Have you ever had an affair? How and why did it begin and end?

Question

Have you ever had an affair? How and why did it begin and end?

Answer 1

I had an affair with a married older man during 4 years. I was madly in love with him, he seemed like a real gentleman, treated me like i was the only woman in the world. It began as we had a buisiness relationship and one day we couldn´t fight off the attraction we felt for each other..we kissed and spent 4 wonderful years together. H e was the love of my life, i don´t think i´ll ever feel the same for anyone else. I have since had other relationships, and currently have a partner who i love but not so intensely. The problem was that he stayed married, i never pressured him to leave his wife. He said that they weren´t happy together but as he was of society it wasn´t easy, he had 4 children around my age, and 9 grandchildren. I got upset loads of time especially after his wifes phone calls or at not being able to tell my family anything and keep it all hush hush...one day i couldn´t take anymore...i felt like the 2nd hand knickers...dirty...and used, i think that was when i realised that i had to love myself a little too... I missed him during a long time, and having to hang up the phone on him, but life goes on. I don´t repent having finioshed the relationship, and it´s made me stronger

Answer 2

At the risk of sounding judgemental, I have never have and never will have an affair.

If I ever did feel the need to have an affair and it was a strong compulsion, I would not do it but I would leave my partner as I would know it cannot be working.

If you have an affair it is (in my opinion only) extremely cowardly and hurtful. Yes, your partner may not be treating you as you think they should be but you should seek counselling then or leave them and not try to pursue another relationship.

Personally, I do not think there is an excuse for an affair in ANY situation.

There are always other options and I would never give anyone who i knew to be having an affair any respect or even the time of day.

Answer 3

Without going into to much detail, I had an affair with someone i knew for over 15 years before something happened. It happened because I'm married to a guy who has NO sex drive!!! Even to this day, once every 8months if I'm lucky, even then its a total disaster. Don't ask why because I'm unsure why he is like this as there were no problems for the first year or so after we married. My affair ended because I left him and went back to my husband because he had my 2 children and who are to this day my life, my lover went back to his wife. I'm of slim build take care of myself and meet men all the time who have asked me to pursue an affair even though they know I'm married but i have never obliged, but as a frustrated female, if push comes to shove i will and would do it again as i cannot go on like this. Attachment to someone else emotionally worries me also.

Answer 4

I am currently having an affair. It started because my wife pretty much ignored me for years. I always wanted to make love to her just about every night. She preferred to watch TV until late at night, and said that she wanted sex no more than once per week. That ended up being about 2 or 3 times per month.

In the evenings, we each went our separate ways. Me in one room, her in another.

She also gained weight and started snoring, which keeps me awake at night. So I have hardly slept an entire night with her for 2 years now.

So I just grew tired of being ignored and when I met someone that I really liked, I pursued a friendship that turned into an affair and into a loving relationship. I am ending my marriage because of this relationship.

There are other issues I have with my wife. But, she is the nicest person and I just hope that I am making the correct decision.

Answer 5

I am having an affair at the moment - and it is unsatisfactory and a source of guilt, confusion and upset.

It's very easy to be judgemental and absolute that you won't, but otherwise good people do have affairs (and good people also suffer the consequences).

Mine started with a friendship that got deeper and deeper. Yes, I'm old enough to know better, but I do think she is my soulmate, the one, etc. However at the moment I put the needs of my children first and have stayed with my wife.

I believe it will end as an affair when I finally leave my wife once my children get older.

Answer 6

Erm, depends what you define an affair... I have a friend, he was my first love really. I meet up with him all the time and we talk, we've never kissed or touched or anything, it's mainly flirting. But I'm with another man, been with him for only two years and he's lovely, but just so serious. And I don't want to be only thinking of work and bills, I want to be young again so thats what I'm doing.
I wouldn't recommend this, it isn't a good thing to do.

Answer 7

I am a guy, but i was w/ my wife for 9 years. We have a 5 year old son, and she ended up cheating on me for a whole year behind my back, she eventually left me for him. That relationship went nowhere, now she is jumping from man to man, and noone takes her seriously 'probably 'cause of the fact that she has a child(my son), she says she regrets what she did, sometimes i feel sorry for her, and would like 2 get back 2gether 'cause i still love her, eventhough she did what she did, but i don't know if i can trust her again.

Answer 8

I had an emotional affair - began when my husband was being terribly neglectful and a "friend" was terribly attentive. It ended when I told my husband, cut all ties to that person, and my husband and I got professional help. We both realized our mistakes and we both changed our ways - that was over 5 years ago, we've never been happier in our marriage.

Answer 9

Everyone has his or her own views i had an affair she met me in my class. we were together for 6 yrs. neither she left nor i did but some thing happned and it ended but its still there in hearts. hope to get her back soon.

Answer 10

I have never had an afair, or two timed ever.
Always end before starting another.