what type of discipline to use on a teen when he thinks homework is not a priority.?

Answer 1

whatever discipline you use (good suggestions here) i think it's important to teach kids the connection between homework, grades. college, future- not necessarily in that order. i think alot of teens are motivated by money- just in general, AND when it comes to choosing a career- so if you started at that end (how much their paycheck is going to be if they are working at taco bell vs. being a lawyer, etc.) and worked your way back to homework- it could be more effective.
i also wanted to ask if he/she is not doing it when YOU want it done. i used to insist that homework was started the moment they walked in the door. after a while i noticed my older son seemed to be taking SO much time and getting frustrated easily- even at fairly easy homework. after i thought about it, it seemed like it might be too much stress for the kid. i mean, when i come home from work, i try to take a few minutes to decompress before jumping into something else- so why shouldn't my son get the same break.. i tried letting him take a cartoon break, but after awhile it was switched to a play-outside break. now it takes less time to get the stuff done, and i don't have to nag anymore- he knows the routine.
teens are always trying to test the boundaries- but you are doing the right thing- don't let this one go!
take care!

Answer 2

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Answer 3

I have six kids, four are in school, but only 2 are teenagers so far. My 6th grader wouldn't do a stitch of his homework if we didn't keep on him about it, although he's a straight A student when he puts forth the effort. But as the parents, it's our JOB to ensure that our kids learn good study habits. In my house, homework isn't optional. They walk in the door, put their shoes & stuff away, have a snack, and get started on their homework. Only after all homework is completed, can ANYONE turn on a TV, get on a computer, etc. So when one kid has a lot of homework, the others try to encourage & help out if possible (without cheating obviously).

The two youngest who aren't in school are the ones who get the crappy end of this deal. They are confined to their room upstairs for "quiet time" (neither really naps any more) during homework time. But that's good for them too. I just feel bad that it's imposed because of their siblings' schedule and not just done for their own purposes... sigh. Nothing is perfect 100% of the time.

That's how it works in my house, though. Hope this helps you some!

Answer 4

You can take away the teens privileges, or computer, cell phone, tv, stereo, whatever. If that doesn't work, which it didn't for my teen, I sit at the table every night with him as he does his homework. He doesn't leave the table til it's done. If this still doesn't work, like it didn't for my teen. I then contacted his teachers and principal. I explained that my child felt homework wasn't necessary to life. With their help, I keep track of what assignments are due and when, what homework is given and I also told my teen and the teachers, IF my child didn't start doing and turning in his homework, I'd come and sit in each of his classes with him. This did the trick. It made my son uncomfortable that I was able to contact his teachers any time and get information. It also made him uncomfortable to think I might come and sit in his classes with him and his buddies. I have also done away with phone calls from his buddies. I have done away with going to friends houses, or any events at school. His time is spent at school, or at home doing homework. I don't let up cause if I do, he'll be back to doing nothing. Mom to 3. I understand your frustration.

Answer 5

The first question is where have you been during his school years and why didn't you help him find out how interesting and important school is.Anyway let's consider you haven't done it.Now you want to use discipline over your teenager.WHY?Will any punishment help?Or just will make the situation worse?Do you really want to be involved in a power fight because that's waht is going to happen if you try to discipline him with punishments.If you punish him,what do you think - he will obey like a sheep?Try again.He won't obey at all but just will become more rebellious or even hideous.He will think "She can punish me but I won't do what she wants" and trust me,he is not going to do it that way.
The key is just to talk with him.Tell him something like "I'm worried about your homework becase I know how important school is and how much can you take out of it and how much it can help you in life to find a well-paid job" and let him say what school means about him.Then tell something like that "I know it's your responsibility and I won't mess with you but I just want you to rethink what school means about you and how usefull it could be for you" and then leave the room.Don't make him do homework just because of you.He has to decide to do it for himself.If not,doing it for you won't help at all.Sometimes teens need to reach the bottom in order to wake up and see they can do more than it.

Answer 6

I agree with the other reply... Restrictions. No phone, no computer (other than related to study and closely monitored), no television, no going out with friends... until homework is completed each day (make him show you proof of his work!) and/or until grades begin improving (if grades have become a problem). Don't take his word for it that the work is being completed. Get involved in his academics and feel free to ask to see his completed work. Also you can put calls in to his teachers to make certain he's pulling his weight!

Good luck! I don't envy you! :) I'm sure I'll be in your shoes in about 12 years or so!

Answer 7

The more involved you are in his life, the more influence you can have over him. At this stage in his life, start working toward parenting more by influence than domination. Exerting control...without showing interest in other areas of who he is..will be like trying to shove him back to toddlerhood. See what he's interested in, as far his career goals, and work with him toward those goals. Encourage any initiative you see. Of course, those are high-minded ideals from a mom who doesn't have teens, but will very soon. And I do a lot of watching of teens I admire and how their parents work with them. That's my best advice: pick out some teens you admire and ask their parents all your questions.

Answer 8

If I was still a teenager I would ALSO suggest for you to do nothing. But I'm grown now so I know for a fact that what Melanie says is in fact TRUE. I was a rebellious teen, and refused to do my homework, had bad grades. My mom contacted my teachers and was very close to sitting with me in all my classes until my grades improved!! And I knew that she meant it, and it also showed me that she really cared, so I promised her I would get better, which I did. My mom was always very strict in that area, she kept in touch with my teachers so I knew that I had to stay in line. Yep, it works!!

Answer 9

Is it really not a priority or is it something else? My son did the same thing. Here after all the debating, I find out he needed glasses, and he didn't know how to read.

Answer 10

I would not use physical punishment. He will be more defiant if you do that. I would take away all his privileges. Explain that when he finishes his homework after school and you have checked it then he can do the things he likes like see mates, phone and computer. He will soon come around. You might have to take these things away where he cant get them if you're not there to supervise him after school