2007-03-21 18:46:38 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, he wants to have a baby now (number2) and then be done with it. (So he never has to worry about getting pregnant again) But, I'm only 22, I might want more....
2007-03-21 18:51:39 · update #1
Our first one (2 years ago) was an "accident" and lately I have been talking to him about having another- So, at first he was hesitant, but now he says "lets have another one, but then I'm getting a vasectomy." I guess he doesn't trust BCP...
2007-03-21 18:53:40 · update #2
First child is 2 years/4 months
2007-03-21 18:59:10 · update #3
I was 23 when i got one and it was a good thing cause we were done having babies with one of each. My wife does think now and then of having another, but the feeling passes.
One of those times she got a puppy and that worked for a long time.
2007-03-21 18:57:49 · answer #1 · answered by mojo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a perfect eexample of why getting into a serious relationship before the age of 25 is a complete mistake. You should have taken this time in your life to figure out exactly who you are and what you want in life, and then you could have found a man who wanted the same things. You, however, were in some kind of rush to get married and pop out a kid, and that's why you're in this quandry.
He wants to get a vasectomy because he doesn't want any more kids. He most likely doesn't want to have this one, but he thinks doing it will get you off his back. Just my opinion, but if his first reaction was negative, chances are he hasn't changed his mind. A guy who wanted to have a kid would heve been excited right away.
He also wants a vasectomy because you have expressed the idea that you may want more kids. There's nothing stopping you from going off birth control without telling him, and then he'd be stuck with a third kid. Whether you would do that or not, there are many women who do. It is a real concern for him. Having a vasectomy puts the control in his hands, and not in yours.
I don't think you should be hurt by this, he's just taking control of his future. I plan on doing the same thing. When my wife and I have a child, I am getting a vasectomy immediately after. I only want to have one child. I know this, and my mind will never change. Getting the vasectomy ensures that there will be no accidents (though my wife and I have been together for 8 years and have not had any accidents, because we are responsible). It also ensures that my wife can't change her mind later and try to talk me into having another kid. The vasectomy would instantly make that impossible.
2007-03-22 13:04:31 · answer #2 · answered by eviltruitt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your husband is being smart and thoughtful, in today's world 2 kids is more than enough and most men expect the woman to take care of the birth control. The only thing I wonder about is why rush child #2? How old is the 1st one? If the 1st one is only 1 or 2 I'd want to wait at least another year, then let him get it done. It'll be much better for your body if the children are a few years apart and it'll be good for you not to take the pill.
I just read where you added the child's age, there would be nothing wrong with you getting pregnant in the next few months and like I said not having to take the pill would be better for you and 2 kids is plenty.
2007-03-22 01:56:51 · answer #3 · answered by sharpeilvr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a decision that needs to be agreed on by both of you. Why wouldn't two kids be enough? The fact that you've had kids so young will let you be able to grow up with them. Sounds like your husband don't want to take a chance on your going against his decision on the matter accidentally.
2007-03-22 01:57:19 · answer #4 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me it depends on if the two of you have children. If you have children and aren't planning on anymore, then you should be happy with the decision. But.........if no children,and you are wanting them, I most certainly would be upset. Have the two of you sat down and talked this out? A marriage is a partnership and a decision like this should be discussed thoroughly and thought out before any action is taken.
2007-03-22 01:54:22 · answer #5 · answered by Safaia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't give enough information to answer that question. Do you have kids already? Yours, his, or both? What are his reasons? I guess I would be happy if my husband had well- thought-out, admirable reasons for wanting it done, and not just that the last one came out looking like elmer fudd. You know?
2007-03-22 01:55:21 · answer #6 · answered by Lesley M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not be hurt. There are too many people in the world. A vasectomy is responsible thing to do.
2007-03-24 21:53:08 · answer #7 · answered by Marvin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a decision the two of you must make together. Good for him for wanting number two! However, it is very kind of him to suggest that he have the procedure done, instead of you having to go through surgery.
2007-03-22 08:33:46 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on how your family situation is and how many children you already have. More info would be helpful. If that is what he wants then listen to his reasons, consider them honestly and tell him how you feel. It is his decision ultimatelly, and hopefully you'll support him.
2007-03-22 01:50:21 · answer #9 · answered by TNP Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your hurt already. It's his body. He has a right to do what he wants to it. Just as you have a right to get an abortion with out his consent.
2007-03-22 01:53:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋