There are two sources of self-esteem, internal and external. I believe that your INTERNAL self-esteem comes from one of two sources: relationships and your work. Please understand, I do NOT mean the pat on the back. That's external. I don't mean the awards. External. I don't mean "lots of money". Again, that's external or it's a means of measuring your work. I mean that sense of pride that you feel inside. The pride that does NOT say, "they like me" nor "they like my work."
So besides the two ways that I know:
The quantity and quality of your relationships
and
The quality of your work.
can you think of any more ways for people to receive their internally derived self esteem? Where does that sense of pride come from in you? And please examine yourself and your answer. Can your answer NOT fall into one of these two categories? Be prepared to defend yourself and check back. I will probably respond.
Beware. Read and understand the question completely, or I will delete it.
2007-03-21 15:03:51 · 9 answers · asked by SmartAlex 4 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Yeah, sorry about that Mommyk232. I am just so sick and tired of idiots not reading the question and answering something entirely different.
2007-03-21 15:09:36 · update #1
Absolutely blaine236. Work is something you are good at. Accomplishing something. And relationships are well... relationships with people. (why has the word "relationship" become so synonymous with romance anyway?)
2007-03-21 15:22:44 · update #2
Garys1266: I said internal. You are accusing me of looking to the external. I specifially said only internal. I am proud when I accomplish a good day's work. It's not the money I made, nor the building I built, nor the ditch I dug. It's the labor I accomplished. For many it's knowing that they have people in their lives, that they are capable of taking care of others. Security in knowing that someone else needs them. You can't just be proud of just being. "Oh, look at that dude in the mirror. He EXISTS so he ROCKS!" Look dude, what if you are a person who sits on the couch doing nothing? Should you be proud then? You are who you are right? What if you are a person who just sits on couches? Do you feel pride in that? You can't know that you have lived your life well if you just sit on the couch and do nothing. You have to measure it somehow. How do you measure your self worth?
2007-03-21 15:33:59 · update #3
Your self esteem should come from you and you alone. You are looking to validate yourself based on the work you perform/the career that you are in or the friends that you have? I'm afraid you have a very skewed idea as to how to validate your own worth. It would be like going out and buying a luxury car like a BMW or a Mercedes Benz to validate your own worth to yourself. The only way to "validate' yourself is to be happy with the person that you have become or are in the process of becoming. Nothing else, people or material things, can do this for you I'm afraid. It is you that yourself has to be proud of...
2007-03-21 15:14:31 · answer #1 · answered by Gman 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Setting personal goals and accomplishing them works for me. Big or small and ones set just for myself. Some that have made me feel good and valuable to myself have been: exercising regularly until I could do 200 crunches and 30 pushups in one sitting, after having a baby, this one was great for me. Internal validation comes from liking who you are, and living your life in a way that you would be proud to tell your grandkids about.
2007-03-21 15:30:46 · answer #2 · answered by TNP Girl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree.
I note, however, that work comprises more than just employment. Answering yahoo questions and finishing quality school assignments does it for me too.
The term "relationship" should apply to friendships too. I boost my self-esteem with general social interaction, not just romantic relationships
.
And also, weed.
2007-03-21 15:13:13 · answer #3 · answered by extredx 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
"Ways to validate yourself than through relationships or by work? " seems to be the issue here. A deep sense of 'inner strength' is developed in oneself from ones own family circle and experience. This quality is 'top-up' and eventually bring one to grow in maturity through education from childhood to adulthood. This inner strength that each one of us has acquired from small ought to be taken care of by ourself through self improvement in varied ways and at the same time to guard ourself from the risk of being swallowed up by conformity to people and seemingly 'pleasing everyone'. The inner strength within the person, ought to exude from his/her personality, which tells of the authenticity of his/being. And, wherever this person goes or does this authenticity or quality of self, life and work will automatically be manifested to people and the surroundings. So, to be natural is the best! No need to live in pretense. Life would be happier then.
2007-03-21 15:36:35 · answer #4 · answered by Binnus 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Self esteem comes from within not from material possessions or friends.
Quit being such a shallow loser and grow up and be a real man!
2007-03-21 15:28:42 · answer #5 · answered by schneid123 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Boring.
2007-03-21 15:13:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
YES JUST ALWAYS "BE YOURSELF" ( try not to care what other people think or expect of you ...that's my biggest problem ) and with everything you try to do.... always give 100% that way you know you've done your best no matter what situation : )
2007-03-21 15:14:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
find something beautiful in yourself everyday. even if it's repetitve. unconciously you'll feel good about yourself coz you know you have something they don't have.
2007-03-21 15:13:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Beware my ****... what is that about?
I was gonna answer til I read that- now go do your own homework...or BEWARE!
2007-03-21 15:07:42 · answer #9 · answered by Mommyk232 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋