She asked me if I would be ok with letting my 15 year old daughter go to a wedding with her boyfriend. Fine but here the kicker, They would stay over night and the parents wouldn't be staying with them. I know my daughter is responsible and she is on birth control but I don't know what to do. Would you let your daughter go?
*By the way I trust her and her boyfriend, not to do anything stupid.*
2007-03-21 18:52:25 · 37 answers · asked by kt_lang 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
shes on birth control because her period can be unbearable (cramps) not beacuse shes having sex.
2007-03-21 19:07:33 · update #1
i'm not asking you to judge me but rather to judge the situation.
2007-03-21 19:10:55 · update #2
Ok so from personal experience:
My mother let me go on an overnight with my boyfriend when I was sixteen and I got pregnant. However, we had had sex before and I wasn't on birth control(I know spare me the lecture). Now i'm 30 with a 14 year old daughter who I couldn't love more. It turned out well for me but its your decision. If you do decide to let her go you need to talk to her about sex and i mean everything about it nothing should ne left out of the conversation. But if you decide not to let her go she will obviously be mad so have an explantion already planned out and discuss why she wasn't allowed to go. But if you want to be the cool mom let her go to the wedding just don't sleep over.
Good luck making your decision.
2007-03-22 16:58:59 · answer #1 · answered by dancergirlanna 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that is a rather odd request. Even though you trust your daughter and I'm sure shes a good girl, at 15 your daughter probably shouldn't be put into such an adult situation. At 15, I certainly wasn't having sex but being left in a hotel with my boyfriend would certainly make it difficult not too.
Think about it this way, just a year ago...she was 14...would you let your 14 year old daughter stay overnight in a hotel room with a boy? A year isn't a huge difference in maturity
2007-03-21 18:57:19 · answer #2 · answered by LawyerBarbie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Daughter is on birth control for birth control reasons or to regulate periods?? If she was my daughter, I would say NO. What are his parents thinking?? So you trust them not to do anything stupid, but do you trust their hormones?? If they are (excuse my language) horny and parents aren't there and birth control fails, are you going to be happy with a 15 yr old pregnant daughter?? Maybe you could compromise and offer to take daughter to wedding or go and stay with them in hotel or wherever?? She's 15, a freshman, sophomore at best?? You are the parent, if you say yes, in my opinion, you have failed her. Say no and daughter will be angry with you but 10 -15 years down the road, she'll be thanking you. You don't have to make excuses or lie to her, you're the adult, she's the child. It is your job to instill your morals and values in her. Here is a suggestion, call your mother and ask her what she thinks!!!
2007-03-21 19:05:30 · answer #3 · answered by nursegrl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, my parents think that I went on birth control because my periods were unbareable. They didn't realize I was having sex with my boyfriend until they found condoms in my room after we broke up (a year after we started having sex). So don't believe that for a moment.
Secondly, my mom trusted me more than anything else, but she had a firm rule of "no closed doors" which basically meant that we were not to be in a room with a closed door to ensure we didn't have sex. She never let me drive myself to his house, and never let him pick me up unless there was someone else in the car, etc.
I think letting them go is a stupid idea, no offence. My bf's mom encouraged us to have sex for some odd reason. You never know, but this woman could be the same way. Your daughter may be responsible, but be aware that the chances of her having sex are VERY high!
2007-03-22 00:33:02 · answer #4 · answered by bpbjess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What the heck is a 15 year old doing on birth control if your not expecting her to do something "stupid" .
What do you know about the parents? what are their limits? Is their definition of "stupid" the same as yours?
No way, I keep my babies close to home or with people who share my same values and that I trust and even then there is no way I would let my daughter or my son go on a weekend trip with their boy/girlfriend.
2007-03-21 19:00:55 · answer #5 · answered by ohbrother 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't let her. She may be sensible and trustworthy but there can be a lot of temptation in that situation. It's not unusual for someone to give underage kids alcohol, even if she wouldn't drink someone could slip her some and she'd be in no position to keep from doing something stupid. All of the romance and whatnot can turn a young heart past common sense. It's the same kind of thing as why bad things happen on prom night. See if you can arrange to have her stay with an adult nearby.
2007-03-21 19:00:28 · answer #6 · answered by Kuji 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think this seems odd at all. You should let your daughter go, but if you are concerned about it, talk to his mom and see about sleeping arrangments. If you say you trust your daughter and that she is responsible then let her go. If she is doing anything she will eventually tell you. I told my mom when I started having sex and I'm sure your daughter will. If you don't let her have some freedom she will end up rebelling even more. You should have confidence in your daughter to make the right decisions. I hope this helped you.
2007-03-22 01:50:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it depends if they're alone or not. Perhaps send her with her sister or ask that someone else be there too.
The fact that she's on birth control is actually a problem because if it gets too tempting, the idea of pregnancy won't be a barrier at all - I know it's saved quite a few friends from making mistakes they would later have regretted.
2007-03-21 22:42:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really shouldn't b/c your daughter is only 15. In most states, the age of consent is 16. As a parent, you could actually get in trouble for allowing your daughter to do so. If your daughter's b/f's parents would supervise & the kids would have separate rooms, then okay, but where will his parents be? Just be careful.
2007-03-21 19:06:19 · answer #9 · answered by sweet pea 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your daughter respects you she wont do anything. Since I'm not a parent I don't really know. But I am a 14 year old who has a 17 year old boyfriend. If you do decided to let her go I would talk with her before.If his mom made an effort to call and talk to you then I'm sure things will be fine.
2007-03-21 19:13:53 · answer #10 · answered by Keyleigh 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋