how do i help a suicidal friend?

Question

he says hes been feeling this way for a long time off and on and doent know what to do with himself anymore. he refuses to tell his mother or girlfriend, for fear that they might try to lock him up in an instatution. i dont even know what to say to him to change his mind.. any suggestions?

Answer 1

first off in most cases if someone is suicidal they dont tell anyone about it they just do it now he may be depressed and could use medication for that which would mean some serious help try to not talk to him about that is bothering him so much if anything have good times that will get you through the best way and if he starts like giving stuff away then tell his mother girlfriend a teacher or someone it will be hard to tell them and im sure if your friend got the proper help he will later thank you for helping him out

Answer 2

I've thought about suicide (not killing myself, but the topic) a lot. I don't think I was ever suicidal...but I was in a very dark place for years.

First, of course, you should be there for your friend. Unfortunately tho, I feel like this is just a bandage. I think people commit suicide not so much that they aren't loved but that they aren't understood. This is true lonliness and hopelessness. Sometimes even people saying they love you can even make you feel even more lonely I think. You feel like although ppl love you, noone really "gets you". So, if he is depressed over a particular thing, see if you can relate to it, or maybe another friend that can.

Or maybe get him a certain self help book? Just some random ideas:

1. Religion: Many people find comfort and purpose in religion. Maybe get him a Bible or even easier is to go to a church on sunday. There were many times I went when I felt the sermon applied to me. I happen to believe in Christianity as it is beyond just practical religion where you work for your own salvation. ( I see such a concept as pointless.)

2. Practical: See a therapist, psychiatrist, etc. Counseling can help. Or medication. Or both. Also, maybe if he's talked to you about it openly, get him one of those Suicide hotline phone numbers and ask him to keep it in his wallet. Some days he may feel fine....but perhaps that # could save his life if he suddenly wants to kill himself on a whim.

A good book to check out is "7 Habits of highly effective people". We've all seen the book in bookstores. And frankly, I thought the book would be lame. But its actually a great book. Whereas most self help books are "quick fixes", this book really has a good positive outlook on changing your circumstances by first changing yourself.

3. Philisophical: I think the key to life is faith as described in Kirkregard's "Fear and Trembling". Hope can be a dangerous thing. You hope this will happen or hope things get better or you feel better. Faith on the other hand is very different. Its hard to explain here....but this book helped me a lot.

Another book that actually "helped" me was Albert Camus' "Myth of Sisyphus". It indirectly tackles the topic of suicide. However its approach is completely opposed to anything spiritual or religious. It's point is that life is so meaningless and absurd, that you find real purpose in life itself, and not having to find a higher purpose. (In essence, a very anti-Christian book.) (....also it may seem contradictory, but its actually a book about why you should NOT commit suicide. However, not sure what age you guys are.....but if he reads philosophy, this could help. BUT, I've met ppl that got the completely wrong message from this book. So it might be dangerous too. Im only mentioning it to you cuz it helped me "temporarily" ( before I read Kirkregard).

I've rambled on, I bet someone else has written a much better answer to this by now. Just throwing some ideas out though. Best of luck to you and your friend.

Answer 3

Feeling suicidal is not as uncommon as you or he might think. If he doesn't want to admit these thoughts, just tell them that he is seriously depressed. If he has a school counselor, he/she can refer him to therapy. More than likely he is suffering from depression which causes thoughts of suicide. There is plenty of help available for him.

Also there are on line help sights--depression-screening.org, STRESSGROUP.com, safeusa.org/suicide, allexperts.com/q/Suicide-Prevention-3118/need help.

There are others, just look up "free suicide prevention" on line.

If he refuses help--do what you need to do. Let someone that can help him know. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Please don't ignore this problem--many years ago, I tried and failed. I still regret it. Everyone hated me for not asking for help. I thought I had hinted enough, but most people don't take it seriously when people say that they want to die. Do it now, before you are attending an unnecessary funeral. This is a very serous situation--don't take it lightly. If someone had not accidentally found me, I would not be her to give you this very important advice.

Answer 4

Tough love. It is actually a felony to try to commit suicide.

Soft love. Tell him to go to the nearest behavioral health department for an assessment. They will not and cannot send him to a 72 hour hold for coming in. They will counsel him and maybe give him a medication to take. People that have depression sometimes need to take medication for periods of time. It's just as necessary as a person with high blood pressure taking high blood pressure medication. I was diagnosed manic depressive and took meds for 6 years in my late teens and early 20's. Now I'm 25 and am perfectly healthy mentally. Life is tough and he doesn't have to do it alone. Don't allow him to continue to feed on his depression. I let that happen to me. I successfully committed suicide and was brought back in the emergency room. If my friend wasn't there for me I don't know if I'd be here today.

Answer 5

Amanda, people who are suicidal tendencies need to be accompany with, yes, he need help,advice and care, let them express there feelings, you have to talk to them in low tone,if these are not enough well he must join some support groups, he must be treated in the institution if things never work out.