im 19 and me and my boyfriend have been 2gether 4 3yrs. Do u think we should marry?

Question

He is 27yrs old
were both virgins(mind over matter..literally)
We both go to Umass Boston as full time students
He loves me and tells me if he had the means to provide he would of done it a long time ago.
Every 1 asks us when were gonna get married
Were both ready, but he wants to b financially stable
I cry sometimes b/c everyone else is getting married except me.
His mom tells me all you need is love to get married while my mom says be independant and that im too young to get married

Answer 1

you can marry him... 3 yrs is long enough to understand a person... i u like him marry him.....

Answer 2

Both of you need to be on the same path - and yes, it would be nice if you experienced independence before getting married - that way you will know you can live without a guy IF for any reason something happens - it's also good to get a different view of life - it will definitely show you if you really think marriage is right. I've never understood why people ask others extremely sensitive questions like "when U getting married". I've often wondered why that matters to know right then - maybe I'm wrong, but marriage is not a casual thing nor something to do cos everyone else is. Yes, love is essential, and maybe 40 years ago it could have been all you needed - that's not realistic today. Love doesn't pay the bills, buy food, or put roofs over our heads. Right now you two are disagreeing about finances - he wants security, you don't think it's important... you're not on the same page - both of you need to try and find a compromise - meet in the middle someway so you both can be happy - if you don't learn this NOW, marriage will not work. Patience is a virtue - it's hard, but life is sometimes.

Answer 3

You're mom's right. Don't worry about when everyone else gets married... more than half of those marriages will fail... and often it's because one person depends on another two much, or neither are financially stable, or they marry for the wrong reason. You love eachother which is good, and if your marriage will last, so will a long engagement. Now if he wants too and he can support the both of you, then maybe it's alright... but it would be much better if you finish college first, or at least get close. This way, if something happens to his income, you will be able to get a good job if need be.

Answer 4

So you were 16 and he was 24? I'm sorry, dear, but as the father of girls, I would have taken him apart. Virgins or not, he had no business with someone so much younger. I would have serious doubts about the maturity level of someone his age dating a girl as young as you. He would have married you a long time ago? When? Before your prom? You say everyone else is getting married except you. Are these people also as young as you? If they are, most of them will end up divorced (most young marriages do). Marriage is not something you do "because all your friends are doing it". You're only 19. Finish school. Decide what you want to do with your life before you get that serious. By the way, his mother is full of it. "All you need is love" might make for a hit song, but it bears no resemblance to the real world, where marriage requires hard work, self-sacrifice, self-disciplne, and a lot of maturity, which I'm sorry to say-neither one of you seem to possess. Listen to YOUR mother.

Answer 5

first off you're only 19 you have a lot of time to think about getting married so you don't need to cry anmore. being financially stable in this day in age is a pretty good idea. marriage, especially in this country has a 50/50 chance of working out . . . and being financially stable would probably raise those chances for you . . . .

i'm glad you both are virgins especially 4 years together . . . it takes a lot of dedication, will power and patience and since you two have patience, he probably wouldn't have a problem if you waited a little while longer . . . when you know it, when you can feel that the time is right deep down in your gut, you'll take that leap of faith . . .

p.s. since marriage today has a lot of strings attached lawyers, financial things, it is not an easy decision because once you do it, you're pretty much stuck . . .

Answer 6

First of all, you shouldnt care whether your friends are getting married. If you feel like this guy is the one and that you can spend the rest of your life with him go for it. You have nothing to lose. As for financial stability, there are always ups and downs in life. With both of you being full time students maybe you should consider part time jobs. If that wont be enough maybe you should wait a little longer until you are able to provide for yourselves. Honestly love conquers all.
I've been with my boyfriend for three years as well but I dont want to rush into marriage because we both know we love each other and we eventually will marry but we cant financially get married yet. Just because you arent "pronounced man and wife" yet doesnt mean you dont love each other. Aside from your heart and love you have to think logically. Hope all goes well :)

Answer 7

I think only you and your boyfriend can really answer that question. However, you and your b/f should also ask yourself some questions. There is more to marriage than just money. Try to identify as many problems in your relationship now as possible. Any chance they can become bigger or more bothersome in the future? Are there problems below the surface that need to come into the open now? You should try to address these problems now. However, just because you can solve all the problems does not mean you should not get engaged now or in the future. Trust your instincts. Again, the people with the best answer to your questions are you and your boyfriend.


PS I know it's tough seeing everyone around you. I'm a 24 y.o. guy that isn't even dating anyone that is experiencing the same thing. I just deal with it.

Answer 8

Your mom knows what she's talking about. You're definitely too young to get married. Get your education, a good job, and be able to take care of yourself financially. Once you have all that established and if y'all are still loving each other,THEN get married. There's no rush to getting married and don't feel pressured to get married because everyone else is doing it. Marriage is hard work and its not a fairy tale or like the soap operas on televisions. America's divorce rate is a little over 50% that has to make you stop and wonder why. Just take it slow and enjoy life. You're young and you're in love. I assume he isn't going anywhere anytime soon so there's no rush to get married.

Answer 9

Your mom is right, you are too young to get married. You shouldnt rush to get married. If you know he loves you very much, you'll know he will wait for you until marriage can happen. Often times, people who marry at your age will end up getting sick of marriage life fast. You never know your relationship can last forever or at least for a very long time or not. Plus, you should finish school first and get a career before you think about marriage. Once you're married you have to live on your own with a lot of responsibilities. I would say at your age, just enjoy your life for now and have fun while you can.

Ive seen the same situation from my friend. My friend and her bf of 4yrs planned on marriage and having a family before they went to college. But things didnt go the way they wanted to when my friend's bf broke up with her when he lost feelings for my friend. My friend thought her bf was destined to be her husband because he was her first real love, who she seriously loved. So, just because you guys have been together for 3 yrs, which is very long, it doesnt mean you guys will be together forever. You never know what hapens in the future... But good luck if you do decide to marry him!

Answer 10

Statistics say that a marriage is more likely to last if the people have been together for at least 5 years.

Don't ever feel pressured to get married by others! It will happen when it happens. When you do things because of being pressured the outcome isn't always as enjoyable. (from my experience) It's also a very very smart idea to wait until you are financially stable.

Answer 11

No, its too early. Live life a little more and have some fun. Marriage is a responsibility, commitment, and for old people. wow 27 and still a virgin. I could see why he would want to marry but you are too young. He has lived life more than you. I'm not saying that it wont work out but remember that divorces are popular now a day and among young people. If he really loves you then he could wait.