Married for just over 2 years, very unhappy for at least 1. Totally and completely in love with another man who I have known for 9 years. Told him 2 months ago how i feel, and his response was that he thought it very brave of me to say how i feel. apart from that, did not say how he feels. Very confused!!! the object of my affection and I have VERY good chemistry. We flirt all the time, a few years ago he told me that if we were in different place/different time, we could be together. Last time I saw him, he gave me a hug, actually more like a lovers embrace, and a kiss on the cheek which nearly ended up on the lips. I am in total euphoria when I am around him, talk to him, think about him. Have tried to mend current relationship with husband, but he won't acknowledge anything wrong. i get moody with him and he constantly asks me what is wrong. everything is pointing to the man of my dreams feeling the same way, but how can i be sure? any suggenstions on what i should do??
2007-03-21 15:17:09 · 15 answers · asked by kn4dr 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Look, what's to be confused about? If you're unhappy in your marriage then you need to deal with that first. Why are you even thinking of staying in this marriage if you're already looking for someone else? What would you have done if your "other guy" had said "that's great, I love you too!" ? Would you still be with your husband? These are the hard questions you need to ask yourself.
As for the 'other guy', maybe he's just not that into you. OR, maybe he is into you and he's not willing to settle for being the "other guy".
2007-03-21 15:36:47 · answer #1 · answered by RMarcin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From what you say it looks like the love between
you and the other man is one sided. Your feelings
for him is and his for you is a big question. You are
married and you seem to be un-happy with your
present man. Maybe you need to seperate to give
yourself some space to think things out without
distractions. Don't take hugs and kisses as being
a committment by your other man. If he really
cared for you the way you do for him he would
show you in more ways than just hugging and
kissing you.You are married and if you want to
work on your marriage then that is what you should
be consentrating on. If you are persistent to be
with the other man then you need to make ab-
solutely sure that he will be totally un-conditionally
committed to you becasue if you leave your hus-
band for him and he does not want the committ-
ment then you will end up with nothing. If your
husband loves you then you should at least try and
work on your marriage first before you do any-
thing. Good luck.
2007-03-21 22:37:17 · answer #2 · answered by RudiA 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, why is it so important to you to hear he "loves You" while you are still married to another man???? I'm very confused by this!!!! If you are any kind of woman, you'll get a divorce, and if this guy wants you he'll run straight for you! How can you expect him to pronounce his love for you while you are living with someone else? And anyway......if he says no, does that mean you are going to waste more of your husbands time?????
Grow up!
Life is not a damn streamy love novel.
Have you thought at all that maybe he cares for you, but he thinks you are just some bored woman that is too scared to get out on her own!
I don't mean to come off rude, but this really baffles the hell out of me!
2007-03-21 22:28:19 · answer #3 · answered by pooty36 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you really don't love your husband you should leave instead of lying. It is not fair to him to be real and leave if you want to seek another. If it doesn't work out you shouldn't feel bad because you left your husband, because you was in love with someone else not your husband. Think about this before you make your move. The other guy didn't say he loved you keep that in mind, but remember you are not happy with your husband. Work on it if you chose or just leave and be on your on don't hold on to him if you don't want him.
2007-03-21 23:14:20 · answer #4 · answered by Smile 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've known him for 9 years and have such great chemistry, why did you marry someone else 2 years ago? And if you're married and were interested in mending your current relationship, what are you doing hugging and flirting with some other guy? I hope your husband realizes what your really about and tells you to take a hike. and then I hope he hooks up with some hot chick and rubs it in your face.
2007-03-21 22:36:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
quite possibly he doesn't feel the same way. maybe he likes the idea of -no strings attached. you're married so you need to back off. it may be b/c you've not have the greatest marriage so far that you find yourself caring so much for this man. the grass isn't always greener on the other side even if it seems so at this point. give your marriage another shot. if it doesn't work, then you've tried. if you divorce, then go for the other one.
2007-03-21 22:29:48 · answer #6 · answered by racer 51 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be honest lady, you aint trying to fix crap. You are too busy thinking of this other guy. No wonder you cant get your marriage right.
You know, you should be smart enough to realize that you already made your choice. Now its time to deal with it and do what you are suppose to do.
As to why this guy wont tell you how he feels? Well, it could be any number of reasons. But I would have to think that one of them is because you are showing him you cant be trusted to make a relationship work or to be faithful. So what would he want to be in a relationship with you for? Why would he even consider you for more then a piece of strange?
2007-03-21 22:25:27 · answer #7 · answered by Mr. JW 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
My first suggestion is to dump the other man who is not your husband and to work on your marriage and seek marriage counseling and help to try and save it . I dont think this other man loves you at all. You need to learn to fall in love with your husband all over again and learn to be happy in your marriage. You need to be honest with your husband about everything as well including the feelings you have for this other man. He has the right to know.
2007-03-21 22:31:08 · answer #8 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YEAH --BEEN THERE DONR THAT!!
ok -please pay attention. My ex-husband was just like yours is now. I fell in Love with another man that Paid more attention to me...however even though the euphria, chemistry and all that was there -this OTHER man was only into me because he couldnt have me. Oh he Played it out Nicely.....all like your story...NO REALLY NO LIE!.....I seperated with my husband and this man still played it out an we even had sex manay times......but once I was divorced this man no longer wanted me......2 strikes at once what a Blow -no what would that do to your moral?!?!?!? Tells you why Im so insecure with men now!!! DONT DO IT...KEEP IT SUPER LIGHT AN INNOCENT.....LOVE YOUR HUSBAND -HE'S THERE FOR YOU FOR REAL!
2007-03-21 22:37:41 · answer #9 · answered by Rain 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At this very moment I'm experiencing the samething but my man has fingered me only once. I want him and can't stop thinking about him but want have sex. You know what I'm going to do is ran far away from him as possible and don't look back I advise you to do the same.
2007-03-25 21:55:29 · answer #10 · answered by patty m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋