2007-03-21 16:47:13 · 12 answers · asked by torn 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is a tough question. I guess what I did was just remembered the bad times. The thing is that it is a really hard thing to do alone. You need friends and a support group. Surround yourself with people in the same boat. It helps, but you have to do it all by your self. Join a support group. Or just hang out with good friends and family. It will get better I promise. The best things are yet to come. You already did the right thing, saying good bye, now stick to your guns and take the second step. Forget about it and move on.
2007-03-21 17:15:01 · answer #1 · answered by fnbug 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alcoholism is a very hard life. It is something that your spouse will have to deal with. The alcoholic believe it or not is doing the best that they can at the time. Most are really very nice people when not drinking. Being with this person you probably already know this. Please take the advice about Al Anon. It will help you. As for getting over the 15 year relationship, you wont as long as you love this person. All the alcoholics that I know are very hard not to love. It is a disease and treatable if the person is willing to accept the help.. Good luck and God bless you...
2007-03-22 00:04:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you need to do is go to Al-Anon meetings. You will learn that you were an "enabler" if you spent 15 years with an alcoholic. You can love this person,but you cannot, and must not, go back to him/her until and unless he/she becomes sober and stays sober first. Otherwise, you are letting yourself in for more abuse (which is what you tolerated for 15 years). You deserve better and the people at Al-Anon will explain all that to you and help you get over this sick relationship and move forward with your life. Very good luck to you!
2007-03-22 00:00:04 · answer #3 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! That's a tough one huh! I thought my relationship was tough but yours is even frustrating. I believe in love very strongly and i believe in the power of love. You definitely still love him why should you leave him. He actually need you more than he think he is. You thought he'd be better off without you?? I don't think so...
People with abusive habits need help... talk it over with him... sign him up with a rehab. You could join alcholic anonymous support group and learn how you can help these dependants. He needs you now more now than ever especially after 15 years... You'll the only person who can help him get through this...
Pray hard... let your love do the miracle... but no doubt its hard work... you must be very strong yourself... Good luck...
2007-03-21 23:59:05 · answer #4 · answered by fede 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run, do not walk to Al Anon. It is a group with similar problems as yours who have an alcoholic partner, family member or boyfriends. You will learn in Al Anon hope to cope with your feelings, how to take care of yourself, and you may even be able to help your significant other. Look in the Phone Book and go to tone ot f the meetings. It is a wonderful experience for you, and I promise you that you will not only help yourself but others as well. Please try.
2007-03-21 23:54:04 · answer #5 · answered by Alfie333 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know I was always told to go with my first answer, so first go out for a drink and get it off your chest, sodas work... But really you can not pick who you love, so falling out of love could be just as hard. Take time and look back on the things he did to your family and try not to hate him just remember why you left him in the first place...
2007-03-21 23:58:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't forget him/her. It's not possible after 15 years. But you can leave and start. I left my ex of 17ys. I still miss him. But he had commitment issues. I know what you're going through. It will be tough. There will be mood swings. Some days you will be happy. Some days you will remember. Good luck.
2007-03-22 01:01:01 · answer #7 · answered by crazyloonynice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just realize that there is ABSOLUTLY nothing you can do, you are NOT going to be the one to change that person. An alcoholic who does not want to change see's your feelings as unfair and unreasonable. SO my answer to your question is train yourself to MAKE THE NUMBER ONE PERSON IN YOUR LIFE "YOU"!! All the time you have taken trying to change them is alot of time wasted in your life! You sound like a person who values life... so, now go live it for yourself.
2007-03-22 00:00:50 · answer #8 · answered by Black Mamba 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
right now you are grieving the end of the relationship.
give it time, YOU WILL GET OVER IT.
just sit back and remember all the drunken nights and all the reasons you got divorced in the first place.
2007-03-21 23:55:25 · answer #9 · answered by KRIS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will take time. Have you thought about attending a support group? That may be helpful.
2007-03-22 00:21:01 · answer #10 · answered by Shanna h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋