2007-03-21 18:27:16 · 19 answers · asked by Nora C 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Do you have a valid reason not to trust him or are
you just jealous , insecure & controlling by nature ?
Counseling is a total waste of time and money....
Tell your hubby your problem and ask for his help...
2007-03-21 18:57:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'm assuming that your husband has NOT done anything to betray your trust but I see that others who have answered are assuming he HAS and that's why you don't trust him. Maybe I'm wrong but I'm going to go with my gut:
I'm guessing you have had trust issues for a long time with other people as well as your husband. Seek some counseling even if it's just by yourself because you need to get to the root of the problem and the counselor will determine if your husband should be part of the therapy.
If the case is really that he hasn't done anything to warrant you being so suspicious then get help soon because it may end up driving him away.
I hope you are not in a situation where perhaps your husband hasn't cheated but maybe he's one of those men who likes to flirt a lot and then when you accuse him of being inappropriate he calls YOU crazy, in which case you DO need marriage counseling.
Good luck!
2007-03-22 01:41:21 · answer #2 · answered by mamabunny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must have a reason why you don't trust him and usually your gut feelings are right so don't ignore what you are feeling.Like most of us wives we tell our self it's all in our heads nothing is going on.You no your husband would not do anything to hurt you .That is where we go wrong we stop looking and seeing what is right in front of our faces the whole time we just did not want to see it. T hat is where the saying comes from the wife is always the last to no.Then it's to late to do anything about it,he has slept with her and has told her over and over how much he loves her.This thing has been going on sense the dawn of time and it will continue until man kind dies out.
2007-03-22 01:48:45 · answer #3 · answered by Teenie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your enemy is your own self! have you been unfaithful before? cuz such suspicious feelings sometimes reflects your own self... or your husband previously committed an act you have not forgiven esp. one that is related to the other woman in his life... a reason for you not to trust him... But hey! you are now married to him and its more important that you focus on why you married him in the first place rather than dwell on mistakes (if any) of the past. Forgive each other and move on. You can never move ahead if you don't forgive & accept the past experiences you had (with him or other people). You can't have a healthy relationship (to anyone) if you do not resolve past issues that you yourself is hardly coping through, brought by either bad experiences or your own thoughts. Life is too short to ever spoil it with unforeseen forces when you can actually choose to live the other way around and enjoy making happy memories to the person you vowed to be with for the rest of your life.
2007-03-22 02:44:15 · answer #4 · answered by jables 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not sure why you don't trust your husband if you already chose him as your husband.
You just need to choose to not have those negative thoughts that go on in your head. He is married to you, not anyone else.
I would consider on reading these two great books called, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage" and "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". I challenge you to read them. Hopefully, you will not have those negative thoughts again.
2007-03-22 01:33:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Simply by recognizing that only negativity can come from such a feeling, regardless if he has it coming, you need to overcome this because it will cause you to be the one who is unfair with your attitude within the relationship....forgive and let go of whats causing the mis-trusting feelings...nothing good can come from it...if you can't neither of you deserve to be in a relationship together...good luck.
2007-03-22 01:31:48 · answer #6 · answered by Goodspeed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is truly a "gut" feeling, and you KNOW what I mean, those feelings you get and if you don't listen to them, things go wrong--your gut is telling you something is amiss with your hubby. You have choices:
1- Ignore it, like SOOOO many other wives do- they turn a blind eye to their husband's infidelity.
2- Confront him- this could be ugly but it would keep your sanity and give you peace---and if he denies it--watch his body language as he denies it-- shifts eyes, tilts head, fidgets with hands--- as any poker player will tell you those are signs of lying.
3. Talk to him- have him admit to it- if he is willing to give her up and promise to be faithful to you, you both can move on together.
The third would NEVER be an option for me, I never shared toys and I'm not about to start at my age now.
Good luck to you..........you may want to talk to a professional counselor before you move ahead with any decision.
2007-03-23 00:41:50 · answer #7 · answered by mac 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That depends on what he did to break your trust in the first place. If he cheated on you before I wouldn't trust him, if he hasn't try checking up on him every so often. If he is where he said he was going to be then I would stop worrying.
2007-03-22 01:36:51 · answer #8 · answered by Jared K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time, more time, and even more time. I have been divorced for 17 years and I would never trust my cheating ex wife ever again if she wanted to get back together. Once a cheat, most always a cheat.
2007-03-22 01:29:46 · answer #9 · answered by Kill_Me_Now! 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marriage Counseling
2007-03-22 01:28:57 · answer #10 · answered by Hey you! 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Deception is an Alpha male evolutionary based skill - helping to move his genes forward
Odds are an honest nice guy would bore you
Undoing evolutionary baggage is not likely, most females are hardwired as such
2007-03-22 02:23:08 · answer #11 · answered by JET99 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋