What's the best way to refer to the deceased?

Question

My wife passed away a number of years ago. I still simply refer to her by name when talking about her with friends, but I don't know how to refer her when talking to someone who didn't know her. "My late wife" sounds like "but she'll be here any minute, traffic must be bad", and "my ex-wife" sounds like we were divorced. "My last wife" is no good either, since it makes people wonder what happened - and they usually assume divorce. We had 9 good years of marriage, and I don't want people to get that impression. "My previous wife" and "my old wife" don't give the correct impression, either.

Any ideas?

Any ideas?

I usually use "my late wife", but it still sounds odd - especially since I have re-married, and my current wife is often running a little behind schedule. Part of my dilemma is making sure people don't misunderstand, and think that my current wife has died, and doing it in a colloquial manner that doesn't require further explaination.

Answer 1

i'd stick with-late wife. in a conversation people will know what and whom you're talking about. don't fret over it. they'll know she's not caught in traffic.

Answer 2

I think people who have common sense will understand the meaning of "my late wife". If for any reason someone questions it, then you can correct them with, "no, I mean she's deceased". I can't imagine anyone will misunderstand, though.

Answer 3

My dead wife - makes you sound like a necrophiliac

My wife, who has since passed on - a bit long winded, but perhaps you prefer the euphanism? You could say my wife who is now dead.

Answer 4

First of all, I am sorry for your loss. Second of all, how would you like to refer to your wife? I suspect that referring to her as "My late wife" wouldn't actually make people think that she was going to show up late for your gathering! Instead, I think that it lets people know that you are a widower.

Answer 5

maybe "my dead wife", but that's kind of blunt. or "my deceased wife" (that sounds a little better) im not very sure. hey! if you get a newspaper, there's usually a coloum (i think i spelled that wrong) that you can write to and ask somebody like "Dear Abby" since she knows stuff like that!

Answer 6

It's a little more wordy, but "My wife, Jill who passed away two years ago," should cover it and not leave any suspicions or presuppositions that may be damaging to people's view of you.

Answer 7

why not "my dead wife" or if you are looking to score with the ladies you can just say my wife and then if they ask you where she is now or what she does for a living you can say she passed away and then they will get all sympathetic and you may be able to score with them

Answer 8

Late wife or deceased wife...that sounds more tasteful than saying your dead wife.

Answer 9

Aww..... I find it very sweet that you have put so much thought in this!~
Why don't you forget about trying to change what you call her. Just explain you are a widow and you had a FANTASTIC WIFE THAT LEFT TOO SOON!
Good luck!

Answer 10

My deceased wife (best to use this), or My wife, that died X years ago.

I used to sell coffins for a funeral home.