how should i do this?

Question

Okay i know i've asked this question before but i hardly got any response. I know i'm gay but i'm scared/confused on how to come out to my family and friends... any advice?

Answer 1

i recently struggled with something similar to this... it gets to the point when everything you say has to be censored and you feel like youre lying... thats the time to tell them. just be honest. you should start out with something like "ive been meaning to talk to you about something for a while..." so that youve committed to talking about it and so that your family can mentally prepare for what youre about to say. let them know they can ask questions they may have to make them feel more at ease.

Answer 2

Just remember that coming out isn't a one time event. It's a process. Start with those you feel most comfortable telling -- or in other words, least threatened by. Either because you suspect they will have the most positive reaction or you have the least to lose if they don't respond well.

Don't fall into the trap of waiting for the "right time to tell" someone. Oh, it's too close to the holidays; now it's too close to their birthday; might as well wait until after their vacation is over, why spoil it for them? Those are all cop outs and there's never really a perfect time. Granted, if there was just a MAJOR life event (death, birth, marriage, divorce, move to a new city, job loss -- you know, the big stressors, you may not fair well by telling someone just after one of these events).

First and foremost, while it's important to come out when you're ready, don't do it if it creates a dangerous situation for you (e.g. you're living at home and there's a chance your parents will throw you out, become violent, etc.)

If you do this safely and with a little wisdom, in the long run, you will feel better about yourself because you can be yourself!

Good luck!

Answer 3

im straight but the best advice i can give to you is the real friends will stay and family is your dna, they will always be here no matter what and the right thing is for them to love you even if you are gay.. the deal with friends is sometimes i think friends get worried because they might think you'll like them or something and other times they worry what people might say about them because of the crowd your in... but like i said in the begining real friends stay no matter what, through the thick and the thin... and if they have a problem with the way you are "they are'nt real friends" im sorry to say that but no matter how much of a friend you think they are and they dont asept you because your you 'gay or bi', they aren'nt a true friend and theres so many people out there in this world, so why bother with them. i promise it'll work out for you sooner or later, it'll just take time and if you do lose some friends in the way, just move on.. you'll find some new ones and hopefully some better ones too...

Answer 4

Don't be scared, if your family loves you they will accept you for who you are and if they don't accept you then they obviously don't care about you.
First you should come out to your close friends before family because as is most always the case your friends will accept you before your family will accept you.
They will give you more advice than any stranger can.
You won't be happy keeping it inside, I would suggest you tell your family you love them and you don't want anything to change. Make sure they know that you're scared and need them at this time and then just tell them that you're gay.
They should understand how you're feeling, it's 2007. They can't be that close minded.
Good luck!

Answer 5

With your friends and family - talk to them straight - a comfortable space for both you and them - make sure there were no other issues -
your friend should be supportive - if not they were real not your friends- your parents may be confused, you may need have material about homosexuality - give them the facts, which could can find out about in gay/lesbian Internet sites

Answer 6

hon, it's truly up to you......no one else knows your family better than you do, and no one knows you better than you either so my advice to you is if it feels right tell them if you hesitate a little it might not be the right time, you have to determine what will be the right choice for you!!! You will know when its time to come out, it may be now and it may be never anyhow you will just know all on your own!!! Good luck and be strong in whatever you choose......don't let anyone get you down!!!

Answer 7

1. Don't make a big deal out of it. It's only 1 facet of your life.
2. Don't focus on the "what-if's." Istead focus on why you want to tell them.
3. Keep telling yourself that you have what it takes to come out. Believing in yourself can be a big confidence booster.
4. Tell people depending on how close you are to them and how close you want to be with them.

Answer 8

some times the best way to do it is just do it. I won't say its easy, cause i know its not. but they need to know. from there, its in their hands how they handle and react to the news. I'm bi and they're a bit weirded out by the fact, but they still love me. Family is family in my book, no matter what, you should still have their love and devotion.

Answer 9

Well...If your scared and confused...Maybe you should wait until you feel a lil more confident.. If you want to come out because your seeing someone and it would make things easier FOR YOU..The inform them

Answer 10

contact PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays). They have the resources and desire to help you with this...especially with your family. You have nothing to lose. Give them a try. They won't pressure you into anything you don't want.