What are the odds of a successful and loving marriage in today's world?

Question

I was so optamisitic about love and what it should be like, until my first love left me to be with someone else. I am a loyal girl...and have high morals about relationships. But all I see and hear now is who's been cheating. Marriages and relationships splitting up left and right. Do you feel that marriages really work anymore, or is sex and cheating become the thing to do now??

Answer 1

The odds are 50-50. I just ended an affair. Apparently sex and cheating is the "easy way out" instead of working hard at keeping your marriage happy. At least it's the path I took, and the guilt and shame are eating me alive. Since I ended the affair and decided to work at my marriage, I have been on numerous marriage advice sites. Obviously I should have been on them before I started the affair, then maybe it wouldn't have happened. Marriage is hard work. Face it - it's tough committing to one person for the rest of your life. I read that falling in love is easy because it is happening "to you". Staying in love is difficult because you have to work at it. Marriage can work for people who are strong willed and self confident. I strayed because I lack self-confidence and needed to feel needed. I place no blame on my husband, he loves me dearly and for some reason it wasn't enough. People don't take much seriously anymore, we are getting numb to everything and everyone around us, myself included. It's a sad world, one that I'm not so sure I want to bring children into...

Answer 2

First of all, if you want some kind of guarantee, buy a toaster. The point is, there are (for the most part) no guarantees in life.

IMO the best way to prevent your marriage from breaking up down the road is to get to REALLY know the other person BEFORE you get married. Find out all of his or her likes, how they feel about certain things, how they'd react in certain situations, are they a good person, can they be trusted, what they want out of life and expect from their spouse.

The only way to find that out is to take things slowly. Time has a way of catching another person's true self. If he's a real turd of a man, eventually you'll see it if you wait long enough. The problem is, so many people seem to rush into marriage without really knowing the other person.

I think you also need to be secure financially before getting married and you're already into your career. That doesn't mean you marry for money but you need to stay single until you both can support yourselves financially. Marriage is hard enough without having to deal with money problems.

Finally, you need to be honest with each other, even if it's something they don't want to hear. For example, if you don't want kids, both of you need to be up front with that type of thing. You don't want huge surprises in a marriage. You both need to be on the same page of music, so to speak.

You also should try to find someone with similar values and beliefs. They say opposites attract but I think long term, it can cause problems. I guess it could work out if two people are opposites but I wouldn't bet on it.

So, take your time, look around and you'll find someone. There really are some good single men out there, you just have to look!

Good luck!

Answer 3

In my opinion, most men will cheat at some point or another but it's up to you if you will be one of those "stick it out" women who stay and act like nothing is wrong. I think that marriages can work but very few do because of money issues or more common cheating when one of the people( most often the man) gets slick and steps outside of the marriage. That's just my opinion but come on, not all but a lot of you men cheat and mess around if you think you can get away with it. Even the some of the ones who say "I'd never cheat on my wife!" say that because it sounds good but go on to cheat eventually.
All I can say to you is never settle and don't take any bs from a man. If you feel he can't give you what you need, or is treating you bad, move on because honey they never cry for you they will wipe their tears with another woman's hand! Trust!

Anyway, good luck to you! :) and for a little more on how I feel about this, just see another answer that I had for a question similar to yours click the link below.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=A9FJuiuxKwJGoCsA6gLsy6IX?qid=20070315040349AA4iznw&show=7#profile-info-cf8f043773f594bd0c8cd6313dffb683aa

Answer 4

A good marriage is not based on odds, it is based
on two loving people being totally committed to
each other continuously and being responsible.
When two people are the same to each other then
marriage can be a wonderful thing but it takes two.
I know as I have been married over 20yrs and we
(two) love each other very much and don't do any-
that would jeapardize our relationship which falls
under responsibility and committment. Once you
have two people in that catagory then it will and
does work. I agree with the person that says God
has to be involved as remember Marriage be-
tween two people is sacred therefore He has to
be involved also.

Answer 5

Marriages are doomed. The thought of only having one vagina the rest of your life would make any man go crazy. Women don't understand that, they just see it has cheating. No it's needing more than that same piece you have to come home to evvvveerrryyy day. It so hard for a man to be faithful. But yet you have these people on here talking about my spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend is so faithful and would never cheat on me. Right--if you believe that than you will believe anything.

Answer 6

Realisticly, finding a faithful mate is a crapshoot at best unless you are willing to put in the time, celibacy, sermons, socials, and marry through a respected religous organization. Even then you've only got a 70 to 80% chance of a lifetime union. Taking your time to find a mate who is honest, and will wait to marry you properly with family and church is your best chance of success.
If you want the right mate, you have to look in the right place.
Where would you find someone with High morals, who is loyal and honest.
Cheating may be prevailent, but it is certainly not the thing to do. It causes pain and grief all around.
I hope you find the mate you seek, and wish you patience in your journey to seek love, trust, fidelity, and happiness.

Answer 7

This has been going on since life began. And it will keep going on...long after wer'e gone. You are a monogamous person, and loyal..and faithful seems. Yet the guy was not.
He will keep doing this.....so u should actually feel sorry for
the next girl. Because you already know how he is. They
will have to find out the hard way....just like u did. Next time
don't give ur heart..unless they have given theirs. ((hugs))

Answer 8

Mine is working great. It is lots of work and trust. I don't think odds have anything to do with our success, we were just meant to be and have both worked hard together. I know we both deal with lots of bs. But it seems like last year most couples we knew broke up, even married for years couples.

A couple has to work as a team, and they have to comunicate and compromise. They also need trust and personal life. We keep on working and it should keep us going!

Here is to you finding the right boo for you, the one who values are right up there with you. And the one who wants to make a permanent life with you. Never settle honey!

Answer 9

Girlfriend, as long as you stay by your morals and principles in life, you should be fine. Nobody can say that you are wrong. The problem with people nowadays is that they can't take criticisms and problems and as such when people get married they just marry for the fun of it and when problems arise, they split because they cannot solve the problems.

Answer 10

Well,in my inner thoughts what i feel is that marriage is something predestined,nothing happens without destiny if not we would not have zodiac signs or month to decide which star or month we belong to.Cheating of course starts from the day we step in to the world from buying of diapers(inflation of prices -to the quality of stuff we purchase)It has become part and partial of our lives.Just be an observer.See there is more to come.