how do you know when your marriage is over? my husband gets made at me at least once a week,?

Question

for various reasons like coming home from the mall late, not making dinner, just a few minor things, and for a big thing too like asking my in-laws to move out of our house and live with their daughter instead(about 8 months ago), of course my mother in law hates my guts, when she lived with us I did not feel comfortable in my own house, she was always juding me, it is hard for me to have kids and when I finally got pregnant, I miscarried and my mother in law said I must of done something wrong to have lost the baby, we have been married for 2 years now and some days its great on others I just cry all night, when we visit his parents his mom always makes some smart comment to me when my husband is in the bathroom or not in the room, last week she said having kids is more important than having money, she knows it is hard for me to have kids, I told my husband and he said I don't understand chinese since I am american born chinese and get mad at me, I feel like our marriage is over

my husband really loves me, he will do anything for me but his parents are 75 and 76 years old and he worries for them, he is also the youngest child in their family, his parents, one of his sisters and her son are in the states, the other 4 sisters and 2 brothers are in Asia, he normally treats me really good and everyone can tell that he loves me, especially just by the way he looks at me, but this all started when his parents moved out right after my miscarriage, I think she gives him the guilt treatment, and of course his family dislikes me because I basically kicked his parents out, we love each other, and would not know what to do without each other but I feel like his family is tearing us apart, we both want kids so badly and all this fertility drugs is not good for my emotionals either, thanks for taking your time to read this

Answer 1

I think you should stand up for yourself. Tell her it's none of her business and tell your husband the next time she makes a comment like that you will no longer be joining him on visits. If he gets mad- too bad. He should be standing up for you anyway, and not subjecting you to rude and insulting comments.

You don't have to take this kind of treatment from anyone- not from your in-laws or your husband. If none of them can respect you, respect yourself and find someone who treats you the way you should be treated.

Answer 2

Damn. I can TOTALLY relate. I've been there and done that. I usually side with love but lately I've been feeling so disenchanted with love that I can't help but wonder what the hell's it all for anyway? Sorry hun. I'm not giving such optimistic advice right now. I'm not sayin jump on the phone with your divorce lawyer, but give each other some space, move out for a month or two, think outside the box, and then make a choice. Good luck.

Answer 3

First off, that is horrible of your mother-n-law to say that, tell her to go to h*ll. Anyways, it's simple, if you are crying even once a week b/c you are un-happy then you need to confront your husband and express how unhappy and sad you are. You guys really need to sit down and talk, maybe even try counseling. I would try to talk about it and work it out b4 calling it quits, though. But it is not good to cry all of the time. And if you don't think that you will stay with him 4ever, then you should WAIT on trying to have a child with him, b/c if you get pregnant by him, you will have to have some sort of contact with him 4 life.

Answer 4

Honey when you said your vows you didn't agree to this. This isn't just bad, these people are inherantly, flat out MEAN. They will whittle away at your self esteem until you're a quivering mass of suicidal guilt on the floor.

In short, plan your escape, find a safe place far away to live, and file for divorce. A better life is just outside.

Answer 5

Dear Betty I'm kindain the same s-----boatyou are in! Iam inthe most miserableofmarriages. Myspouse doesn't careifIlive or die. He filed fordivorce a few months ago.We have sincestartedtolive togetherbutIknow he has altertivemotives. He thinksthat Icanafford togive him thousands of dollars .He definatelysendsmixed messages

Answer 6

No guts no glory. get everyone together and have a HUGE discussion about all of this. Sometimes you just have to demand respect! When these people see that you care enough about yourself to stand up to them and not take their crap they'll have to stop dishing it out. If they don't, THEN think about leaving. A "man" is supposed to leave his parents when he marries his wife. They are no longer his priority, she is! Concentrate on making him happy, but not at the expense of your own happiness. You want to get him wrapped around your finger again not be wound around his!

Answer 7

Sounds like its taking an awful lot of effort on your part to stay where u r. On the other hand, he is not seeing your side of anything.
Definately not good.
If counceling isnt an option, I would say its time to cut ur losses and get out.
Sorry hun, just what i see.
It shouldnt be this hard to make something work, and u shouldnt be crying yourself to sleep at night.
Time to move on sweety.

Answer 8

It sounds to me like you need to end this marriage. It is not healthy for you and he's acting like a jerk. His parents are way out of line and why don't they have their own house anyway? You just need to leave and take care of yourself first before you can take care of anyone else.

Answer 9

this my opinion he might be cheating on u with another woman and 4 your in-laws tell your mother in-law if is so easy 2 have a baby tell her have one 4 u. and what u crying girl u can do bad by yourself and on top of it u want have 2 deal with his mother no more.