(the opening of the film reveal a laboratory with a scientist, straining his brain really hard about something)
Arthur: Hmm i cant quite figure this out...(staring at a huge computer screen) Why does this seem so important? (asking his partner)
John: Relax and finish your takeout, i swear you never seem to take a single break in your life.....
Arthur: Dont get onto me for working hard, you never know quite when your about to find something big. Im going to run this through the analyzer real quick, just stick that food in the microwave
John: ok.....
Arthur: nancy can you run this formula through the analyzer for me real quick, i really need the explanation asap if possible
Nancy: Sure Arthur, let me see it...
Arthur: (Handing her the formula) It just seems important for some reason, im probably just thinking to hard but just incase....go ahead and run it.
Nancy: ok ill take now
Arthur: Thanks nancy i owe you one (smiling)
Nancy: Dont mention it, ill have it back to you in about 20 minutes.
Arthur: Good..(walking away he turns his head back to nancy)..Oh and nancy, could you not look at it, i kinda want to take the first look.
Nancy: (laughing) No problem Arthur. Now go on, i know you probably have some takeout just lying around uneaten somewhere
Arthur: (giggleing) You know me to well nancy, well i guess thats it, thanks again, for taking time out of your schedule to do this for me..
Nancy: Arthur?
Arthur: yes
Nancy: GO!!
Arthur: okay okay (laughing)
(the scene changes to reveal a big machine, with nancy standing in front of it analyzing the formula, when finished, she holds the paper walking up the stairs to take it to Arthur, but she can't help herself to look at it, she looks at the paper when suddenly her smile turns to a frightful yet exciting look)
Nancy: Oh wow, Arthur dosent know what he has done, THIS IS HUGE!
(running up the stairs, the scene quickly changes to Arthur eating his takeout and laughing about with his partner John, in the lab....Nancy quickly bursts in the door)
Arthur: Ahh Nancy thank you so much...(noticing her panting, and the look on her face he asks whats wrong?) Whats wrong, I dont like the look on your face very much...
Nancy: Im sorry arthur, but i read the report.
Arthur: WHAT!? Nancy i plainly told you i wanted to be the first to (he cuts his sentence off with a concerned look on his face) What exactly does the report say nancy?
Nancy: Now arthur we may want to go somewhere private to talk about this..
John: Excuse me? Anything you have to say, you can say in front of me....really i dont mind (smiling)
Nancy: Okay whatever, but this is big, no this is HUGE!!
Arthur: Nancy? Could you please get on with it?
Nancy: Arthur, What im holding in my hand, is going to make you the richest man in the world!
Arthur: WHAT? Wait wait wait, what are you talking about nancy? What was that formula?
Nancy: Arthur...you've discovered the formula for......
Arthur: For?
John: For?
Nancy: For....EVERLASTING LIFE!!
Arthur: (laughing histerically along with john) Oh my, thank you again nancy, I've really been needing a good laugh, but seriously now (giggeling) What was the formula?
Nancy: You think this is a joke? Seriously? I wouldnt make a joke of this...Look at the paper yourself! (nervously)
Arthur: (examining the paper thoroughly, mumbleing random words, but all of a sudden he stops reading, his eyes slowly become unglued from the paper) Oh my God..How can this be?
John: What? What does it say?
Arthur: (ignoring johns curiosity, arthur runs to his computer, and starts to type vigorously) Oh wow, OH WOW!! This can't be, theres no way possible THAT THIS COULD BE! (yelling angrilly)
John: Arthur what does it say? (slowly speaking) Was she....telling the truth?
Nancy: Of course i was telling the truth, like i said theres no way i would ever joke about something like this
Arthur: Yes john unfortunantly she was telling the truth (with dissapointment)
John: Unfortunantly!!? Oh my this is great..no this this (stuttering) This is AMAZING!
Nancy: (concerned & muting johns voice out she walks over to john) What do you mean....Unfortunatly?
Arthur: Whoa Whoa Whoa, you guys dont actually think were going to tell anyone about this do you?
John: (running to john and nancy) Of course were gonna tell people about this! What are you crazy?
Nancy: Are you serious Arthur? Johns right. We have to share this with EVERYONE!
Arthur: No we dont!! And we are not going to! Do i make myself clear?
Nancy: Arthur? Listen to yourself...This will make all three of us the richest and most famous people in the world, you dont really expect us not to tell anyone do you?
John: For real Arthur. I mean...science has been working on this for hundreds of years, we have to tell.
Arthur: NO WE DON"T!!! Don't you guys see what we have done? We've went against God's will! We have went against the laws of physics for Christ sake! And all you guys are worried about is fame and fortune? NO! we have to get rid of this and never say a word! Got it!
John: I'm sorry Arthur, but i cant do that, besides if we can all live forever then we dont have to worry about facing god for this sin! Sorry man, but i cant just keep this to myself, I'm only human.
Nancy: Yeah Arthur, im with john on this one, we cant keep this between us, God wouldnt have gave us the knowledge to create this formula, if he didnt want us to use it, Yah know?
Arthur: Dont you understand? The world will end one day, and when it does, your little ever;asting life potient is'nt going to save you! If god wants to take you, He WILL do it, and as far as you guys telling anyone, well all i can do is ask you not to obviously, you will be making a terrible mistake, if you do this!
John: and all i can say is that this is going to make us the most rich people to ever walk this planet, and you dont care a bit about that? I understand your religious, but im not and if i have to go behind gods back to do this i will! So thats all i have to say, if you want to join me, well you know what to do (turning away getting ready to walk out the door) well goodbye, and im sorry Arthur. (he pulls the door open and walks out)
Nancy: Sorry Arthur, I care for you and everything, but c'mon were talking billions, maybe even trillions here, sorry but thats just to much to pass up when its at my fingertips, I have to go with john (turning away to walk out the door)
Arthur: WAIT! (nancy turns her head while holding the doorknob) I just want to let you know, that i wont give this formula to a soul, ill die first, (getting angrier as he speaks) So you can go tell everyone and watch them make a fool out of you if you want, but this formula will not leave my side, so you go do whatever you want, but im out of here
Nancy: Ok Arthur, but ill be forced to have anyone i can come after you for the formula if you leave, It;s just to much.....you should understand that (she walks out the door and shuts it)
(all alone in the laboratory, arthur becomes filled with rage, and starts to destroy his computer and anything else that may provide proof of his discovery, however he does not destroy the paper, for he figures he may find some other use for it in the furure)
Arthur: (speaking to God) What have i done Lord? I never meant for this to happen! Now its too late, I dont know what to do
(he runs out of the laboratory realizing how little time he has to leave the state. he jumps into his car and spins out of the parking lot, speeding home he sweats more and more trying to decide what to do about this, he arrives at his house he jumps out of his car leaving it running, and he runs inside his house, going straight to his bedroom, he opens the closet and grabs an empty suitcase, he runs to his wardrobe and fills the suitcase completely full of clothing, he runs back to his closet and grabs another empty suitcase, he runs to his bed and reaches inside a hole on the bottom of his matress, and pulls out a big wod of money, he puts it in his suitcase, then makes his way to the kitchen, he opens the refridgerator, and grabs out random food items and fills the suitcase full of them. then he runs out to his car and throws the suitcases inside the car, shuts the car door, and spins out of the driveway wrecklessly and then we see his taillights growing smaller as he drives down the road)
SCENE II
(scene changes to a room filled with computers, each one occupied by men in white labcoats. all of a sudden Nancy & John Burst through the door, panting frantically...everyone turns their attention away from the computer monitors to Nancy and John)
Nancy: Sorry for the interuption folks but we must speak with Dr. Semore Immediatly!!
Man in labcoat: (confused) Sure.....down the hall, 3rd door on the left..
Nancy: Thank you so much!
(her and john continue running through the computer desks to the hall, They come to the 3rd door on the left and enter carelessly)
Nancy: (trying to catch her breath) Dr. Semore! We must speak with you NOW!
Dr. Semore: Well im sorry Nancy but i am very busy at the moment, cant it wait?
Nancy: Sir, no disrespect, but whatever your doing is going to have to wait!! We've discovered, what every scientist in the world has ever dreamed of discovering!!
Dr. Semore: Okay...Well what is it?
John: sir, brace yourself for this....
Nancy: Dr. Semore, we have discovered....(hesitating, afraid hes not going to beleive her) the formula for everlasting life!
Dr. Semore: (starting to laugh, but then noticing the serious look on john and nancy's face, he straightens up his face) Nancy it isnt like you to make jokes out of scientific material.
John: sir, this is no joke.
Nancy: Dr. Semore, in all the 8 years you've known me, have you ever known me to joke about soething like this?
Dr. Semore: Oh my! My my my my my....Your serious? You have discovered an everlasting life formula?
Nancy: (releived he beleives her, she shows a smile of releif) Yes sir, Im so glad you beleive us
Dr. Semore: Well Well....Okay..show me the formula!!!
John: well actually sir, thats why we need your help, You know Arthur Riley, down in Lab 6 right?
Dr. Semore: Yes Yes Arthur, good man, but what does he have to do with this?
John: well he was actually the one who found the formula, but he didnt agree with us sharing the formula to anyone so he took it and ran, he said he was leaving the state, before abunch of riots started, thats why we need you to help us duplicate, the anylization, so we can get a copy of the formula.
Dr. Semore: is this some kind of joke? Are you being completely honest with me? (trying to beleive them, but not very sure, he examines their faces)
Nancy: Dr. Pleases just beleive us and come down to the lab with us, so we can prove it to you..
Dr. Semore: Well why not, you say you have proof?
Nancy: Yes it should still be stored in the analyzer, thats why we need you to help us out, will you?
Dr. Semore: well we've not got no time to lose, LETS GO!!
(they drive to the laboratory, pulling in the parking lot they jump out of the car and run to the doors, they enter the building, and get in the elevator, to excited to speak there is an awkward silence, through the whole elevator ride, the door opens on the 6th floor and they run impatiently to Lab 6, they open the doors and see the destruction Arthur had done earlier, Their in complete shock)
Dr. Semore: WHATS THIS??
Nancy: oh my god! Arthur has went insane! He's destroyed everything
John: I can't beleive him! Now what are we to do
Dr. Semore: yes Nancy....What are we to do (with a dissapointed look on his face)
Nancy: This isnt a problem, The analyzer isnt in here, its downstairs in the basement Lab, I just hope he didnt do anything to it, ohh if he did (angrily she cuts off her sentence)
Dr. Semore: well lets go see... (still dissapointed)
John: Arthur has popped his cap finally!
(the scene quickly changes to reveal the basement lab, the camera is focused on the door, and suddenly, they rush in the door hoping Arthur hasnt destroyed the Analyzer, they make their way down to the machine)
Nancy: (extremely filled with anger, dissapointment, failure, and sadness) Oh no, oh no!!! Its completely destroyed....theres no way of getting the formula now!! If i find Arthur I WILL kill him!
John: WAIT! its only been about an hour, we may be able to catch him!
Dr. Semore: okay if you guys are being completely honest with me, i can pay the FBI to find him, and retreive the formula?
Nancy: (filled with releif) Oh sir you know were not joking, we wouldnt go through all of this if we were joking
Dr. Semore: Okay You guys just go on home and i guess ill go tonight and hire the FBI to find him.
Nancy: Thank you so much sir, you wont regret it
Dr. Semore: Lets hope Not!
John: oh sir beleive you me, You WONT!!
(They all leave the lab and make their way home the camera focuses on the sky wich quickly turns from night to daylight, then the camera focuses on Arthur Driving down the road, he approaches a convienent store, he pulls up to get gas, after he has pumped his gas he walks into the store to pay the cashier, also looking for a softdrink, he goes to the cashier to pay for his gas and soft drink when 2 men in suits walk through the door, they approach Arthur and ask him if is name is arthur riley, He starts to sweat when he finally tells them yes that this is his name. suddenly they pull out there badges and say sir your gonna have to come with us, this breaks Arthur to his breaking point, he pulls out a gun from his pants that he had earlier packed, and opens fire on the two man, and the cashier)
(the scene quickly changes to see Arthur laying in the floor of a cell of some sort, he discovers that he is in an insane asylum, but he does not remember shooting the men or being arreseted, he stands up and notices a man in the cell with him, a really big man, he turns to the man to talk hoping for an explanation)
Arthur: (very confused) Excuse me sir, can you tell me where i am?
Sammy: Your in the Safety mental institution in Touscon Arizona, Hi my names sammy, people call me Sam.
Arthur: im sorry but im very confused, how did i get here, what did i do?
Sammy: You should know
(suddenly Arthur collapses to the ground and starts having some sort of flash back, he see's himself shooting the 2 men and the cashier, he comes back to reality)
Sammy: Hey, Hey, you ok?
Arthur: (dizzy) What just happened?
Sammy: I dont know you just fell on the floor.
Arthur: I saw myself (confused and hesitating) Killing 3 people...
(suddenly he falls on the floor again, only this time he see's himself walking up to a house, with a gun in his hand, he see's himself opening the door and killing a happy family of 4, he comes back to reality)
Arthur: (this time not dizzy he jumps to his feet) Oh my god, it happened again, only this time i saw myself killing a family of people
Sammy: I know...
Arthur: you know what?
Sammy: i know what you saw
Arthur: how could you possible know what i saw?
Sammy: I dont know, i just saw it when you fell on the floor, it passes through my mind like i was there watching it
Arthur: whats going on here man? Are you some sort of freak?
Sammy: no im serious, i saw it
Arthur: How many girls were in the family i killed?
Sammy: The mother and the daughter, thats it
Arthur: (amazed at his correct answer) What the....how did you do that?
Sammy; like i said, I DONT KNOW!
Arthur: (arthur reaches in his pocket, releived to realize his formula is still there) yes thank you
Sammy: for what?
Arthur: Oh im sorry nothing
Sammy: you have the formula dont you?
Arthur: (confused and scared) Why would you think something like that? Formula for what?
Sammy: you know exactly what im talking about, ive been seeing it in my dreams for about 2 months now, and i didnt know why, until now, i thought you looked familiar
Arthur: wait you saw me?
Sammy: yeah....in my dreams
Arthur: look i dont know whats going on here but im going to go along with it for now, so you know i have the formula right?
Sammy: yeah the everlasting life formula.
Arthur: Are you going to kill me for it?
Sammy: (laughing) No im not going to kill you, i also know that you dont want to have nothing to do with it, am i correct?
Arthur: Yes you are strangly?
Sammy: like i said, ive been having dreams about you for a while now. but anyway, i know why you killed those people
Arthur: Killed people? whoa wait just a second buddy, i didnt kill anyone!
Sammy: yes you did, you killed those folks in the store and in that house, why do you think your in here?
Arthur: Oh my god, Im going to hell! im so sorry lord!
Sammy: yea you probably are, but so am i, you have to put that aside, now like was saying i know why you killed those people
Arthur: why?
Sammy: Well you may not beleive me, but i saw it, and what i see, IS true, the reason you killed those folks, is because your afraid, their going to get that there formula of yours, and live forever and theres going to be alot of people going against gods will, and i must say, i would like to join you
Arthur: (strangly attracted to his own ideal) Wow, im afraid i must agree with you, (excited) Thats what must be done!! Thank you Sammy
Sammy: no problem, but first we gotta get the hell outta here
Arthur: and how are we going to do that?
Sammy: ahh you leave that to me! I could have broke out of this place years ago, but i aint had nowhere to go, so i really aint been to worried about it, now listen, they let us out of these cells during lunch time and we go to the cafeteria and eat, well, we have to ask for kitchen duty, and they'll put us pack in the kitchen washing dishes. well when they do this we go to the back room where noone is, and we cut the chain on the door that leads to the back hallway
Arthur: How are we going to cut the chain
Sammy: let me worry about that, like i was saying, we cut the chain and it will lead us to the back hallway, at the end of that hallway theres 2 doors that lead to the outside, well one is around a corner, but there are guards at those doors, so we will walk out of the kitchen unseen, quietly and we will turn the corner and the guards will be there, well we jump on the guards and snap there necks or some **** like that, take there keys, open the door, and run like hell, we can steal a car to take us to wherever. and we can steal a couple guns, for the job
2007-03-21 15:37:09 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Movies
i am a film student trying to make it big, so be honest please, and dont steal the ideal!!
2007-03-21 15:38:18 · update #1
i am sorry but i am going to steal your idea and make a big budget hollywood film....NOT!!! it suks big time and as the other person said too much is happening too fast.
P.s. i didnt even read it cause it was way too long.
2007-03-21 18:48:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Why did you write this story? Are you interested in the issue of science extending life or is it just a setup for a chase story? I'm asking because I don't see where you are going with this plot. Arthur could have destroyed the paper when he destroyed the lab and your story is over. What does he really want?
Don't state something in dialogue that the audience can see on the screen. You also repeat the same information too much by having characters reiterate what another said.
You need to know what your main character wants, why it's important and what is standing in the way. Good luck.
2007-03-22 03:15:19 · answer #2 · answered by Harbinger 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I might have got to divide it into 2 classes...Comedy and Drama. FAVORITE COMEDIES OF ALL TIME one million. I Love Lucy two. The Andy Griffith Show three. The Dick Van Dyke Show four. All In The Family five. Taxi 6. Cheers 7. The Honeymooners eight. The Odd Couple nine. The Mary Tyler Moore Show 10. The Office FAVORITE DRAMAS OF ALL TIME one million. Columbo two. The Twlight Zone three. Mission: Impossible four. Alfred Hitchcock Presents five. Perry Mason 6. The Waltons 7. Hill Street Blues eight. St. Elsewhere nine. Gunsmoke 10. LA Law
2016-09-05 11:34:04 · answer #3 · answered by pihl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not very good. Too much going on at once, and all at the begining. There is no lead up to what is about to come.
Not enough direction in the script. It reads very close to a play script, where there is no camera angles or important shots.
Tucson, not that abomination you threw out there.
It needs a ton of work. Is it trash? I cannot say. I can say that it is far too busy. Remember that you maybe have 3 to 5 minutes of film there. Most likely 3. Way too much going on. There is no focus on what is happening.
2007-03-21 15:48:49 · answer #4 · answered by Jam_Til_Impact 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds Great to me... Other than than The fact that Arthur says Nancy a little tooo much but it sounds Quite interesting to me!
2007-03-21 15:44:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋