English Deutsch Français Italiano Español Português 繁體中文 Bahasa Indonesia Tiếng Việt ภาษาไทย
All categories

is it wrong to have an affair when you are married?, there is no chemistry at home sexually, am i being unfair to my husband by going out and doing something that makes me happy?
this is my friend cheryl's question, please tread carefully!!

2007-03-21 14:16:35 · 34 answers · asked by scarlettstar 2 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

34 answers

Its never OK to have an affair.

2007-03-21 15:14:00 · answer #1 · answered by Got Curves? 6 · 0 2

Dear Cheryl, You know doggone well it is wrong to have an affair --when you are married. What do you call the same thing when you are not married? There seems to me something illicit about 'affair' in the first place. Perhaps that is what makes it so enticing... The forbidden fruit.. Of course it is wrong....but millions of people do it. Some get caught, others don't. Some are willing to take the risk. How much do you have to lose if you are found out? Sure, you are being unfair --and unfaithful to your marriage vows. In a perfect world couples could talk these things out. They listen and find out why the other person is dissatisfied, and do something about it--or at least try... Oh, yes I can tell you at my ancient age that chemistry has a lot to do with it. Some guys can blink their eyes and say something gallant and I'm smitten, while others are "Ho-hum"... But chemistry can be enhanced with kind words, and approachability... It takes two, Cheryl.. It's not a one sided thing you know..

Out of curiosity I wonder how long --in hours, days ---does 'going out and doing something' make you happy? And who is this other guy? You going to fall in love and get your heart broken when he says "See ya Babe. I've been here and done it.. I'm outta' here before your husband shows up.. "

All that taken into account, if going out and doing something seems better than trying to fix the chemistry in your marriage, go for it..You probably won't be married long anyway..

2007-03-21 14:48:35 · answer #2 · answered by Lifestooshort 2 · 1 1

Yes, it is wrong. Sometimes after being married for awhile the chemistry isn't going to be as strong because you both have seen each other looking your worse and you are used to the same look and ways about that person. You are being unfair to your husband that you made a commitment to. Work on spicing things up with him. If you feel the need to be with others; please atleast divorce him. Don't have an affair. It is wrong and can really damage a heart.

2007-03-21 17:12:38 · answer #3 · answered by Tgirl 3 · 0 0

yes it is wrong to have an affair. I understand there's no chemistry at home but that doesn't mean you go out and find chemistry elsewhere. Bring the sparks back with your husband! Put on something sexy, go out on a date with him, do some of the things y'all used to do in the beginning of the relationship. You are being very unfair to your husband and very selfish by just doing whatever it is that makes you happy. You took vows and you have to honor those vows until you get a divorce. Talk to your husband about the lack of chemistry and pray. You'll be just fine.

2007-03-21 17:11:31 · answer #4 · answered by piercedambition 2 · 0 1

Yes it is wrong. If you are married then you do not cheat. If you were cheated on you would think that it was wrong, baby girl it works both ways. There had to have been chemistry for you to have said I DO. You work together as a team to fix it or you go your separate ways CHEATING IS NEVER THE ANSWER. It is just a quick fix but the problems will still be there. Also when you cheat it clouds your judgment. You hook up with someone and there are no strings, but at home there are bills, dirty dishes, diapers, unclosed tubes of toothpaste, missing socks, 2 AM feedings, bad hair days, snotty noses, yadda yadda yadda, so of course the other grass looks like it has a rainbow in it and a pot of gold at the end but when you get over there you got all the same crap to deal with and sometimes more. Plus then you have the trust factor. Now you are with someone who will look at you and say "If you did it to him you will do it to me." If you feel strongly about being with someone else do it the right way.

2007-03-21 14:30:00 · answer #5 · answered by Shay 2 · 1 1

Yes it is definitley wrong to have an affair when you are married and i think you know it. Yes this would be unfair to your husband and it is very selfish of you if you do. Seek counseling and help for your marriage and for you if need be and maybe you both would benefit from a sex therapist. This is for you to tell Cheryl. She needs to keep her focus on home and her marriage and work on the marriage and if she wants out then she needs to leave and let him go with a divorce before finding someone else to be with.

2007-03-21 14:56:29 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0 1

I think there are many reasons for an affair, all them are wrong, but I do understand why sometimes they have to happen to make your marriage better. Sometimes life gets humdrum because of the routine and you think about the way things were and see that green grass and want to experience it again. When you get there you realize it really wasn't so green. Just pray your marriage can withstand it. You would be better off talking to your spouse to try and find that love and freshness again. It can be done. Most people forget that marriage is work and foget to put effort into making it stay alive.

2007-03-21 14:31:55 · answer #7 · answered by dana j 4 · 1 1

i assume they might desire to bypass ask their spouses in the event that they think of having an affair is not any huge deal. it form of feels because of fact they advised you their not non secular that having an affair is an excuse this is not. faith is a reliable initiate, yet in step with hazard you may desire to ask them approximately LOVE and have faith in the event that they have any MORALS. performing on lust could have long and lasting repercussions. Ask them how they might sense if their spouses became having an affair at the back of their back? they actually do not want you to recent them with a reliable argument against mendacity and cheating, reason they already understand. this might nicely be a feeling of right and incorrect element the two they appreciate themselves and their spouses or they don't...

2016-11-27 20:55:32 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

Yes it is wrong to have an affair.
If you are not happy with things at home then he deserves to know this.
It will make him feel like a fool when he finds out, and trust me he will. Don't be rude and tell him that your love life sucks, Just simply sit down with him and have a heart to heart chat and you may be surprised to find out that you are not the only one that is not happy.

2007-03-21 15:05:00 · answer #9 · answered by Braydens' mommy 3 · 0 1

if one is not happy with their spouse, get a divorce before having an affair, as it isn't fair to the spouse, ruins self worth, causes alot of unnecessary heartache. once the honeymoon stage ends, people seem to really believe they aren't in love anymore, but love is not a feeling, its a decision. its just all about immaturity on the part of the one wanting to have an affair. in a year or so, she will not have any feeling for the affair either. its all about lust, and lust doesn't last, lust isn't real love, its just a physical thing.

2007-03-22 00:50:17 · answer #10 · answered by jude 7 · 0 1

Is your friend Cheryl completely brain dead? When you marry, you promise to have only one partner for the rest of your life. That means she gave her word that she would not have sex with anyone else for the rest of her life.

Tell her not to be a weasel and sneak around blaming it on him or on 'chemistry'. Tell her to be an adult, be honest. Break up the relationship and then go date whoever she wants. Obviously she's not mature enough for a monogamous relationship.

2007-03-21 14:55:52 · answer #11 · answered by krinkn 5 · 0 1

fedest.com, questions and answers