He had proposed...Was it my fault??

Question

3 years ago my boyfriend proposed to me but i said we're both actually not ready for a marriage due to financial reason so we give it a hold. And a month ago he broke up with me... he said he can't feel me anymore... i was devastated, i'm still wearing the ring he gave me but now he's gone. Was it my fault for not accepting his hand for marriage??

Answer 1

No...but better it happened now not later. If the ring was not a birthday, valentine or Xmas present...send it back.

Answer 2

No. You've been around, he's been with you. You two have had a relationship. If the problem was financial, then you probably shared goals as well. With your sights set on marriage, it seems strange that the only reason he can give for breaking up is that 'he doesn't feel you' anymore. He would have been kinder to start talking about that seriously and trying to remedy your romantic problems some time ago instead of being so abrupt. Count yourself lucky that you have a broken heart but it is a failed engagement, not a failed marriage.

Answer 3

Hmm...some people want to be married more than anything, they want that commitment, some people won't wait forever. If he proposed to you, then it's quite possible that he still loves you, if it's only been a month. I'm sure you could get him back, if you wanted to, if you WANT to marry him. Go to him and tell him you are ready. (if you are) Secondly, if the ONLY reason you said no to marriage, was b/c of financial reasons, then I don't know what that says about you. Marriage means that you will stick with that person through everything. If you won't marry him b/c of money, then it was prob. best for him.

Answer 4

No it was not your fault. You are obviously an intelligent person, and your reason for postponing marriage was a valid one. If, after 3 years, he has no feeling for you,think about if you had married him and all of a sudden he decides that he has no feeling for you. You were dealing with an immature person,who probably has already found a replacement for you and who may have welcomed any excuse to get out of his relationship with you. I know it is hard for you, but when you put it all in perspective, you will probably come to the conclusion that someone up there is looking after you, and saved you from a disastrous marriage and heart brake. It will pass, and I am certain that you will find a more mature man to care about you and care for you.

Answer 5

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Imagine if you had married him and he 'got bored' (which apparently he did) you would have had to go through a divorce, and all the mess. Wear the ring or take it off - it doesn't matter. But KEEP it! You didn't send him packing - he left! You will get over him. What are you going to do if he comes back? Take a chance on marriage? I think you'd be waiting for the other shoe to drop, as they say. Whatever happens do what you believe is in your best interest! Don't settle for less than what you know you deserve!

Answer 6

It might have had a positive influence on your relationship if you had said yes, but that is not something you can say. Looking back you can always say "I should have said yes" or " I should have done that".

It's good that you spoke from the heart and didn't just say yes.

I'm confused as to why you have the ring. If you don't say yes, there is no engagement, therefore no engagement ring.

That aside, don't second guess your decisions. He probably wasn't ready for marriage anyway.

Answer 7

Three years is a long time to leave a guy hanging. I guess he figured if he was ever going to get married he would have to find someone else. If you really think he was "the one" you should have married him before now (as long as you are old enough). There are two thing is life you should wait for finances to plan - marriage and babies, because you will never have "enough money" to make the plunge, but if you just go ahead and do it, you will still get by somehow. If you really want to marry him, go tell him so.

Answer 8

Yes because not having money is no reason not to marry someone. My wedding cost a total of $2000.00 and I had a beautiful princess wedding. If you still love him you NEED to tell him mabey you can recover for your stupidity. Tell him you were stupid and you hope its not too late but you've grown up now and realized the error of your ways. Good luck sorry to be so honost

Its not that you turned him down for lack of love or a good reason like that but for no money what kind of girl are you I think the propper term is gold digger How would you feel if you were put on hold for 3 years because you didnt have money?

Answer 9

i think not accepting his proposal then was a good move. rushing into marriage when you are not ready is suicide.

but you said that it was three years ago. and he broke up with you only last month. i guess three years was too long a wait. didn't you plan marriage during the last 2-3 years?

unfortunately his patience has worn out. you can still try to work things out with him. but don't beg him to come back. if he really wants to leave you then wait for him to be the one to realize that he really wants you and come back.

Answer 10

No it's not your fault. The relationship just ran it's course. If he was really upset that you did not accept then he would've left 3 years ago when he first asked. You made the right decision. Most women don't have the courage to admit they aren't ready.

Answer 11

Once Upon A time doesn't alwas promise a happily ever after. If you both weren't ready then so be it. Marriage is something you can grow in to. You surely should be ready and, monitarily perpared. Try again if not with him, with some one else.