So I have been dating this girl for 6 years and she and I have talked about marriage a lot lately. She lives in Boston, I am in Los Angeles. She is planning on moving out here soon with the expectation that I propose beforehand. I just don't think I can go through with it. I know in my heart she isn't the one for me. I am freaking out...what do I do? It will crush her (and me)!
2007-03-21 17:22:10 · 27 answers · asked by micg70 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Tell her before she moves to LA! You owe her that much after 6 years together.
Then, end the relationship so that you both can go find "the one".
2007-03-21 17:25:31 · answer #1 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I can only think of two things why you don't want to marry her. You have started seeing someone new and you think she's the one (maybe) OR your girlfriend is so good in the sack and she's the best you've ever had and when it comes down to commitment your afraid the sparks will die and it won't work out. Is she just a screw buddy? For 6 years? Just think about it. Say your girlfriend were to come to you and say "BYE-BYE" and tell you it just isn't going to work out. Maybe YOU need your HEART broken to see what she really means to you with a fear that you've lost her for good. Maybe that's what you need??? Never know, that just might happen. Women pick up on those things more than you know. She may be thinking the same thing?
2007-03-22 00:46:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her the truth, in person. She may feel the same way you do. It is possible you are both just not wanting to be alone. There are worse things in life than being alone. It is also possible you just have cold feet, it happens often. That's why I said tell her in person. You two need to talk, 6 years is a long time to give up on without a good old fashioned conversation. Good luck to both of you.
2007-03-22 00:30:53 · answer #3 · answered by Paula T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to have to tell you this, but you have had that flash of reality that has already told you what you should do.
It will be painful but you must be honest, tell her you cannot fulfil her expectations.
You will save your self the further heartache of undoing all the damage hurt and unhappy arrangements.
Good luck to you, it will be better in the long run. Maybe you will be able to repair a friendship afer you have been frank and you are both over the shock.
2007-03-25 20:05:47 · answer #4 · answered by just me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not doing her any favours by leading her on. Do you not want to tell her because you don't want to hurt her, or is it really that your doing it for yourself because the break-up might get difficult?
Ultimately I'm sure she wouldn't want to continue with a marriage you didn't want. The sooner you tell her, the sooner her heart can mend and the sooner you can get out of a relationship you clearly don't want to be in.
2007-03-22 00:38:25 · answer #5 · answered by kmlloveplant 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be a schmuck tell her before she moves all the way across the country. It may hurt her for a while but at least she will be in an area where she has some support.
GROW UP!!!!! and quit leading her on
2007-03-22 00:27:50 · answer #6 · answered by simplyme 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
While it's nice that you don't want to hurt her feelings by telling her she isn't the right one for you, you will only be doing yourselves more harm than good if you don't discuss this with her. It's better that she know now, before she makes the move to LA. Better that she knows now rather than later.
2007-03-24 13:29:59 · answer #7 · answered by Tweety 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know in your heart that she is not the 'one' for you... why are you still with her. You are only leading her on, and the longer you do that the more you are going to hurt her. You need to tell her the truth about how you feel & most definately DONT marry her if you are not CERTAIN she is the one.
2007-03-22 00:29:02 · answer #8 · answered by Stacie_Michele 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all if you feel like this then why dont you just be honest
with her and tell the truth. but why if you know that she not the
one for you that you would date this girl for 6 years. both of
you deserve better then this. time to put thing on the table.
do it before she move if she moving for you.
2007-03-22 00:29:55 · answer #9 · answered by luckystar 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why have you been talking about marriage if you truely know in your heart she's not the one.?
The best thing you can do is to be true to yourself and her.... if you dont do it now, whats going to happen later on (if you do get married) Knowing that she wasnt realllly the "one" and when you meet the "one" you will know and have no hesitations, goodluck.
2007-03-22 00:29:00 · answer #10 · answered by smileyone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋