relationship with married man with wheelchairbound wife?

Question

I have been in an intimate relationship with a man whose wife is in a wheelchair ( ie paralysed so no sex) due to a car accident a couple of years ago.He is not willing to divorce her for two reasons, they have two small children together and he is in a very high profile job.We have great fun together on all levels.He is very attentive to me and very caring but I am wondering should I be seeking someone who has no ties or continue with this man who may never be able to fully commit to me due to his situation????Please any thoughts???

Answer 1

Why can't you go out and have a relationship with someone with no ties, you can then get on with your life instead of causeing heartache to someone else!!

Answer 2

I cannot believe you are asking this. Any person with common sense wouldn't have gotten into a relationship with a married person in the first place, but you seem to lack that immensely. Wake up, lady! What makes you think that you are going to live a fufilled life by having an affair with this guy that has no intentions to leave his wife for you? He doesn't love you, he only wants you for sex, and shame on you and him both! You are going to end up alone and hurt if you continue what you are doing. You should end ties with this man ASAP, tell him he needs to go to marriage counseling. As for you, you should consider going to a therapist and learn a thing or two about self respect. For the wife's sake, I hope she finds out about all this and runs your unsympathetic, two timing butt over with her wheelchair! Good Luck on finding some common sense for yourself!

Answer 3

What sort of person are you, that you would do this to a woman who has been through so much.

Have you heard it from her that she is paralysed to the point it affects her sex life.

And would you really want to be in a relationship with a man that could cheat on her while she is in this conditon.

The fact he is in a high profile job, means he is loaded I take, you know, I hope the wife finds out and lets the whole thing out and divorces his butt, so his life is left in the tatters, his wifes will be.

Find your own man, one who doesnt have comitments.

Answer 4

So you like drama....watch soap operas, or hell be in one...but this is crazy. Must be the honesty and integrity of this man that attracted you to him right? Or does he play a "poor me" card? Check out wheelchairjunkie.com lots of people with paralysis live perfectly full lives. Post your question there and get some feed back. He's getting you to focus on the wheelchair instead of on the woman in it. If he can't handle it, he could divorce her. He could take the high road for his kids so they are not living with this chaos, but h e doesn't. And you, you are along for the ride. I can hear him telling the next woman how YOU dont understand how much work and effort it takes for him to take care of his ailing wife....and the cycle will continue as he finds the next woman to "fix" him and make him feel better. Sad---not because she is paralyzed---but because he's a user.

Answer 5

If you were that mans wife how would you feel about you? No woman should degrade herself to the level of just being a sexual object for a man. It's even worse when you know he is married with children and has apparently had no problem telling you it will go no further. You are asking for heartache. Yours and innocent bystanders. You should leave now and find an unattached man to share "good" times with. Remember the saying you reap what you sow? Everything you do eventually comes back to bite you in the a@#

Answer 6

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Answer 7

Assuming you knew the score when you met, it will be very difficult for this man to leave his responsibilities.

Could you really be happy together if he did leave his wife? In sickness and in health. Marriage is not just for sex.

Those two small children have lost their Mother as they knew her. The mother has lost her life as she knew it and would probably lose her children if she could not look after them properly.

At the risk of sounding abusive, you are a heartless, selfish cow.

Go and find a man of your own and stop interfering and trying to break up a vulnerable family.

Answer 8

If I were you then I would end this relationship. I would have never started the relationship in the first place. He needs to take care of his wife regardless if she can or can not have sex. He married his wife for better or worse, forsaking all others until death do they part. You are just sex and a good time to him. Find yourself someone who can commit to you completely. Good luck!

Answer 9

If friendship and occasional sexcapades were all you required, I would say to go ahead and have your fun with the understanding that this individual's first responsibility is to his wife and kids. That being the case, you would probably be doing them both a favor by seeing to his needs that she cannot and thus likely prolonging the marriage by making it unnecessary for him to seek out a different spouse.

However, if it is a meaningful relationship leading to marriage that you are seeking, seek it elsewhere. She needs her husband far more than you do. Being as you aren't crippled, you have options that she will never have. Don't take away what little left she has in life.

Answer 10

Married and 2 small children like that didnt ring bells ? Put yourself in his wifes shoes and you should come up with the answer quite easily wheelchair or no wheelchair...would you like it if you were married and he was sleeping around and having a relationship with someone else?....When you do marry the vows go for better or worse not ill start bonking someone else when you end up in a wheelchair!

Answer 11

What you are doing is committing adultery,marriage is for better or worse so he should patiently sit by his wife's side,after all sex is not the only part of marriage and in any case there are other ways of having sex not the usual,but it helps all the same.
I suggest you leave this guy and God will give you your very own man who will love you,cherish you and marry you till death do you part,this man is not for you my dear,he is a married whichever way you look at it.