My Hubby is in the National Guard and has been deployed to Iraq. We keep in touch daily, either by phone or on line. He gets very upset if he calls and I'm not home. He can also reach me on my cell phone. He has never said that he thinks I am seeing someone but he implies it by some of the things he says. Also he panicks if he can't reach me and calls family, friends etc. We have only been marrried a year, it hurts me to even think that he would doubt me being faithful and I want to get really angry but I try to understand that he is so far away and that might enter his mind. He deny's even thinking such a thing but his actions tell me he is. He also repeats over and over "as long as you are there when I get home" I hate that he sits and worries and I want to assure him that I love him and would never do anything to hurt him and I will be here for him when he gets home but evidentally I have failed in trying to do that. Any help on what I can say to ease his mind would be appreciated
2007-03-21 19:50:44 · 19 answers · asked by sash 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Hey to the one who said i was complaining etc. Listen up guy...I am very concerned about HIS feelings. Maybe u need to re-read my question. I want him to be at ease!!! Please do tell what is selfish about that?? My concern is, he will be so worried about me over here that he may end up getting hurt over there!! There is always one jerk in a crowd!!!!!!! I sooo totally did not deserve that. Since he has been gone I have even gotten his name tattoo'd on my lower back. u are so wrong!!!
2007-03-21 20:13:53 · update #1
believe me, it's in your voice. talk from your heart.
2007-03-21 19:53:22 · answer #1 · answered by mike 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi Kimberly....It's rough to discover out in case your husband is dishonest or no longer with out rough proof to head by way of. Just considering he is worn out after paintings or does not have a intercourse force does not always imply he's dishonest. Maybe he feels as though his existence is in a rut. Sometimes after a pair has been married for a precise quantity of years and do the identical activities day-to-day one will get in a rut so do talk. A sort of despair doing the identical factor over and over. this can also be rectified. Change your subculture or activities. This could support the predicament. Find new matters to do as to breaking the chain of day-to-day parties that you're a customized in doing. Plan a romantic meal for the 2 of you, discover a babysitter for the weekend and pass to an elusive inn and feature a laugh. Maybe your dating demands a few a laugh and leisure. I would not pass to the severe and feature a threesome thats no longer an overly ethical factor to do however it is telling me that your husband is in a rut so do talk. He demands a difference of atmosphere or a brand new activities in his existence. I could say wait untill you spot rough proof earlier than you accuse him of dishonest. Don't anticipate whatever, that's what breaks up plenty of well marriages. If he's dishonest, then he will make the error of leaving proof in the back of to in which you'll discover it. Sometimes matters occur for a motive, no longer regularly a well motive, however for a motive. I do not know your husband individually however at this reward time and what you had recounted, I relatively do not think he is dishonest as but. Try and feature a few religion for your husband and do not anticipate. Take care and I want you good fortune for your predicament.
2016-09-05 11:42:22 · answer #2 · answered by pizzaro 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion I think you should try your best to get him to understand you love him and would never do anything to hurt him such as being unfaithful once you get him to really believe you don't let him forget and another thing that can help you achieve that is by trying to answer every time he calls by like having a cell phone when your not at home.
2007-03-21 20:06:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is feeling insecure about being away. With everything they go through over there, it is understandable. I agree with the other poster, it will be in your voice. He spends most of his time thinking about you. It is what keeps them going over there. But he does have to understand that you are not sitting there waiting by the phone, in case he can call you. I am sure that they only give them certain times to call, and when he gets his and you don't answer, he is disappointed and his mind goes wild with scenarios.
Continue to tell him 'how much you love him and not to worry'. Tell him that 'you married him, because he was the most wonderful man in the world to you. Nothing or no one will ever be more loved by you. You miss him and can't wait till he is in your arms again and you can take care of him'.
You both have been put in one of the hardest of times to be newly married, but he will see when he gets home, that you are there, like you always told him you would be.
P.S.
I admire your sacrifice and his. Tell him I said "Thank you!!"
2007-03-21 20:05:22 · answer #4 · answered by Twisted Maggie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's not much you can do. If it's already in his head that you're cheating, then it's going to be there till he gets home.
He's probably heard horror stories about guys getting Dear John letters while over there.
Write him a lot. Send emails, care packages, pictures. Make plans for the future. Have a desginated time that he will call you.
Try to reassure him that you still love him and want to be with him.
2007-03-21 20:01:47 · answer #5 · answered by sct442 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I was in the military, it was commonplace for spouses to stray from the marriage when their husband/wife was deployed. It's probably more about him seeing and hearing others talk about their problems with this than it is about you. I'm sure he's known quite a few fellow soldiers who have had to deal with unfaithful spouses back home even though they thought nothing like this could happen. I wouldn't worry about it. The moment he gets home and sees you, all of that insecurity will melt away with one kiss. :)
2007-03-21 19:56:42 · answer #6 · answered by VHagerty 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is worried because so many of the guys that he is working with have lost their women. A lot of people can not handle being with out their partner and they end up leaving them. This scares the reamaining guys into thinking their spouse is going to be the same way. Ask him whyhe is concerned. You have to address this issue because it just won't go away and there is no easy fix.
2007-03-21 19:56:26 · answer #7 · answered by lilly j 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know that it is tough overseas and away from your loved ones. i use to get upset also and that was because it meant everything to me just to say hello when i called. the things that are going on over their is uninmaginable to the people here unless you lived it. just be understanding with him and always tell him how much you miss him and can't wait to be with him.
2007-03-21 20:51:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes i can imagine the worry he has, maybe too many other guys are having a rough time also and it is working it's way into his mind a little..just keep reassuring him you are his loving wife and always being fauthful no matter what.
2007-03-21 19:56:05 · answer #9 · answered by wongfiehung2003 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think Jacques meant in accordance of troops returning from deployment.
2007-03-21 20:01:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dam hes jealous but you could move closer to his parents so they can watch you or get a live internet feed that link with his laptop also try yakvoip to have cheap talks or wait til his next visit and get pregnant
2007-03-21 19:56:33 · answer #11 · answered by east2west 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋