We were having a debate in class today. My professor said that in the work world, if a co-worker or boss asks you to get a sandwich for them when you leave for lunch you should never get it and say "No, I'm not coming back." He said because once you get a sandwich for them once they'll make you get it everyday.
I disagreed because I've never had this problem and I always believe that being polite and caring for people is the right thing, as long as you don't let them take advantage of you.
What do you think?
2007-03-21 16:00:18 · 9 answers · asked by citygurl8503 4 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
What's wrong with getting someones sandwich if you are going to that place anyway.
Now, if you're not going out for a sandwich and your boss asks you to go and buy a sandwich, that's a different matter, that's when you need to put your feet down and say, no, I'm not going that way, sorry.
2007-03-21 16:04:07 · answer #1 · answered by Ya-sai 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your professor generalized. There is the chance that they would begin to expect the sandwich, and there is the chance that it is an occasional occurrence. You seem to have a good sense of what feels right, and when others cross the line. Some will take advantage, and some won't. Some remember favors and some don't. Maybe your professor sees it as a power issue, in which the asker might be creating a power situation with you as the servant. An experiment: ask someone to bring you a sandwich and see how it feels. Does it make you feel powerful? Valued? Important?
2007-03-21 23:10:17 · answer #2 · answered by SIGGY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think moderation is always a good thing- which is what it appears you are advocating. However, in real life, it's extremely hard to maintain. You *do* teach people how to treat you, and avoidance is the path of least resistance, so about 95-98% of people will do pretty much anything to avoid a conflict. Therefore, most people will get the sandwich the first time even if they don't want to, to avoid conflict with the boss over it. As time goes on, if the sandwich is consistently demanded/requested, most people will continue to get it and resent the boss for it quietly. Rarely do people know when and how to put their foot down, so while moderation (being polite, but not being a pushover) is the ideal, it's not what usually happens.
2007-03-21 23:05:58 · answer #3 · answered by neamhni 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not everything that your professor says will always be right. While it is true that people CAN take advantage of you, you will never know until you try. Think of the opportunities to make friends that you will miss by not being polite. Think of the opportunities to advance in your company you might miss. Bosses rarely promote someone who refuse their requests. Now, sometimes the good guy comes in last, but many times being the good guy gets you promoted!
Now, if they take advantage of you - well, that is a discussion for another time.
2007-03-21 23:11:47 · answer #4 · answered by brevboy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are both right.
Your instructor was letting you know that if you allow people to expect certain things of you, they will. Including a sandwich for lunch (and if you ever intend to be a partner, that isn't in your best interest).
You, however, are correct too. Not everyone aspires to a partnership. Some people simply want to be the best they can be where ever they are, and if that means a sandwich, it's a small price to pay to be true to yourself.
Sorry I didn't have a more decisive and one-sided argument for you.
Live well~
2007-03-21 23:06:01 · answer #5 · answered by Jenny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you and believe we'd all be a lot better off if we offer kindness whenever possible. Picking up a sandwich for someone isn't a big deal as your professor is making it or some previous answers. If they were to make a habit of it and ask you to go out of your way, that's being taken advantage of. Self absorption has gotten out of hand as far as I see. Lighten up, people, geeze.
2007-03-21 23:13:59 · answer #6 · answered by leslie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i disagree with ur prof as well, he/she must have some negative experience prior to his work life before he said this kind of thing. u r right in a kind of way sayin about being polite n all, but i feel that it's more of give-and-take in life. ur colleague could be too busy to leave his work desk to help, so he ask u a favour. assuming one day u r e one too busy to leave ur work desk, would u want to hear that same damn thing?
but of coz, if ur colleague is to keep asking u is becoz he's lazy, then i'd suggest for u to maybe ask him to come along wif u for lunch, it'll b more fun n all instead of been alone. then u will not feel tat u r taken advantage of, n u can make life a little more pleasant for everyone.
or better, do wat i used to do, it's either we all eat together, or we take turns to buy lunch for everyone when there's too much work at certain days. this definitely works for me.
2007-03-21 23:08:25 · answer #7 · answered by kai 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your professor IS correct. You are still young and naive. It' is survival of the fittest...and If you let "them" they WILL take full advantage of you.
2007-03-21 23:06:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could do it once or twice, then if it becomes a regular thing find some excuses not to do it.
2007-03-21 23:08:15 · answer #9 · answered by Zelda Hunter 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋