I am confused. If you aren't sexually active and never been with either sex, how do you know? I feel as though maybe I have done something wrong. Like my little girl is different now. She is so pretty, and very popular with the boys and very sports oriented. I confused.
2007-03-21 18:43:05 · 13 answers · asked by seechelrun 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Even when they're little, kids "know" their sexual orientation, if they know the options available to them (as many, and you're daughter obviously does). Little straight boys get crushes on little girls, little straight girls get crushes on little boys, little gay boys get crushes on little boys . . . the list goes on.
Obviously, your daughter has felt the start of a crush for both sexes and knows what that means. It doesn't mean she's having sexual thoughts about them- she just has the same thoughts any young teen girl has- she wants to date and have a boyfriend or girlfriend, she feels those butterflies in her stomach. That's all it is.
You definitely don't have to have sex with men and women to know your orientation. By that logic, all virgins don't have sexual orientation. Yet that's obviously not true- there are straight virgins and gay virgins and lesbian virgins, all who know what they want and what they don't without having been in the sack with anyone.
Your little girl isn't any different- look past her orientation and see her for who she is. Just try to be a good, understanding mom and listen to her, and things will go well.
Good luck.
2007-03-21 18:54:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
You knew you were straight well before you were sexually active with a man, right? (Sorry, I'm assuming you're female). Sometimes people know. At 13, she may or may not be sure, but even if she's not the best thing you can do is make sure she knows you love her no matter what.
Your little girl would be different know even if she were just suddenly into boys. Kids grow up. :-/ She sounds like a neat kid; good luck.
2007-03-22 09:10:49 · answer #2 · answered by Atropis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree with tonalc.....you knew u where striaght when u wherent active so it can be t he other way around i was the same way i knew way before i was sexual active...its just something u feel but some people only accept these feelings after they have had sex and tried the things they where curious about and then sometimes u just know.....and its nothing u did wrong....i would be proud or her and give her some support she will need it.......at least she trusts u enough to tell u....i didnt tell my mom until a long time after......and she is popular with the boys and pretty etc...........just cause ur bi doesnt mean ur ugly and u only like girls....it means u like boys and girls and u can be pretty and do that u know....lmao
2007-03-21 19:16:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most bis I have known knew fairly early on. I was one of the exceptions, but I still knew before being sexually active. Being pretty and popular w. the boys is not a factor.
She'll be ok. Just teach her to respect herself and let her know that you love her regardless.
2007-03-21 22:49:05 · answer #4 · answered by maxdwolf 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has her hormones kicking in and looking at the human form in a totally different way than she used to. She may decide for certain when she is older what gender she prefers.
If your daughter does decide she is bi, she is not different, she is not a freak and you certainly didn't do anything wrong. Your love for your daughter should not change. Has her personality changed? Has her love for her parents or siblings changed? If your answer to both of those questions is no then tell me what has changed. Your daughter is still human and still needs your support during a difficult period.
2007-03-21 19:16:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, before you were sexually active and had never been with either sex did you know that you liked boys?
It's like that.
I wouldn't worry about though. It's pretty normal to be bi-curious when you are very young.
Peace
2007-03-21 18:53:07 · answer #6 · answered by DontPanic 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
How did you know that you were straight when you were 13?
You can be sexually attracted to someone even if you're not having sex yet. She's noticed that she's attracted to both sexes.
You haven't done anything wrong. She is still the same person.
2007-03-21 18:47:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
People have sexual thoughts and desires well before they have sex for the first time. She was one of the ones fortunate enough to grow up in an environment that allowed her to embrace her attractions instead of hiding them and hating herself for having them. Just continue to be a good parent to her and I wish you two the best.
2007-03-21 22:27:31 · answer #8 · answered by carora13 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're confused and she's confused. Give her time to develop into who she really is. Be thankful that she respects you enough to be honest about her sexual feelings. She may not be lesbian or bi ...or she may be....but you have done nothing wrong....the only wrong thing you could do would be to judge her and/or not listen to her...she is becoming her own adult.
2007-03-21 19:07:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would not worry about it that much at this point. Be concerned naturally as a parent should be, but don't take it like it is confirmed. Adolescence and puberty is a very tough and confusing time. If you read pieces on this matter, there seems to be a lot of personality, gender confusions and developments during this young stage. She is still developing and growing. What you can do is be there for her and be the best parent and role model that you can be for your daughter. God bless you.
2007-03-21 19:00:33 · answer #10 · answered by Aplus 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋