A lot has to do with maturity and understanding that once a child comes into the world, things change for both the mother and father.

Answer 7

there were other issues. Couples can and have handled most things that happen when a baby appears on the scene. It's not easy---- just a challenge in life's adventures. Your parents just were not happy together and if they had stayed together just for your sake it would have been disastrous. Easy to look back and find excuses.......but it's not the baby even if it was more than a handful....certainly not after 3 months.

Answer 8

It happens if one of the partners is not interested to have a baby at this time, if a partner likes to have a baby then both of them needs to talk & understand each other then decide if they need the baby or not, if one say yes & the other says no then both should be ready for the worst things to come & face it. But most of the time babies bring happiness & cheerness between the partners & the love increases more between them. So relax & cool down!

Answer 9

I wouldn't want you to think that your parents divorced because of you. If your parents divorced that quickly after you were born, it's because there were already serious and existing problems before you arrived.
Having a baby, while wonderful (I did it 4 times!), is also stressful. It requires you to make immediate major life changes and it can be exhausting. This can lead to intensifying problems that are already there.
It's certainly not the baby's fault. It's the lifestyle changes that come with having a baby accentuating the existing problems.

Answer 10

Yes, it usually happens because mom puts all of her energy into the baby and then the kids and forgets about her man and the man does not help her out and somebody has to take care of the crumb snatchers and the relationship goes to the wayside. By the time the kids are grown you have two room mates that have lived together for a long time, but don't, know or want to know each other anymore. If they split that early then they were more than likely having problems already. Talk to them don't blame yourself. You are a gift from God and all things happen for a reason.