i know this is personal but this is q&a and i really need some answers?

Question

i have been married for almost 20 yrs my husband and i are in our late 30's for yrs our sex life was almost unbelivable to others meaning we had sex every day if not more. well my h now has some health issues such as high blood pressure and back pain so he is on pain meds and b/p meds. anyway our sex life now sucks to be honnest. we have sex maybe one time per month and then it is not good he has to really work at it to get it to stay errect then when we start i swear one stroke and he is done and there i am still ready. my sex drive has not slowed down at all i could still do it every day. i love my h but this is crazy i have not had a good o in a long long time and he doesnt try to finish me either when he is done he's done.. any advice on how to make him last or tell me how to cope with this because i am feeling very let down over this. and no he isnt having an affair i know this for a fact he is always at home or at work so not possible

we have been to the dr for this we have even tried viagra for it (dr orders) that helps some but not much.. and we do talk about it he doesnt know what to do about it either we have not stayed married for 20 by not talking lol...he feels bad about it too.

let me get this straight i am the one who is giving him oral and he is the one who get to have the big o every single time we have sex and i am being selfish i dont think so. the man has not done oral on me in over a yr and wont says he doesnt like it so i am not the selfish one here at all

Answer 1

email me

Answer 2

I have two thoughts on this one:

First, I'd seek a second opinion on the BP meds, but I will tell you that this is not an unusual problem when it comes to BP meds (in other words, your husband's body is reacting to the meds like most bodies do - trouble with erections).

Secondly, I would recommend that you help your husband become an expert at oral sex. Guide him to the places that help you to an O. Introduce him to giving your clit a tongue massage. When one thing doesn't work well, rely on another. This will do two things. It will make it possible for you two to have sex more often and it will build up his confidence. The only other issue is figuring out how to make it comfortable for him due to his back pain. Maybe you could get one of those swings and hang it over the bed (I'm not kidding). It could hang at just the right level and with some pillows behind him - maybe. If not, that's your assignment, finding a comfortable way for him to get busy with his tongue. I'm telling you, it won't stop there!!

Good luck and good f***!!

Answer 3

yes that's a problem. The best you have to do is talk to your husband about these things, what you've been experiencing and try to find a solution to this problem.There are a lot of meds in there that would definitely work for both of you. This way, you're not only helping your husband and satisfying your sex life but most of all you're keeping your marriage into a healthy status; good luck

Answer 4

Its the Blood pressure Medication he is taking.

Please help him out by not giving impotance to sex, What if you were in his place? This is a common thing in all marriages but that doesnt mean you shud look down on him.
Maybe its the pressure that he is not satisfying you? Try and go away some nice romantic place. this will change him a great deal. Try it out. I am sure it will work.

Answer 5

Make an appointment with Doctor , go along with him to the appointment. Be candid with the doctor reagrding his inability to sustain an erection or even get an erection. It may the meds he is on and they can be changed to others. It may be a physical problem but the doctor can figure out if its physical or med related and there are options available for both conditions. The two of you do not have to live like this !

Good Luck and Happy O's

Answer 6

Congratulations on your 20 yrs of marriage. You are being very selfish here. I know. Have been there.
The medication is affecting his performance, let alone his back problems. Get an imagination girl, you on top, and yessssssssss, introduce those toys.
You both need to speak to the doctor and explain your needs.
I feel for your husband, put the shoe on the other foot.
You both can work this out.

Answer 7

Maybe you and your loving husband could try to have a longer period of foreplay. That may help get him erect, and helping him sustain an erection long enough to satisfy you. There are other was of making love whereas he wouldn't have to work so hard. After 20 years of marriage, I'm sure you know about taking the lead. Do that, and you can try to have the 'o' you have been waiting so long for. For women, it's not all about penetration anyway. If worse comes to worse, take it to his face!

Answer 8

I can't believe you are so selfish, and do not understand that meds can have an effect on a persons physical emotions, and their physical abilities.

After being married for 20 years, I would think that you would have more empathy for your husband. And not adding fuel to the fire when I am sure he feels badly about the whole situation.

Answer 9

You should tell your husband how you are feeling. It's not his fault that his sex drive is low. The medications he is taking could be a factor in his lack of energy and sex drive. Suggest going to the doctor with him, if he wants to fix this issue...don't force him to. Also, you could suggest marriage counseling. Good Luck.

Answer 10

You need to have an honest discussion with him. Explain to him that just because his sex drive is practically non existent, doesn't mean yours is there too. Ask him to put himself in your shoes. Ask him how he would feel if he wanted sex often but you showed no interest and when you did have sex, you wouldn't go far enough for him to ejaculate.

He is being a bit inconsiderate and selfish. He probably isn't aware of it, due to his lack of sex drive. Thus, you need to explain the situation from your perspective so he will understand and do something about it.

Answer 11

Bring foreplay into the bed-rm, maybe some toys so that you can be pleasured right before, or get so aroused that you are ready when he begins. He probably doesn't do it very often because he is embarrassed so you should let him know that this is an issue that you can work on together. Maybe if he sees that you want to try to make it better and are not judge-mental he will try more often. As with everything practice will make it better!