How do I keep from feeling responsible and generally bad?

Question

My ex-husband moved due to job reasons. He has sole physical and legal custody of our 14 year old child. They live in a different state than me.

I went to stay with my daughter for a few weeks. His mother was helping to take care of her. She lives a few miles away.

I could not stand my ex-husband and mother-in-law putting pressure on me to reunite with my ex-husband and help him sell the contents of and actual house. So, I came back to the state where I live after about 3 weeks.

Now my daughter is having trouble in school. I feel bad that I could not stay and help her. She posted a message on her facebook page that she is stressed because of school and other stuff.

I feel like I should have pushed myself to adjust and helped here with her studies. She would not be as stressed out.

I don't know what to do now because I left behind their back and they are calling me a "thief" and accusing me of stealing things that I did not take.

Answer 1

You seem to be asking the same questions, just with different flavors.

You have been given some great answers.

Like I believe I've said before, own what are really your faults, ask a true friend who will be true to tell you if something you are accused of has merit, and reject what is unfounded.

That's the bottom line.

None of us are perfect, but we should be trying to be better everyday.

Being a perpetual victim (like I believe you have been now for the past month or more I've observed your questions here) is not going to help you.

Deleting questions that don't have happy answers is not going to help you. (I'm pretty sure you've deleted questions I've answered before.)

There is nothing wrong with admitting you need help with something.

Where it goes wrong is if you stay stuck at that stage.

From here, it looks like you are stuck. Get moving. Stop being a victim and stop focusing on everything that is wrong. Make a plan and start working on correcting what you can and be a mother you daughter wants to come live with.

I don't say this to be mean. I say it because your negativity and low self esteem are not characteristics your daughter will be drawn to.

For some reason, your ex-husband has his life wired and your daughter wants to be there. You may not like how he got there, but learn from where he is and observe what is working in that relationship between him and your girl.

Then, adopt the things that work. Order, stability, self-confidence are things it appears he has and you lack.

If you want to CARE for your daughter, then you have to stop being and appearing to be so needy.

Because, what you are doing is NOT working for you right now.

Answer 2

Why dont you move closer to your child? You dont have to live in his house but close by and talk to your ex husband about what is going on with your child. Maybe yall can come to some sort of agreement so that yall child can get the help she needs with school and you can remain a close and important part of her life.

As far as the theif thing, i think you need to clear your name, talk to whom ever started it. dont let others tarnish your name when you have done nothing wrong or too deserve it