what should i do?? i can't get through to him...?

Question

my husband and i have been married for little over a year now and we are exspecting our first child. however our relationship is falling apart. he has cheated on me twice, has lied to me none stop, doesn't keep promisses, doesn't even have a job!!!! i have tried talking to him, yelling @ him, threaten to leave him, and none of it works! he will be a "good husband" for a while the convert back to the liar. see i'm wondering if i do need to leave him and get a divorce, however i wish it wont come to that because i really do love him not to mention i want him to be there for the baby when its born. what should i do???? i don't beleave in cheating for payback either.

Answer 1

You have a baby on the way and you now have to think about what is best for that baby. Is the environment that you are living in right now the best to raise a child in?

This man won't change. He is who he is.

Answer 2

Sweetie, u have to leave, doesnt mean u have to get a divorce, sometimes guys hear the threat but they dont believe it because u've threatened so many times and done nothing about it, so u need to leave, IF he cares, he will hopefully wisen up, and make a complete turn around, thing is, u cant take him back right away, u have to make him prove to u that he's willing to be faithful and a good father as well as husband , IF he doesnt care and he's just been waiting for an excuse to get out, then let him go, U can force someone to change that doesnt want to be changed, and if he's cheating on u now, he probably always will, UNLESS he hits rock bottom, by u leaving him and showing some tuff love by giving him the cold shoulder.. but be prepared, because a man like this.. unfortunately will only change for a short time usually..and to be honest to u, u are nothing more then his security blanket, he will be yours and act like a good husband when it suites his needs, when theres no one on the side, and once theres someone else, he will treat u like crap again.. he doesnt want to be alone, but he doesnt want to be completely committed either.. so its time to go, pack up and move , if a light bulb goes off, then he'll change, but he has to want to change, and as long as u enable him to behave this way , he will continue to do this to u , i know its hard, but its make or break time, u have a child that needs a stable home, and thats either with or with out a dad, but him doing what he is doing now, will only cause alot of hurt for child down the road, so its time to make a change, and hope that he makes a change and if not, be pickier next time around on who u chose to give your love to..

Answer 3

Let me start by saying that I wish you were not in such a difficult situation.

I've been married for almost 18 years (same hot babe) and have 3 girls. I will try to answer your question as if it came from one of them.

You have not described a husband to me, but a guy that enjoys sleeping with you and eating your food.

Your child will not be helped by your decision to stick with a bad plan. Your first responsibility is to your child, then to yourself... a long way behind in third place (but still in third) is this man.

He sounds more like a little boy than a man- he could probable kick my a$s and I'd lay money he looks better in jeans than I do, but a man is what you are when you don't want to do the right thing.

If he is unwilling to be a man, loose him.

If he is unable to be a man, require him to get help. You need counseling as a couple, and he needs help as an individual, from a father figure- be it his own dad, a therapist, dude that he plays softball with or whatever.

If he is unwilling to get help, he is unwilling to be a man... loose him.

The killer of it all is that women are the ones that get pregnant, so being a woman is a little less optional.

Best of luck- and if I can be of more help, lemme know.

Answer 4

Leave. You don't want this guy to be your child's role model and to hear and see the fighting, the backbiting and all that crap. Also, he cheats on you and you are sleeping with whoever he slept with, disease, speaking. You don't love anything about him except the fantasy of what might have been. But it will not, he knows he can screw around and you will never follow through with any of your threats. When you make a threat you MUST follow through or you are seen as weak, helpless and dependent. You do not want your child to see or understand that either. You made a mistake,. Now don't keep making it. Go home to mom and dad and get some more education and get with a man who deserves you. Good luck.

Answer 5

Pray and wait for and listen for God's answer. I Went through the same thing and now have a 15 year very string relationship. In the meantime while you are waiting "DO YOU" act like ya don't give a SHHhhh about what he does and just be happy with you and do what you gotta do for baby & you. A wise woman told me that where the head goes the tail will eventually follow. The husband is supposed to be the head but sometimes us women have to take on the role until they get it together. If you love him stay and do what you gotta do. No one can tell you when you've had enough but you just don't be a door mat. And don't yell, it's not good for you or the baby. STRESS KILLS. Simply pray and act like you don't give a Sh** while you are livin in your happy pregnant world. I went through 2 emotionally hard pregnancies thanks to my hubby so I feel your pain.

Answer 6

He cheated twice, you know what you should do. No one could tell you what to do until you chose to make that move. When you are married and love your partner you don't hurt them. Something is really wrong with him. A baby is not going to keep this together. He should be there even more now that you are pregnant because you need him right now. Its only going to get worst. I hope you make a decision soon, that too much! He doesn't deserve you. Be stong for you and your child.

Answer 7

Normally I would say you need to leave but since you're expecting a baby together I would try to get some counseling or something first. I know it sounds kind of boring and cliche' but sometimes having a third party helps get through to your spouse. If that doesn't work than I would leave. He obviously doesn't love or respect you enough to be faithful and take care of you and you don't deserve that and either does your child. i hope you guys can work things out and be a happy family when your baby gets there.

Answer 8

I wouldn't dare recommend cheating as payback.............. do it because you have a right to know! You have a right to know .......... why he lie, why he cheat, why his promises are someone else benefit, etc. It's because he got lucky and found some bimbo that knows how to put it down. It would be a waist of my time and yours to pity your situation. If you get up off your a$$ and go find you one of those big ol' virgin, Kentucky, bear meat eatin', country boys, whose idea of exercising, is choppin' down a tree and building a shed with the wood. You'd come home with a smile so big, your hubby would think you was cheatin with the Dentist.

I'd bet he think twice before walking out the back door to take out the garbage.

p.s. (I hope you at least smiled)

Answer 9

if I understand correctly you appreciate, value and love someone who cheats,lies,doesn't support you and doesn't respect you. Is this the behavior you want your child/children to emulate. he isn't there for you what makes you believe he is going to be there for your child? I guess you could try counseling but if he isn't really in to it then I don't see where that is going to help. divorce may be the best option for everyone involved.. i sincerely wish you the very best of luck

Answer 10

If I was you I would stop telling him you are going to do these things and just pack your stuff and go... he is going to fallow you if he loves you come get you promise to change all that good junk.. keep him going let him know you want to work on things... Dont ever give up on something you think you can make work.. but he might see you as a pushover... good luck