Here's the problem that I'm having....I'm a plus size woman, married to a blue-eyed, blonde haired gorgeous hunk of of man. I don't say that because I'm his wife, I catch other women eye balling him everytime we go out. I also catch him looking at other women while we're together, which hurts my feelings. I have told as much, but he keeps doing it. In short, it brings out my insecurities. How am I to conquer this?
2007-03-21 21:53:03 · 14 answers · asked by Safaia 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
For those who keep telling me to lose weight...I'm in the process right now, but I really don't think that is an issue for my husband doesn't know me any other way....
2007-03-21 22:00:40 · update #1
you are probably way more beautiful in his eyes than all those other women.Men just can't help but look at an attractive woman.Its human nature and he can't controll it but, No matter who he looks at, at the end of the day its you who he chooses to go home with, because he loves you and that should make you feel like a beauty queen! You need to stop comparing yourself to the women he checks out,we are all beautiful in our own way and accepting that is the only way to conquer your insecurity.If he had to choose between their looks and your heart what do you think he would say?When you start to love your self and carry your self with confidence you will become absolutely irresistible to him.TRUST ME!
2007-03-21 22:26:17 · answer #1 · answered by goodgirl5567 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ya know, I recently read an article on the web somewhere that claimed a male's response to an attractive female occurs according to instinct and is therefore beyond his control. It's on par with a reflex action. I'm not sure I buy that since I'm usually able to keep my eyes front as long as I make a conscious effort. As for dealing with the insecurities - they're there as a defense mechanism and again largely out of your control. If you conquer what is making you feel insecure in the first place the feelings should disappear on their own.
2007-03-21 22:02:08 · answer #2 · answered by Deleted 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Plus sized or not Women are insecure. It sounds like you are lucky like me. I am a small plus size woman with a very attractive hubby. My hubby happens to be a chubby lover for life. I can understand it driving you nuts for other women to be checking out your hubby when you don't feel great about your appearance. However his looking at other women has no bearing on you...he has eyes, therefore he looks.
Ask your hubby what physical attributes he finds attractive. I'd bet that if you listen 99% of them are things he sees in you.
I would suggest that instead of trying to lose weight you work on building up your own self worth. Losing weight will not make you more secure, I've done it, it will just make you a thin insecure woman.
Feel free to email me if you want to talk more on this. angelnurse732@yahoo.com
2007-03-22 03:13:11 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm in a similar situation as you, so I can relate. My husband is a tall, lean, muscled, dark European. Women look, but there is no way he would do anything, so that's not a problem. As with you, this is the only way he has ever known me, and our relationship - intimate and otherwise, is wonderful after many, many years of marriage. The insecurities pop up sometimes, but then they are easily quelled. You just have to have the confidence that he chose you, you chose one another, and he loves you and wants to be with you. You need to do this for yourself, and for your relationship. Be the best woman you can be, keep yourself busy and interested - and interesting - . A lot of the time we second-guess ourselves and imagine things that aren't there, which can be dangerous - such as you thinking he's looking at other women, which could really be nothing - he's probably just looking in their direction, or checking out the wart on her chin, or something.
Just buck up, and count your blessings!
2007-03-22 01:26:45 · answer #4 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For extra useful or worse, precise? You already knew this approximately this once you obtain jointly, so no surprises. i might advise counseling, yet i for my area doubt it might help. maximum insecure women every physique is insecure because of fact they have low self-worth. the ideal thank you to attempt by contrast is to make her sense like a queen! compliment her...permit her understand she is the sexiest woman in the worldwide and how fortunate you're to have got here upon her! additionally...i might motivate her to pursue a number of her very own pastimes. If she has consistently had to be an artist, case in point, motivate her to take some instructions in basic terms for exciting! Or besides the fact that that's that pastimes her. this is outstanding how empowered human beings become while they locate something outstanding to maintain their minds occupied. much less time to be concerned that hubby is cheating and extra time to be sure how outstanding they are relatively as a individual. It builds character.
2016-11-27 21:36:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to let him know how this makes you feel when he does this. Be honest with him and you may also need marriage counseling as well. If he does not consider your feelings and try to stop doing this and hurting you this way then you need to get out and seperate for a while to work on you and your self esteem issues. I had a husband who was like this and he would lust after them as well and i felt just the same way that you are feeling now and I never felt he loved me ever and i never felt good enough for him. My heart goes out to you today and here comes lots of hugs for you. I am here to talk if need be as well.
2007-03-22 01:26:41 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't know if you're a spiritual woman, but I would read a book by Joyce Meyer called The Confident Woman. I am currently reading it and I am enjoying every minute of it. Okay you're a plus sized woman my question to you is how do you feel about yourself? I've seen plenty of beautiful plus sized women and I'm a woman, but found them attractive. It all depends on how you feel about yourself and not to mention you may catch him looking at those other women, but sit still watch, look, listen, and learn what is catching his attention and mimic it. Remember who it is that he is going home to. Be open minded, try new things, better your self esteem. You can do it girl...
2007-03-21 22:23:25 · answer #7 · answered by Jerry S 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
He's with you - let go of the insecurities and enjoy your hunk of a husband. Him checking out other women is a respect issue - talk to him about it.
2007-03-22 01:53:30 · answer #8 · answered by Zabes 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The best way to conquer it is to look who he is coming home with, who he married and loves. He looks, they look it is natural, but at the end of the night whose bed is he in? Yours right? So there you go, you got him and he loves you just the way you are.
2007-03-22 01:23:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You talk to him about it.
You let him know it's great that the other gals are so attracted to him and that he loves you, but that it makes you insecure when he's checking THEM out. You need to know you can trust him ABSOLUTELY.
Then when he swears that you can trust him, hire a detective firm to get someone to chat him up and give you a report.
Then divorce him and get half his stuff (or more)
2007-03-21 21:56:18 · answer #10 · answered by Orinoco 7 · 0⤊ 4⤋