My parents relationship died over 20 years ago. My mom has been terminally ill over the last 4 years and died 4 months ago. I never in my whole life seen my parents hug, kiss or say I love you. My dad is now getting married and everyone in the family is good with it but one sibling. We think it's great! What can we say to that ONE person to get them to feel it's okay? He is an adult after all..and asks for our blessing not an approval.
2007-03-21 17:24:08 · 19 answers · asked by lsis3d 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Tell your sibling that it is extremely normal and common for men to remarry quickly after a spouse dies. Remind your sibling that your father stayed with your mother through very tough times and that was noble of him. Maybe he had the blessing of your mother to start a new relationship when she was gone...either way, your sibling will come around. Your father probably just wants a companion, it is very uncomfortable for men to be alone after being married for so long.
good luck, and I hope your dad is happy!
2007-03-21 17:57:11 · answer #1 · answered by katiebug 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry for your loss. He is an adult and not acting like one. Three months? that is not right. People have lost the respect. What is the rush? Both are acting wrong. Why not wait at least a year. Don't understand people these days. He is not thinking specially asking for an approval. Just think if it was the opposite how he will feel?
And the person that is marrying him should have some decency to wait. By the way is not a matter of how long he stayed with your Mom is the principle that she passed away and three months after they are celebrating!
2007-03-21 17:37:46 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well dear, Its kind of difficult to say wheter its wrong and right, perhaps we must think wheter he needs or not????Dont be surprise my dad did the same when my mom died after 3 months. There will time when he will realize his action and say that maybe he shouldn't and appreciate the life with your mom. Believe me he will. But that is his life and he maybe need a companion though not so soon, You only can hope that he doesn't have any problem. Dont worry you will eventually get over this feeling and go on with your life.. Its must be hard not to have your mum. God bless you and I hope you have someone always to rely on.
2007-03-21 17:40:12 · answer #3 · answered by Larisha 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It does not matter about the relationship with your mom having "been over" for over 20 yrs. The fact, providing that they were Married this whole time, until her passing, 3 onths after is way too soon to get married to someone new. Unless it's someone who has been in "the background" for all this time, waiting. It is best to NOT make any major decisions for the first year of the spouse passing. There can be too many different emotions and thoughts going thru the surviving spouse's being that it is best to wait. I'm sorry for the passing of your mom. I have a friend whose mom passed away, and her dad married someone else 6 months later. He admitted to my friend later, that it wasy too early to be getting married after his wife had passed away. As for your sibling, it is up to that one to work this out with him/her self, and your dad. Take care.
2007-03-21 17:39:14 · answer #4 · answered by SAK 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Im sorry for your loss. But that one person that doesnt feel the same as the others will just have to accept it. There is always one in any decision making that will not approve. In meetings, conseling, ect. I really think that your mom will only want happiness for your dad. you and the rest of your crew will just have to move on and leave the one behind.
2007-03-21 18:37:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This seems kinda fast but it is up to him as he is your dad and if he is ready to marry again so be it and just be happy for him. I dont think their marriage was that good or stable and maybe they were not really happy together and they may have stayed together for you kids. The one sibling will just have to learn to adjust and accept it as he is an adult and has the right to marry whoever he wants to marry. Good luck to him and to you guys as well... I wish him the best with his life and upcoming marriage. The one sibling will come to learn to accept it over time.
2007-03-21 18:19:24 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Even if your parents had had the happiest marriage in the world, it's been at least FOUR YEARS since your father had the kind of love he deserves. And he suffered through that illness with your mother. He deserves happiness now. To deny him that is selfish. The one sibling should be told that it's selfish to deny Dad the right to be happy at last. If your sibling can't give him that, then everyone else should gather round and be there and forget that one sibling who is being so stubborn and selfish.
2007-03-21 17:38:52 · answer #7 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Your words in your question say a lot, if you explain this situation to the one sibling as you state in the words in your question that should do it, relationship was dead long before your Mom past away. May the GREAT SPIRIT BLESS YOUR MOM
2007-03-21 17:34:42 · answer #8 · answered by sirmrmagic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is to soon myself and i can see your sibling being hurt... maybe things had been going on with your dad and his future bride prior to your mothers death.... that's an whole different trip... i am sorry you never saw your parents loving on one another.. maybe they stayed together for you and your siblings.. a marriage without love is not worth staying for in my book.
2007-03-22 02:08:24 · answer #9 · answered by MJ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is great to.. Sounds similar to my life. Your dad still has a lie to live and if your mom was here the first think she would say is...she would want your dad happy. If you can't convince the one person to be okay with it then you really just need to leave them alone with their own grieves for the situation.
2007-03-21 18:02:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋