Hi! I'm 19 years old and my boyfriend, who is only Spanish speaking, is 24. I am bilingual, and I love him with all of my heart. We have been best friends for a year now and have been dating for a month and a half. We spend almost every night together, since we both work and I am in school, that is the only time we have together. My family and friends hate that I am dating him, and they told me to just drop him. He has been nothing short of wonderful to me, yet they can't stand the fact that he only speaks Spanish and also has a child from when he was very young. I feel empty without him in my life, and they don't understand this. They make snide comments and told me that they will NEVER approve of him, and they haven't even met him because of this. I am lost as to what to do. I understand that there are many obstacles in our relationship, but he's too important in my life to just give up on it. Any advice? What should I do?!
2007-03-21 19:45:20 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
They say that I am ruining their lives and that I don't care how they feel. They said they feel disappointed in me and betrayed. They make me feel guilty for loving him. I love my family with all my heart, but I love him as well. How can I find a happy medium and can I?
2007-03-21 19:45:49 · update #1
The child is with the mother living in another country, yet he still sees the child often and is a good father.
2007-03-21 19:57:45 · update #2
You are really taking on a lot of responsibility if you think about it. You are still very young, a child in most peoples' eyes. Now, you're taking on an older man who has a child. Since you stated he had the child when he was very young, I'm assuming he was around 15 or 16. That means the child is around 8 or 9 years old. If so, you aren't much older than the child.
Put yourself in your family and friends' shoes. If you had a friend telling you the same as what you're telling us, what would you think? Empathy is a very mature quality to carry. If you cannot empathize (put yourself in their shoes) with your family and friends on this one, you aren't ready to take on a child. :)
2007-03-21 20:02:23 · answer #1 · answered by VHagerty 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have to do whatever makes you happy. You have a right to be happy as well as they do. One of these days they will come around and realize that you love him. And you must remember you are the one dating him they are not. And if they disapprove then just let them disapprove. If you didnt date every guy they disapproved of then you would never be happy. All family wants the best for you and are just looking out for you but then there is a time when the have got to realize that you are old enough to make you own decisions and they have to let you make them and be happy. So i hope this advice helps you out somewhat and i wish you the best of luck
2007-03-25 19:29:16 · answer #2 · answered by key to your answer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good luck I lost my last, and the love of my life really much over the same thing except they didn't like me cause I am older than her and made her choose. I still hope someday it will work itself out and I can get back with her as it was the best. Just take it a day at a time and try to communicate how you feel to them as best as you can.
-NmD!
2007-03-21 19:54:20 · answer #3 · answered by NoMaD! 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your old enough to stand on your feet and make a decision for yourself... Don't let them decide for you your not a kid.. And they cant you for loving him because its your hearts desire.. Think of this your family or him? But you said that without him you feel empty... What is important? to your family that they only thinking of his background and outside look? Follow your heart... They cant stop you if that's what you want and you cant stop love either.. If that's the way you feel happy to be with him... go girl!!! don't live in miserable life.. I bet you cant survive this.. Just fight for him.. If they stop you tell them that he is the one that brings you joy and happiness...
2007-03-21 19:57:47 · answer #4 · answered by rhean s 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
normally i would suggest to love him anyways but there is probablly a reason all ur friends and family disapprove of him. As you had said he already had a kid. and at 24 he must be making some mistakes if he already has a kid with no mother. step back and look at the reality.
2007-03-21 19:55:34 · answer #5 · answered by knerd 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I totally agree with VHagerty.....
You are very young, and inexperience can be a terrible burden....
If your family doesn't like him, they must have several reasons.
Right now you cannot understand this because your emotions are stronger than your brains, but hopefully you will be smart and listen to what they are saying....I am not saying forget about him - just give yourself time to get to know him better.
Good luck....
2007-03-25 14:21:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well im in the same spot as you. im sorry but your 19 your famliy doesnt have to aprove about it but If you like him that much make it work. I've been with my bf for 4 years and none of my family member wanted us to work. still are even tho every hard. have a daughter together as well. If your worried about what your family says then ask your self you have to make a life for your self and not live their. I was doing that for the long time realized that but not soon enough but still working everything through. My opinion is make it work and tell your family that this is what i want dont approve then okay but you'll will have to at least understand where im coming from. I just told my family that and moving out to my b/f with our daughter. My family willnt talk to me or anything telling me so much it hurts in every shape and form. Im also trying to finish school and do what i need to do. You old enough to do what is right for you but if your life is empty with out him then its not worth kicking him to the curb b/c of your family.. heck mine have been together off and on b./c of my family. But realized what i did wrong i let them get in the middle of us when its not about them its about my family i created for myself. so what he has a kid from being younger everyone makes different decisions and we mess up and fix things. No one is perfect. Don't give up if he means that much to you. I've been going through it for 4 years now and still not willing to give it up and told my family apporve or im gone. he is basicly my husband. Im so in-love with him tho. how much does he mean to you meaning if you feel that way how much do u love him? telling him to hike the road or tell you family its my life and i will make decisions for myself.
2007-03-21 20:04:58 · answer #7 · answered by kristy_n_tx 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋