Spousal abuse! Verbal and maybe physical!?

Question

I have a friend who is in need of definite help. Although they are adults and much older than me, I still find myself needing to help this friend. Not because I want to or need to, it is because this friend could be in physical danger. Also there is a one-year-old baby involved. Everyone grows up differently. Those who are less fortunate need some help. In my situation, I will be helping this friend. But I just can’t understand how people can treat one another. I still have a lot to learn in this life. But I definitely know what is right from wrong. Some people just need professional help. I will find these two some professional help. That is the most I can do, because some things I have yet to understand. I don’t feel anger against this situation. I feel fear for my friend and the baby. I’m confused on how my friend got into this situation, because this individual is very intelligent. Is there a number that I should call or someone that can help me? Please, thank you!

Answer 1

You have an obligation to society to help. Especially because there is a child involved. You can call DHS and make an annoymous complaint and they will investigate the situation. Just look up the phone number for the Department of Human Services in your area. Good Luck.

Answer 2

one word of caution is that you feel you are doing the right thing but they won't feel the same way. the only thing you can do is offer them the help that is out there. look at your local church groups, women shelters and battered men's helpline, and the court system would also be a starting point. the police dept. would probably not be able to help until it gets worse. the same, i fear if you called on child and family services. the above mentioned sites would be able to give you more guidance and get the right answers. if the abuse you see if that apparent to you when you are present, think how it must be when you are not there. there are also many kinds of abuse, from verbal, emotional, physical and mental, that one kind may overlap into another. the victim may feel inadequate as well as have a low self-esteem, which will eventually have an effect on their lifestyle,( job, health, sex life, outer family relationships,) so good luck getting the help for your friend and like I said before if they tell you to leave and stay away it's only because they are embarrassed but remember you did the right thing by getting them the help they need.

Answer 3

I am sorry that all this is going on with you involved too. It is a very difficult situation. Yes, absolutely professional help is very needed. An absolute necessity, in fact.
Be prepared though, as the person you help might very well turn on you or refuse help. Some people have an illness where they need and pursue drama in their lives. It has nothing to do with intelligence. It is a serious illness that requires therapy and patience.

Good luck. Get your friend to a therapist above all else.

Answer 4

Law of Nature; when you get two of a kindof any species, sooner or later theyll get into a fight. Just happens. So far, after reading your question, youve stated what you suspect but give no details. Some couples thrive on fighting to make up. If your friend is so intelligent like you say, then she knows very well she/he can get out of this if they really wanted to. Be careful of getting involved here because your concern could cost you your friendship especially if youre wrong. Im not telling you not to get involved, Im just saying please make sure of what you have here before acting on it. Verbal abuse is extremely hard to prove unless one spouse is willing to testify in court and then it becomes ones word against the other and is hard to figure out who is right. Youre not alone, sometimes people are extrememly hard to understand even to me and I have professional education and experience dealing with people, especially if they dont want to be understood or want professional help. Contact your local authorities if you think you have something and let them sort this out, but dont be shocked if nothing comes out of it except loss of your friendship. Good luck

Answer 5

First, you need to make sure that you are 100% sure about what is happening.... talk to your friend, tell her that you are afraid for her, offer her help. If you are absolutely sure there's a problem, first try and get her to take the first step. Suggest counselling, let her know that if things don't get better, you will have to call someone. If she is really in a verbally abusive relationship, that should push her in the right direction.
Just please be sure you know what you are talking about, because you could cause more problems for her than she has already if you're wrong.

Answer 6

Hi One, You are a very good friend i wish someone like you were around when my ex physical, verbally and mental abuse me. Look up the # for women's shelter for abuse women and children. They will take her in and protect her from Mr. Wonderful. That's if she needs to be protected and she will in time. Help and watch out for her and her baby. A Friend.

Clowmy

Answer 7

Just look up "crisis center" in the phone book. These people are trained to help in all kinds of situations. They have contact numbers that they will give you. They can also help you decide what the best course of action you should take.

Answer 8

1-800-799-SAFE is the National Domestic Violence Hotline. You can call them, and they will tell you what they think you should do. It's okay to call them even if you aren't sure what's happening. They understand that things aren't always cut and dry, and they will help you however they can.