Im sooo confused and torn. My brother has been friends with Sam for bout 10 years but I know Sam too coz we all grew up together but they are 3 yrs younger. Anyway recently we all started hanging out more and Me n Sam realised how much we liked each other! For about 6 months i really did ignore my feelings coz i know my bro wouldnt be happy with it! My brother found out that we kissed and told me he doesnt want me to see him again he's soo against it and basically isnt speaking to me and is kind of making me choose. I know this thing with Sam is a risk and i wouldnt bother if it didnt feel real! Were not kids we're like early 20's so it all seems totally immature having to hide wat we feel etc etc! I just dont want to lose my brother or sam! Its all the early stages of a relationship and its sooo perfect but i just wonder whether to end it now before it gets serious or just carry on with all the risks! I just dont want anyone to get hurt and want everyone to be happy!!!! Wat to do?
2007-03-21 22:25:36 · 19 answers · asked by zara 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You obviously have strong feelings for this Sam and as you say, you are not children. You need to talk to your brother alone and let him know how strongly you and Sam feel for each other and that no amount of resistance can stop you. He is being childish, he has no hold over you or Sam and needs to see that you are old enough to look after yourself. He cannot do anything about this, as much as he may not like it, and needs to be aware that he could lose both of you over this. His relationship with Sam will not change, as it may make them stronger as friends and if it all goes wrong, well , that is a bridge you will all have to cross when and if it happens. Just be mature about this and do not put up with any moodiness on his part, he either talks about it or accepts it quietly.
2007-03-21 22:46:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Real touchy subject. Always remember family is always going to be there. Boyfriends and husbands will come and go after the lust/honeymoon is over. Resolve the underlying issue with your brother also do a reality check with yourself: are you in it for the realtionship or the thrill of the risks involved. If it is sooo perfect sam wouldn't mine giving it some time to develop. How did your brother find out? Was it from sam ? Brothers have a tendency to be overprotective. I think the show friends has several episodes of what your going through. Maybe all three of you could sit down together and check it out. It easier to understand watching somebody else go through it and besides a little humor would break the ice developing around yalls friendship and family ties.
2007-03-21 23:22:44 · answer #2 · answered by griszby69 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't really get this - my brother and I grew up dating each other's best mates and we all remained pals - even now, 20 years on, we all still go out in a group (and bring our partners, too!). If your brother has a reason for not wanting this relationship to happen, then he should tell you - it isn't good enough just to stamp his feet and scream that he will never talk to you again. I think the best thing that could happen would be for your brother to find himself a girlfriend to take his mind off what you are doing - can't you fix him up with one of your friends? Chances are he is just feeling a little left out.
The thing is, if you don't go for it with Sam, you will spend a long time wondering what could have happened if only ... and you might even resent your brother for coming between you.
2007-03-21 23:45:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe have Sam talk to brother and go from there?
maybe Just tell brother you like Sam and you're going to continue seeing him and maybe it will anger the truth out of brother?
Maybe brother knows something about Sam you should know, but he may not tell you bc he doesn't want to rat Sam out..or hurt you, or you to get hurt and ruin everyones friendship?
could be many reasons, even just the fact that it might seem weird for you and Sam to be liking each other.
If nobody will be Truely open and honest or open and honest about their true feelings on all this, then it's all just guessing and speculation
maybe ask one or both of your parents?
This is a very tough one bc we dont know you guys really and whats really going on under the surface.
2007-03-21 22:40:50 · answer #4 · answered by Gary G 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello. Complicated story u have there. I don't think your brother will never "talk to you again", and instead of "soo against" he should understand and help u sort out ur feelings. It's not fair to make u choose..it's ur life..and if u want to have them both in ur life..it's really up to you. If u really like Sam i say it's worth a try. You can't make everybody happy..but u can at list try to make urself happy..cos that's very important. Before taking and big decisions talk to Sam and see what are the expectations for this relationship...And your brothers attitude it's very self centred. On short my adivice is..talk to sam and straight things out..what u both want from this relationship. and then try to make ur brother understand. if he will good for him..if he won't..it's his loose. Good luck..! And never let love go away..because of imature brothers. :)
2007-03-21 22:34:46 · answer #5 · answered by Rebel EXtravaganza 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
not something incorrect with relationship an older brothers chum. if your brother thinks he's a solid guy he probable is. Why not be the boys chum first? be certain you in good condition as pals till now you persue extra. in case you won't be able to be pals you won't be able to advance a loving relationship. My mom replaced into the extra youthful sister of her brothers chum, My Dad. They met while they have been 13 and 14.. ultimately My Dad fell for my mom. My mom did not ask him out he asked her. They have been given married had all 6 human beings young toddlers and have been in love till the day he died.
2016-10-19 08:03:43 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a man i would not date my mates sister due to how complicated it might get if the relationship went wrong etc which might be what your brother wants rather than just not wanting someone doing his sister..... but if these feelings are so strong then sit your brother down and talk to him and explain which should work unless you are both childish and chavy
2007-03-21 22:33:48 · answer #7 · answered by 2 good 2 miss 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to convince ur brother that you are no more a kid and that you have strong feelings for sam.. i think if he's really mature he'll be able to understand you
2007-03-21 22:31:26 · answer #8 · answered by nap11t 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is your brother and should love you no matter what. What if this guy turns out to be your soul mate! Talk to your brother and see if there is an underlying problem or reason why you should not be together.
2007-03-21 22:33:36 · answer #9 · answered by ads79 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are both free to choose your own course of action there is nothing wrong with dating your brothers friend ,what is wrong is your brothers attitude, he doesn't have any jurisdiction over either of you ,I think you should declare the relationship to your families openly.
2007-03-21 22:55:09 · answer #10 · answered by Lindsay Jane 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋