I married almost a yr. ago, and we have a 7 month old son. when my husband introduced me to his family then, i had bad feeling about one certain cousin! could be that when i met him he had a tatoo of japanese writing on his chest and told me that it meant "love". i got on the comp. and found out that it said "amber" which was this certain cousins name! in the meantime-shortly after being married i found some old e-mails that was saved on his pc while being in iraq. they was from her and he has had a serious realationship with her! not only e-mails but pictures of them having sex! i confronted him, and he says he is ashamed of himself for what happened and didnt want to tell me! i also confronted his family and asked them if they knew about this , they say no! in the meantime i am angry for accepting this person as my new family and trusting him being with his own family is another story! i love this man, i know he is the one and im scared! i dont harp on this daily ! please help!!!
2007-03-21 18:30:11 · 10 answers · asked by brn.eyed.grl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Love is a four letter word that will most certainly have you deal with another four letter word...Hell. So, if you love your husband, and he's damaged the trust of the relationship, let him know that it has to be earned again. Until you feel like he's trustworthy, you won't totally be happy or in a good frame of mind whenever he's not accessible. This is not going to be an easy task, so get ready to deal with the hell part of your marriage.
2007-03-21 18:51:34 · answer #1 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't blame you for being worried. Your next step, now that you have found out, is to think about some ways that your husband can make you feel better about it. For example, it would be good if he removed the tattoo. If he refuses such a request, you need to decide if you can live with his decision. You should then suggest that he does the next best thing that can make you feel better. For example, perhaps he should never call Amber or be with Amber alone. You need to think hard about what you want. On the one hand, the sexual thing might be a thing long in the past before he met you. But on the other, Amber is part of the extended family and at times you may have to lay eyes on her. If he is worth it, work it out, otherwise start looking for someone else.
2007-03-21 18:41:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm confused with whose who and who but let me make a guess...I think you are talking about the cousin mostly right? So I wonder why are you so concerned for this cousin at all. Yes he is family and all but still you need to give some privacy to people's lives and if they did not tell you is because they have a reason for it. So don't poke your nose into other people's business and just care about your own family matters. Every family has their own problems so don't make it worse. I hope you take my advice for this. Good luck.
2007-03-21 18:37:44 · answer #3 · answered by happy 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
WOW. Let me just say that when guys are in Iraq, they go to whore houses and get laid. IF he was willing to do his cousin, he's out there fing hookers. Sorry, but I know a few guys in the military and marines and they all said they got hookers and all the other guys were doing the hookers too. Sorry to drop that bomb on you.
Anyway,
That's not normal and uh... that's disgusting.. and that's just sad that you cant trust him with his own family... that just brignts out this question.. who WOULDN'T he have sex with?
2007-03-21 18:47:18 · answer #4 · answered by me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let this go. The jealousy is going to eat you alive if you don't.
You did not think your husband was a virgin when you got married? Few are. So what if he has a woman in his past? Get over it.
Otherwise, you are going to ruin your life - with jealousy.
2007-03-21 19:10:55 · answer #5 · answered by katrinaro 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sex with your cousin is one thing...but this takes the cake! I know people get tattoos that say "Mom" but I don't think it's incesteous...This is the most trashy thing I have ever heard...sure, screw her, take pictures, post them on the web...but emblazen her name on your chest...whew!!!!!! There's a comedian who said he tried to call in to work sick and the boss said...you're not sick! The comedian said
"I'm screwing my sister...Is that sick enough for you?"...He got the day off! I cannot believe how astonishing real life is...to hell with the trolls...the truth is a killer!
2007-03-21 18:39:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What business did you have to snoop into stuff that had nothing to do with you in the first place? And then you go and jump on his family with it? Then you have the gall to say that you LOVE him? That's not love honey. What he did had NOTHING to do with you and was in his past, it's not YOU who should have the problem with trust.
2007-03-21 18:40:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
LISTEN.................do you really love him? keep going through his stuff and if you find him lying you know hes cheating and why would he be ashmed of having sex with someone there has to be more to it. Maybe he still loves her. After all thats what her "name"(the tatoo) ment right. get some counsling and talk to him
2007-03-21 18:39:26 · answer #8 · answered by Cierra S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The past is the past. Let it remain there.
2007-03-21 18:36:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This was all before you were married so just let it go...
2007-03-21 18:55:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋